Day 5 Digging up memories

[JMR]

I'm about to go on a Disney vacation with my family and I am anxiety ridden about feeling poorly with my back. I am trying to fight the fear and I exercised through it today. Does anyone have any tips or feel the same way. I guess I'm fearing both the pain and letting down my family in some way by not being 100%
I did my first journal entry about an event or basically multiple events caused by my father due to his mental illness. I found it difficult at times to remember details but I know things happened that were just terrible to see as a teenager. Anyway I'm babbling but I hope to hear from someone.

 

[Ryan]

Your not alone, the fear of the pain is something I used to struggle with and still do at times. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to function perfectly on your trip. Go read Alan Gordon's outcome independence. Try to go on your trip with no outcome expectations.

Also try being truly present and mindful of what you are doing each moment. Your trip has not even come yet and you are already fearing about your pain on the trip. If you continue to live in the future this will keep bringing fear. Everything going to be ok, have acceptance for where you are no matter good or bad.

I also suggest you also listen to the Claire Weekes audio posted on the wiki somewhere. Try to look for it in the search bar on front page. Those recordings have helped me a lot with acceptance of fear/anxiety.

Things may not change overnight but that's ok. It's a marathon not a sprint. Keep at and you will heal. We are what we believe, if you believe your body is healthy you will be healthy, if you believe your body is broken it will be. Best of luck you will heal, it just may not be on your timeframe.

Ryan