Do I need to direct my rage to someone to be effective?

[Xanamcx]

Meaning really get angry and confront that person for the rage to really get released or is it enough that I acknowledge that I have this rage on this person in my head?

I just don’t want to have cancer or chronic problem in the longrun- again.

Thanks so much!

 

[Ellen]

No, there is no need to express the rage. You just need to be aware of it consciously (not repressing it), and look beneath it to what are the real emotions and thoughts that are triggering it.

 

[Dfw]

I think moving on is the best, although if his person is in your daily life, that can be challenging.

If they are in your daily life, I would « calmly » have a discussion about what your issues are. I, actually just did this with someone and they didn’t even realize how what they said was troubling to me. Each person and situation is unique, so challenges present themselves on how to respond.

One of the greatest quotes goes something like this;
Staying mad at someone has no effect on them, but makes you miserable (Not exact, but you get the point)

I don’t disagree with Ellen, but for me, I cannot let it simmer, I need closure. Your way, her way, my way to closure can be different paths on the same road. We are all here to help each other & respect the views and what works for one may not work for another.

This is just another prospective on the same road.

Hugs to all

 

[kamu cantik]

I was thinking recently about the fact that I accumulate a lot of repressed anger. Sometimes I end up exploding at someone once it gets so pent up over time. One close family member has said to me repeatedly 'Just say it if stuff comes up. Don't let it accumulate over time.' All good but just in the past few days it has dawned on me the reason why I do not express that anger at the time. Three of the key people in my family that I deal with - both parents and my ex-partner (that I still spend a lot of time with as a friend) - do not accept my anger as legitimate if I express it. They take it personally. I get attacked personally and told I am wrong, that I've done a bad thing, I am unappreciative etc. So it isn't safe for me to express my anger. This seems a bit obvious now but has made me feel a lot better about why I haven't expressed my anger to them. Take a good look in the mirror folks and take some responsibility. ... Having said all that, my question is ... should I just throw caution to the wind and knowing I'll get attacked just go ahead and let them know when I am angry because it is better for my health to do so??? ..... Um I am just new to this forum commenting. I am not sure this comment should have been posted on this thread. Apologies!