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Emotional insight

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by browndogisinthehouse, Apr 5, 2016.

  1. browndogisinthehouse

    browndogisinthehouse Peer Supporter

    I'm working with a counsellor to manage pain. Due to monetary issues, I cannot see her frequently . She has asked skilful at gaining an emotional insight .

    I have been journalling as part of structured educational program . I also keep an emotional diary . The most Common emotions are fear that the pain will not go way, depression and anxiety due to the monetary issues and then finally hope when I start talking to my rational brain and try not to think ahead .

    What else members recommend that I should do? I also do mindfulness-based meditation daily. It helps for several minutes in controlling the pain and relaxing the muscle. But someday, I will have to work to get the money so someday the pain has 2 reduce enough for me to be able to work. For now I left it to God
     
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Browndogsinthehouse,

    I think you are doing a lot right now, and it is right-on.

    You're doing the SEP, and you are learning mindfulness (which will help you observe your fear, and not get so caught up in it), and you are getting help with a counselor.

    Did you see this thread by Forest?
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/dr-sarnos-2003-article-with-dr-rashbaum.12181/ (Dr. Sarno's 2003 article with Dr. Rashbaum)

    This looks at the internal life as being the most important factor. The TMS Recovery Program helps you investigate this, with recordings to listen to as well. You can begin to integrate this program into your SEP any time...

    I hope you are patient with the process. It takes most of us some time to unwind the pain patterns. Regular practice, as you are doing is needed, and effective.

    Andy B
     
  3. browndogisinthehouse

    browndogisinthehouse Peer Supporter

    Thank you for your response. I looked at that thread posted by forest. also thanks for pointing out that the tms receovery program can be integrated
    Perhaps someone could clarify one point for me
    what is the difference between disciplining yourself and being unkind to yourself in TMS context

    For example, I don't go to sleep unless I have finished the daily task that is listed in the structured educational program. Is that being harsh on oneself?

    The overall problem is that though the theory makes sense, it is not clear how to implement it. Just about anything and everything can enrage my subconscious because it is so primitive. The traffic, the pollution even this constant struggle with pain and the consequent loss of relationships is theoretically material enough for the subconscious to be angry. The adult brain has to take control the subconscious at some level.
     
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Simply use this understanding about your reactions to things to explain to yourself why you are in pain.
    "I am really irritated by the traffic. How might my Inner Child feel?" "My Inner Child is probably feeling __(enraged, not taken care of, not loved, not attuned to....) __________?" Are these emotions OK for you, or are you rejecting them? Even wondering how to stop them is a form of rejection. Difficult feelings that "don't want to be felt" create the need for the pain.

    The technique is not to get rid of the feelings, but to connect them in your mind as the cause of the pain, or more to the point: It is the not wanting to feel the emotions that is causing the pain.

    A little deeper in this investigation is "do you reject yourself for these feelings?" If so, how does your Inner Child feel being told it is wrong for its feelings? Not seen, enraged, sad?

    We're just noticing what is arising in us, moment to moment, and connecting this to Dr. Sarno's theory.We're contemplating (without always knowing for sure) what the real source of our symptoms might be.

    Andy B
     
  5. Jacqui9

    Jacqui9 Peer Supporter

    Andy, I want to make sure that I'm understanding your point. Are you saying that to get rid of the pain we just need to allow ourselves to feel the emotion we are feeling whatever it is regarding whatever is going on at the moment? Also, that we do not need to know specifically what the real source of our symptoms are? If I'm correct in understanding what you are saying, if we have the same emotion regarding the same situation over and over will the pain eventually go away anyway? For instance, for me I know that part of my problem is that I fear the pain. I don't fear it all the time but it comes up often. I can feel it in my body - a very unpleasant physical feeling in my chest that if I let it get away from me it can lead to minor panic. So again if I am understanding you correctly I should just feel the feeling, know what it is and let it pass and eventually the pain will pass. Please forgive me if I am way off on this. I am just trying to understand why I have this pain when the doctors can find no reason for it.
     
  6. browndogisinthehouse

    browndogisinthehouse Peer Supporter

    As always, thank you Andy for your response. The takeaway for me is that when I get into a stressful situation, I will say to myself if my inner child is in a rage, frustration? And then I will acknowledge the feeling by labelling it and then continue

    For example, if I get stuck in a traffic jam, I'm just going to say to myself that this is frustrating and hope that the subconscious considers this is an acknowledgement and hopefully doesn't convert that into extra pain
     
  7. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Browndogsinthehouse wrote: As always, thank you Andy for your response. The takeaway for me is that when I get into a stressful situation, I will say to myself if my inner child is in a rage, frustration? And then I will acknowledge the feeling by labelling it and then continue

    For example, if I get stuck in a traffic jam, I'm just going to say to myself that this is frustrating and hope that the subconscious considers this is an acknowledgement and hopefully doesn't convert that into extra pain


    Yes, that is a good basic practice. With this, you should also add an important part: "I see that you're using pain to distract me from my feelings. That is not needed." Or in some other way add Dr. Sarno's specific understanding, to send a message that you are "seeing behind the curtain." So you are making an aim to feel and allow more, then, deeper, inquire into and acknowledge the feelings of the Inner Child, based on what you are aware of and your imagination, and in the moment connecting this experience to the symptoms using Dr. Sarno's theory. Dr. Sarno says that (paraphrased) "when you see the truth of the real cause of pain, that it is a defense mechanism so that you don't feel difficult feelings, then this unconscious strategy to 'not feel' will subside. Therefore the symptoms will subside. The TMS strategy of distraction-through-symptoms will not continue when you see it fully, because you're not going along with the distraction any more."
     
  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Jacqui,
    I think my explanation to browndogsinthehouse just above is pretty good. Working with fear, which we all have to do with TMS symptoms, may take a little more nuance, in the sense that you may take a more 'distant' or witnessing stance. Fear and anxiety usually don't need to be "felt more." But they need to be acknowledged and held with compassion. I don't know if you've seen this article on fear, but it reviews many strategies, and in its tone is very understanding. It recognizes the challenges of working with fear, specifically, vs other feelings.

    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/understanding-and-overcoming-fear.8574/ (Dr. Schubiner's Blog - Understanding and overcoming fear)
    We can use our imagination and gentle inquiry to tell our deeper selves that we are "interested in what is happening." This invitation over time may be more important than finding very specific feelings that trigger our TMS. We're saying that the feelings are there, and they are OK. The knowledge of the specifics will come, if needed.
     
  9. Jacqui9

    Jacqui9 Peer Supporter

    Andy, Thanks so much. I printed the article on Fear so I can have it handy to read more than once since it might also help to read it when Fear strikes. I am having severe pain on some days so have been pushing myself a little to try to figure out what is causing it. So I will back off a little and take your advice to use "gentle inquiry".
     
  10. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Great. You're trying to use new techniques with new theories. The whole thing is a process over time... it slowly goes deeper.
     
    Jacqui9 likes this.

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