Driving hurts...

[mkdragonfly]

Today I am on Day 6 of the program. I started reading Sarno's book about a week before that. I'm at least intellectually convinced that TMS is real for me. Today after listening to Dr. Shubiner's talk I think I had my first breakthrough in that the pain moved to my other leg (if only for a brief 1 hour or so time). I'm trying to be patient with myself. Sitting hurts. My pain is not huge - but chronic and constant and dull... I am journaling and feel like that helps. I'm pretty sure my pain when I drive (or sit) is a conditioned response, but I am not making much headway. I am cutting back on some of my driving, because I feel like I am so tuned into the pain when I drive and I have a hard time thinking of anything else, although I try to distract myself with music and singing. Is it okay for now, at least as much as I can, to try to drive as little as possible?

 

[Mermaid]

Hi mkdragonfly.

Conditioned responses are inevitable. I suffered the same thing with stiff painful shoulders when I drove, I made the mistake of being over accommodating to it and only driving short trips. That was playing into it's hands by letting it control me. Rather than trying to distract myself, I gradually learned to accept it and just let it be, by repeatedly telling myself that it is a harmless conditioned response that I wasn't getting involved with. I'd speak to it out load when I was driving alone and tell it that I was on to it and just bored with it, so don't bother trying. It took a while to sink into my unconscious mind, but I got there in the end.

Don't expect too much of yourself too soon. We all make the same mistake when we begin TMS healing; wanting results fast !! This is understandable since nobody wants to be in pain a second longer. Although this is human nature it's also counterproductive, and part an parcel of the TMS personality. Unfortunately impatience creates more tension, which is what is at the root of TMS, so try to relax about your healing, don't treat it as something to be ticked off your to do list. It's a journey of discovery that can't be rushed.

I hope some of that helps

 

[mkdragonfly]

Hi mkdragonfly.

Conditioned responses are inevitable. I suffered the same thing with stiff painful shoulders when I drove, I made the mistake of being over accommodating to it and only driving short trips. That was playing into it's hands by letting it control me. Rather than trying to distract myself, I gradually learned to accept it and just let it be, by repeatedly telling myself that it is a harmless conditioned response that I wasn't getting involved with. I'd speak to it out load when I was driving alone and tell it that I was on to it and just bored with it, so don't bother trying. It took a while to sink into my unconscious mind, but I got there in the end.

Don't expect too much of yourself too soon. We all make the same mistake when we begin TMS healing; wanting results fast !! This is understandable since nobody wants to be in pain a second longer. Although this is human nature it's also counterproductive, and part an parcel of the TMS personality. Unfortunately impatience creates more tension, which is what is at the root of TMS, so try to relax about your healing, don't treat it as something to be ticked off your to do list. It's a journey of discovery that can't be rushed.

I hope some of that helps

 

[mkdragonfly]

Many thanks Mermaid! Pain has been following me much of my life - I remember after I had my child, my midwife said, look it took nine months to get this way, give yourself nine months to get it off and that made me feel easier and I went back to my normal weight rather quickly. I was bulimic for many years and learned through that healing process that, although I didn't realize it at first, I ate for all the wrong reasons - mainly to soothe myself as I couldn't deal with my own emotions effectively. Pain spanning forty years in various degrees - via tendonitis in both arms, shoulder issues, knees issue and now "sciatica" - I guess I have more work to do. On the other hand, I couldn't be more thrilled than to realize just how powerful the mind is and how I can use that to heal. Your note brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the advice.

 

[TG957]

After a bad accident some time ago, I also have a conditioned response to driving - neuropathic pain and numbness in hands and arms. Makes it very difficult to ignore when I feel like I am holding bare electric wire, as soon I get on the freeway. Night time driving and rainy weather make symptoms much worse. I constantly talk to myself while driving about harmless nature of the symptoms, but nevertheless I can't stop worrying about potentially not being able to respond to an emergency situation in a split second. Driving less is not an option, it only feeds my unconscious fear. I take it one day at a time, push myself a tiny bit every week, and do not set deadlines on my recovery. The less attention and worry I give to my driving limitations, the more progress I make in my recovery. In a year, I went from lasting only 5 minutes on a freeway to driving for 1 hour without stopping and was able to drive at night in heavy rain and keep up with the rest of traffic for about 20 minutes. So, I celebrate my achievements and try not to think of limitations.

 

[Mermaid]

I'm glad to help, I know exactly how you feel. Try not to get too frustrated. Self compassion is the key, be your own best friend. TMS healing is simple, but not easy for most of us. LOSE the fear, lose the pain.
Bless you

 

[mkdragonfly]

After a bad accident some time ago, I also have a conditioned response to driving - neuropathic pain and numbness in hands and arms. Makes it very difficult to ignore when I feel like I am holding bare electric wire, as soon I get on the freeway. Night time driving and rainy weather make symptoms much worse. I constantly talk to myself while driving about harmless nature of the symptoms, but nevertheless I can't stop worrying about potentially not being able to respond to an emergency situation in a split second. Driving less is not an option, it only feeds my unconscious fear. I take it one day at a time, push myself a tiny bit every week, and do not set deadlines on my recovery. The less attention and worry I give to my driving limitations, the more progress I make in my recovery. In a year, I went from lasting only 5 minutes on a freeway to driving for 1 hour without stopping and was able to drive at night in heavy rain and keep up with the rest of traffic for about 20 minutes. So, I celebrate my achievements and try not to think of limitations.

After a bad accident some time ago, I also have a conditioned response to driving - neuropathic pain and numbness in hands and arms. Makes it very difficult to ignore when I feel like I am holding bare electric wire, as soon I get on the freeway. Night time driving and rainy weather make symptoms much worse. I constantly talk to myself while driving about harmless nature of the symptoms, but nevertheless I can't stop worrying about potentially not being able to respond to an emergency situation in a split second. Driving less is not an option, it only feeds my unconscious fear. I take it one day at a time, push myself a tiny bit every week, and do not set deadlines on my recovery. The less attention and worry I give to my driving limitations, the more progress I make in my recovery. In a year, I went from lasting only 5 minutes on a freeway to driving for 1 hour without stopping and was able to drive at night in heavy rain and keep up with the rest of traffic for about 20 minutes. So, I celebrate my achievements and try not to think of limitations.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, mkdragonfly. You're not alone in eating more to compensate for pain. I just read that Barbra Streisand says she has been eating more lately because of emotional stress caused by our new President. I'm not eating more, but for the same reason I am spending more time on the computer, looking for ways to raise my spirits.

You are showing great TMS healing by driving longer distances. This builds your confidence. Keep it up, and keep happy.