MSZ812
Well known member
Instead of putting this in my journal entry, I'm posting it on here, in hopes that it could be of use to somebody at some point in time.
When I was 16 years old, my parents divorced. I was devastated. They had been fighting since I was 14, and my mom kicked my dad out when I was 15. Looking back, it was such a crucial time in my "growing up". These are the formative years when a boy learns how to be a man. I definitely hold some resentment that my family wasn't intact during this time. My sisters were both older than me and much more formed as people. I know it was difficult for them too. I have vivid memories of being woken up at 4 am many mornings as my dad was leaving for work and my mom was getting ready for the day. They fought, not screaming, but that tone of voice where you know they WANT to be screaming. Like when you have to discipline your unruly child in a very public place, but don't want to cause attention. My parents probably assumed they were being quiet enough not to be heard. I could never fall back asleep after those arguments. Not a great way to begin my day. I very much hid my feelings during this time. On the surface, when compared to my other family members, I was dealing with the separation/divorce fairly well. I learned to keep it all in. I became disillusioned with relationships. I remember constantly thinking: I'm never getting married. This all happened during a time in which I should be seeking out my first serious relationships with girls. I stopped doing things that normally interested me: sports, after school activities, hanging out with friends. I was never the most popular kid, but I had a core group of friends that I suddenly didn't want to be around. I didn't tell them about my parents splitting up. I just stopped connecting with people. I would eat my lunch alone, earbuds in, fading out my surroundings. I wasn't getting invited to parties anymore. It was probably the darkest time of my life. I began gaining weight, eating to feel good, and no longer getting exercise through sports. I even developed a stomach ulcer, keeping me out of school for a week. That was almost certainly a TMS equivalent. I got out of this funk at some point during my senior year of high school, thanks in part to my friends and a councilor with whom I met with once a week. I'm not surprised that TMS symptoms came back a few years ago, now in the form of shoulder pain. They say that time heals all wounds. We shall see. I do have a good relationship with my parents today, although the journey has been rocky. That does not heal those past wounds, however. I'm hopeful that simply acknowledging these issues that have been stored deep down will aid me in becoming pain-free.
- Matt
When I was 16 years old, my parents divorced. I was devastated. They had been fighting since I was 14, and my mom kicked my dad out when I was 15. Looking back, it was such a crucial time in my "growing up". These are the formative years when a boy learns how to be a man. I definitely hold some resentment that my family wasn't intact during this time. My sisters were both older than me and much more formed as people. I know it was difficult for them too. I have vivid memories of being woken up at 4 am many mornings as my dad was leaving for work and my mom was getting ready for the day. They fought, not screaming, but that tone of voice where you know they WANT to be screaming. Like when you have to discipline your unruly child in a very public place, but don't want to cause attention. My parents probably assumed they were being quiet enough not to be heard. I could never fall back asleep after those arguments. Not a great way to begin my day. I very much hid my feelings during this time. On the surface, when compared to my other family members, I was dealing with the separation/divorce fairly well. I learned to keep it all in. I became disillusioned with relationships. I remember constantly thinking: I'm never getting married. This all happened during a time in which I should be seeking out my first serious relationships with girls. I stopped doing things that normally interested me: sports, after school activities, hanging out with friends. I was never the most popular kid, but I had a core group of friends that I suddenly didn't want to be around. I didn't tell them about my parents splitting up. I just stopped connecting with people. I would eat my lunch alone, earbuds in, fading out my surroundings. I wasn't getting invited to parties anymore. It was probably the darkest time of my life. I began gaining weight, eating to feel good, and no longer getting exercise through sports. I even developed a stomach ulcer, keeping me out of school for a week. That was almost certainly a TMS equivalent. I got out of this funk at some point during my senior year of high school, thanks in part to my friends and a councilor with whom I met with once a week. I'm not surprised that TMS symptoms came back a few years ago, now in the form of shoulder pain. They say that time heals all wounds. We shall see. I do have a good relationship with my parents today, although the journey has been rocky. That does not heal those past wounds, however. I'm hopeful that simply acknowledging these issues that have been stored deep down will aid me in becoming pain-free.
- Matt
