composingkeys
New Member
Hi All,
First of all, is there a TMS doctor I can see in Los Angeles area?
Here is my story.
I'm a 31 years old male. I've been a musician since 15. I started out on drums and jammed until my elbows would sometimes get hot. I switched over to Piano at 16 and played it a lot at home. It had melody and rhythm all in one. I began taking piano lessons and found that I realized I didn't like getting any sort of criticism. My Dad always points out the negative and tends to "take over" when he cares, otherwise he usually isn't interested. I think this rubbed on me and made me sensitive to any criticism because of hearing him complain so much and not getting enough confidence in myself.
Anyways, I would play Piano for hours and hours. It was a way for me to express myself and at school, I didn't really fit in much and felt kind of alone. Oral presentations made me nervous and I wasn't into sports. I wasn't picked on in school so much and nobody really disliked me but I didn't really have friends at school except say one that I hung out with at lunch.
At age 20 or 21, I got pain in my elbows that were really severe. I am on the computer a lot playing games, or composing on the computer, or playing piano, etc so I figured it was an injury. It got so bad that I could barely hold the steering wheel on my car or hold a mouse.
I saw a chiropractor for 10 sessions who diagnosed me as having Tendonitis by looking at me. First session I got some strength back in my hands as I didn't realize they were weak but after that, no benefits and I felts stuck. I exercised and stopped computer use or writing. Nothing seemed to help. I then went to Prolotherapy for 3 sessions for injections and they too didn't seem to help. A Hand Surgeon looked at my hand and said because I didn't have numbness that I didn't have Carpal Tunnel.
I was really angry with God as my Piano teacher told me he felt impressed to tell me I was a professional and plugged into the source. My Piano teacher studied piano for 20 years. I took that as answered prayer as I asked God to tell me what I should do with my life and my Piano teacher told me I was profession the same day or next day from that prayer so it made me very angry that all of a sudden I couldn't move in my life that I was stuck and in terrible agony.
About 6 months or so, I started feeling better and took a job at a music software place. The 2nd or 3rd day the pain returned and I almost quit but felt too embarrassed to already want to leave so I figured, I will stay 3 months or 6 months to have a good work credit. The Pain started to go away in time at my job.
I ended up lifting something a year ago at our once a year convention we attend at work and got hurt with my low back and did a stressful work comp situation. I was very anxious about what would happen. Would I get fired? I eventually got an MRI since I started getting sciatica like pain. It seems my leg has this presence in my calf that sometimes goes to my feet but I don't really feel anything in the upper thigh part. Sometimes it can become painful and radiate other times it just a presence and sometimes no pain at all. The MRI checked from L3 to S1. They showed nothing extreme, no herniated discs. 8 sessions of physical therapy seemed to help as I was going through it but then it seemed to not make any longer term difference. It was very confusing on what was happening. In addition to my low back hurting I have pain when I sit and my SI Joints seemed to be the cause I think. I wasn't and still am not sure what is going on. They did SI Joint injection on me and nothing happened until about 3rd week I started feeling better but then by 4th week it all got very painful and I was still unsure. I just wished somebody could tell me exactly what was happening. Fast forward a year, I am trying to see a chiropractor to see if I may have SI Joint issues and hoping some manipulations would help that area. Sometimes my low back will start to feel very sensitive like sunburned almost and I can feel it around the whole back into my hips from left to right. If I press on my low spine, it will sting at a certain place. The more I messed with it or felt around the sunburn feeling, I started getting aches or burning feeling. It can keep me up at night but then it goes away later on that day and seems to not act up. It can almost go away for awhile.
It seems I am getting stacked up with problems. When I am unfamiliar with how to deal with something, I tend to over react and freeze at times. My arms are hurting in the elbows both Tennis and Golfers elbow regions. My wrists seem to hurt and into my thumbs and index fingers. I feel like an "old man" having all these issues like what is wrong with me? I thought I was having Rheumatoid Arthritis but the Rhematologist said there were no obvious signs in my blood but I could still have minor kind despite this. I started have Gential pain and groin pain. Pain would hurt there with a flaccid state and ejaculation could cause irritation. I finally found a site discussing symptoms are related to Pelvic Floor Dysfunction for that but I'm thinking maybe even that is TMS or from Anxiety tensing down there subconciously.
I feel stuck in my composing career cause I feel I can't rely on myself when my arms hurt like this and I feel frustrated that I am living at home. I thought my job I got at 22 would be temporary until my music took off but it still hasn't yet. I have gotten some awards but financially not much and I feel anxious dealing with people I don't know, that I will be criticized. I therefore try to please to avoid this and try to be a perfectionist to avoid my work having problems that can exhaust me.
So I'm not sure what to do. I find anxiety is something I deal with. I stopped letting the symptoms get me so much and have avoided Panic Attacks that I had 5 years ago but still get concerned about new situations about coming off stupid to others. I seem to have an underlying insecurity.
Is it possible that TMS is to blame and not structural? My arms seem strange to me to have so many issues and to flare up or come and go. I don't even know how to "diagnose" the issues. My low back doesn't have herniation and maybe I did really get hurt but my mind used that area to continue it to act up? When I get stressed or worry about it, it seems to get worse. I'm still unsure if it is the SI Joints or low back or both as it tend to play tricks on me.
Thoughts? Sorry this is so long, I just thought the more background info the better.
Thank you!
First of all, is there a TMS doctor I can see in Los Angeles area?
Here is my story.
I'm a 31 years old male. I've been a musician since 15. I started out on drums and jammed until my elbows would sometimes get hot. I switched over to Piano at 16 and played it a lot at home. It had melody and rhythm all in one. I began taking piano lessons and found that I realized I didn't like getting any sort of criticism. My Dad always points out the negative and tends to "take over" when he cares, otherwise he usually isn't interested. I think this rubbed on me and made me sensitive to any criticism because of hearing him complain so much and not getting enough confidence in myself.
Anyways, I would play Piano for hours and hours. It was a way for me to express myself and at school, I didn't really fit in much and felt kind of alone. Oral presentations made me nervous and I wasn't into sports. I wasn't picked on in school so much and nobody really disliked me but I didn't really have friends at school except say one that I hung out with at lunch.
At age 20 or 21, I got pain in my elbows that were really severe. I am on the computer a lot playing games, or composing on the computer, or playing piano, etc so I figured it was an injury. It got so bad that I could barely hold the steering wheel on my car or hold a mouse.
I saw a chiropractor for 10 sessions who diagnosed me as having Tendonitis by looking at me. First session I got some strength back in my hands as I didn't realize they were weak but after that, no benefits and I felts stuck. I exercised and stopped computer use or writing. Nothing seemed to help. I then went to Prolotherapy for 3 sessions for injections and they too didn't seem to help. A Hand Surgeon looked at my hand and said because I didn't have numbness that I didn't have Carpal Tunnel.
I was really angry with God as my Piano teacher told me he felt impressed to tell me I was a professional and plugged into the source. My Piano teacher studied piano for 20 years. I took that as answered prayer as I asked God to tell me what I should do with my life and my Piano teacher told me I was profession the same day or next day from that prayer so it made me very angry that all of a sudden I couldn't move in my life that I was stuck and in terrible agony.
About 6 months or so, I started feeling better and took a job at a music software place. The 2nd or 3rd day the pain returned and I almost quit but felt too embarrassed to already want to leave so I figured, I will stay 3 months or 6 months to have a good work credit. The Pain started to go away in time at my job.
I ended up lifting something a year ago at our once a year convention we attend at work and got hurt with my low back and did a stressful work comp situation. I was very anxious about what would happen. Would I get fired? I eventually got an MRI since I started getting sciatica like pain. It seems my leg has this presence in my calf that sometimes goes to my feet but I don't really feel anything in the upper thigh part. Sometimes it can become painful and radiate other times it just a presence and sometimes no pain at all. The MRI checked from L3 to S1. They showed nothing extreme, no herniated discs. 8 sessions of physical therapy seemed to help as I was going through it but then it seemed to not make any longer term difference. It was very confusing on what was happening. In addition to my low back hurting I have pain when I sit and my SI Joints seemed to be the cause I think. I wasn't and still am not sure what is going on. They did SI Joint injection on me and nothing happened until about 3rd week I started feeling better but then by 4th week it all got very painful and I was still unsure. I just wished somebody could tell me exactly what was happening. Fast forward a year, I am trying to see a chiropractor to see if I may have SI Joint issues and hoping some manipulations would help that area. Sometimes my low back will start to feel very sensitive like sunburned almost and I can feel it around the whole back into my hips from left to right. If I press on my low spine, it will sting at a certain place. The more I messed with it or felt around the sunburn feeling, I started getting aches or burning feeling. It can keep me up at night but then it goes away later on that day and seems to not act up. It can almost go away for awhile.
It seems I am getting stacked up with problems. When I am unfamiliar with how to deal with something, I tend to over react and freeze at times. My arms are hurting in the elbows both Tennis and Golfers elbow regions. My wrists seem to hurt and into my thumbs and index fingers. I feel like an "old man" having all these issues like what is wrong with me? I thought I was having Rheumatoid Arthritis but the Rhematologist said there were no obvious signs in my blood but I could still have minor kind despite this. I started have Gential pain and groin pain. Pain would hurt there with a flaccid state and ejaculation could cause irritation. I finally found a site discussing symptoms are related to Pelvic Floor Dysfunction for that but I'm thinking maybe even that is TMS or from Anxiety tensing down there subconciously.
I feel stuck in my composing career cause I feel I can't rely on myself when my arms hurt like this and I feel frustrated that I am living at home. I thought my job I got at 22 would be temporary until my music took off but it still hasn't yet. I have gotten some awards but financially not much and I feel anxious dealing with people I don't know, that I will be criticized. I therefore try to please to avoid this and try to be a perfectionist to avoid my work having problems that can exhaust me.
So I'm not sure what to do. I find anxiety is something I deal with. I stopped letting the symptoms get me so much and have avoided Panic Attacks that I had 5 years ago but still get concerned about new situations about coming off stupid to others. I seem to have an underlying insecurity.
Is it possible that TMS is to blame and not structural? My arms seem strange to me to have so many issues and to flare up or come and go. I don't even know how to "diagnose" the issues. My low back doesn't have herniation and maybe I did really get hurt but my mind used that area to continue it to act up? When I get stressed or worry about it, it seems to get worse. I'm still unsure if it is the SI Joints or low back or both as it tend to play tricks on me.
Thoughts? Sorry this is so long, I just thought the more background info the better.
Thank you!
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