Digestive issues

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sav5000

New Member
Hi! I have been learning about TMS for many months now and trying to apply it. I have scoured this forum for my questions and am still left with some, so am hoping for some personalized answers. I know lots of people have recovered from their digestive issues/IBS, but haven’t seen any specifics. I’m in my 20s and have been dealing with bad/sometimes severe digestive issues for several years and am sure it’s TMS/mind-body related. I have intrusive and obsessive thoughts so my mind can’t help but focus on my stomach issues and stay there, worrying over and over obsessively because they’re so distressing. I deal with lots of anxiety but most of it is due to these nonstop stomach issues. I’ve been trying to calm down my thoughts and body but it feels very difficult right now, as I’ve been in this heightened state for several years straight. I feel the key is the TMS approach of accepting or just not caring about your symptoms, but am wondering how specifically to do that in this case.

There are two main parts to this that I’m wondering if anyone has ideas about.
  1. An example is that I often get very bad and painful stomachaches or trapped gas. I have tried every day for months to just try and ignore this and “not care” about it, and give myself messages of safety, but literally don’t understand how when it’s this painful. I know plenty of people have been able to overcome various types of pain with this approach, I know it can be done, and have been trying over and over. Has anyone has similar symptoms and been able to overcome them or tell yourself anything that helps?
  1. When things aren’t just “trapped” but need to come out, like IBS-M. I often am constipated or the opposite, and feel very sick from it, and am wondering how you can ignore things like this when something needs to physically happen to make the discomfort go away — whether that’s going to the bathroom or just trapped gas that needs to be released like the above question?
I have reached the point in this journey where I don’t think any more supplements, modalities, etc can help me, and that it’s up to me to do this and retrain my brain/body. This feels empowering yet very overwhelming and scary because I feel a lot of pressure to figure all this out by myself, but don’t quite know how.

I know calming down my nervous system is key so I’ve been doing deep breathing throughout every day, all day. I am also in IFS therapy. Besides this, I reassure myself that I am safe and okay and it will all work out. I’ve had a little success with this so far but not enough, so feel like I’m missing some part and could be doing more. If anyone has any advice I would be extremely grateful. Thank you! ❤️
 
I think you are supposed to first accept your symptoms, then learn to notice the connection between symptoms and what is going on with you emotionally and situationally..., then maybe start to experience the symptoms as emotions.. and then deal with your life more rationally and ignore your symptoms/emotions. You are putting the cart way before the horse.

I find it is particular to Sarno that he says to basically tell yourself you're being irrational and 'get on with life' like that. Typical doctor attitude in my opinion. Most of the other mindbody approaches tell you to look at symptoms and emotions as your body's wisdom, your inner guidance, etc; I find this attitude more in keeping with my own values.
 
Hello @sav5000
and welcome!
First of all, you need to congratulate yourself for seeing your symptoms for what they are and seeking help, and being open and willing to be head on and take responsibility for your healing.
IFS therapy is an excellent addition to doing TMS work.
If you have not yet done so, I recommend reading The Divided Mind by Dr. Sarno - it's small, and an easy read and you will begin to notice some of the similarities to ISF work pretty quickly - I think seeing yourself in this book will help with your ISF work.

Try Nichole Sach's Journalspeak through the eyes of ISF - write your heart out, every anxiety, anger anger anger anger and then see this through all parts of you. Free directions thanks to Nichole! https://www.yourbreakawake.com/journalspeak (JournalSpeak | BreakAwake by Nicole Sachs)

You are already aware of the effect of your nervous system - have you accepted that anxiety, not just about symptoms but in general may have gotten your nervous system into it's current state? Some people need more work to help it regulate including internal messages of safety which may be overall, but for you are probably also directly symptom related. It's embarrassing and difficult to have these symptoms. A great way to begin learning about anxiety and how to treat it for any symptom is by reading a book by Claire Weekes. She gives exact directions of what to do and the mindset you need. Your symptoms are loud - it doesn't mean you can't always ignore them, but she will help you recognize and accept that they are temporary signs of anxiety, that can change over time.

Recognize that this takes time. Who knows how long. I love that you've already noticed some small changes. The most important changes to note are those that are part of your attitude and mental health. Note these and revel in your progress.
 
@Ybird Thank you for your reply!! Accepting my symptoms is one of the hardest parts for me because they are so painful. But I'm working on it. I do sometimes see a connection between the symptoms and what else is going on, but sometimes it seems random and baffling. I have figured out my core issues and am working with a therapist. Just am wondering what else I can do until they are all addressed emotionally. I have so many circling thoughts all the time that I'm just trying to figure out how to redirect them more productively while I work on the emotional side. I also feel better about a more gentler approach than Dr. Sarno's.
 
@Cactusflower Thank you for your reply ❤️ I will look into those books, thank you! I feel desperate to get the answers already, yet at the same time, overwhelmed by more reading and research, since I've done so much already. I sometimes wonder if continuing to research about TMS gives me more anxiety because there is more focus on my symptoms again, and an almost panic to figure this out. But I would feel that way with or without reading. Yes, my general anxiety definitely contributed to my nervous system's current state. Thank you again for the resources and your words of support
 
Desperation is a form of anxiety, and I would urge you to look at the parts of you that make you feel desperate, that push you into feeling you must loose these symptoms and loose them now.
ISF is about accepting these parts of you exactly as they stand now, and to not push them away, obsess over them or sweep them under the rug to just "get on" with life. The symptoms are communicating to you that something deeper is going on.
The anxiety over TMS is probably to heal "perfectly". This is why reading a book by Dr. Sarno is so essential. I think you will see yourself in his writing. He will also explain that you need to think psychologically and return your mind to the sources of "irritation" (anger). His hypothesis is that you are subconsciously angry and enraged about something (or it can simply be a cumulative state of mind over a lifetime) but you have learned that being angry or feeling this anger (or other emotions) isn't acceptable. His book will probably be reassuring to show you that the ISF work is absolutely a great path for you: it teaches you to think psychologically, and to see the interplay between your parts.
Reading Claire Weekes is like having a granny whisper in your ear that you are OK, and that she'll show you you are absolutely OK even if you feel rotten. Her book is small and quaint and you'll marvel at how simple it is and that you don't have to figure anything out at all.
Nichole Sach's will echo: you are not broken (even if you feel like it right now), and there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain currently thinks there is something wrong because of the anxiety and stress you internally generate.
What you learn is how to think differently about yourself, over time. You'll begin to recognize when you are doing or saying things to yourself that generate stress and anxiety and you can simply re-direct thoughts.
It's important not to add all this as a stressor too. You don't need to do it all now - take a week or two to read Sarno and let it sink in. How about 15 minutes each day to read a paragraph or two (the books are not large, and libraries have them...it is also available via audio book on many library apps and Audible and Dr. Sarno reads it himself). Claire Weekes is similarly available and just go through her book in a month or so, when what Sarno has written settles a bit. Then you'll be ready to try and attempt Journalspeak which takes about 20 minutes a day - but you don't even need to do it every day .... just a few times a week to start is OK.
I got very anxious too, and never knew why. I recently heard that your brain is getting overwhelmed with this responsibility to fix what you see is a "Problem". Dr. Sarno explains that it's not a problem - that your body is working as it should, sending you messages that you just need to listen to it, and recognize how your thoughts are influencing it's physiology.
Perhaps you can think about how anxiety inducing responsibility is to you, and where you learned to have these feelings and emotions about...and how you might think deep down inside about these responsibilities. How enraging it might be (you need to think of this deep down part as your inner tantruming 2 year old, because that's basically what the subconscious is) to have to do MORE when you'd really prefer to be doing (whatever else it is) and about all the other growing responsibilities you find yourself saddled with as you are getting older. You're at an age of big change. Think about how you view your ascent into adulthood, and how you perceive becoming an adult. Is it loaded with have-to's and "should's". There's so much loaded into this and these are great topics to take to your therapist too - any thoughts and values or beliefs you discover around this are excellent topics for ISF.

One thing I think many younger people, who've grown up with phone and and the ability to instantaneously fulfill desires or google "answers" find challenging with TMS is the idea of immediacy. Immediacy is loaded with stressors. This is old fashioned work, nothing is immediate, but also know that your state is temporary and you can overcome your symptoms.

Lastly, if you've never tried meditation - it is the ULTIMATE way to influence your nervous system.
 
sav5000 said:
I feel desperate to get the answers already
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I will be even more blunt than @Cactusflower and say that
1) desperation is completely counterproductive to recovery, and
2) you can't make progress if you haven't addressed your anxiety. Claire Weekes was the second book that saved me after I read The Divided Mind.

I also really appreciate how @Ybird pointed out that you're putting the cart in front of the horse, with these enormous expectations that talking your way out of your symptoms will eliminate them, before really addressing your emotional distress and repression.

While it is quite true that the self-talk cure can be effective for some people, it's often short-term even for those without significant emotional distress or trauma. It sounds like you've recognized that your particular situation does in fact call for therapy, and I absolutely 100% commend you for that realization and for taking action. My understanding is that IFS is particularly helpful for individuals with adverse childhoods and adult tms.

That being said, I'm going to suggest that you look at starting therapy as your chance to start this whole process fresh, with a different approach. Look at the self-talk tools you've been learning as something you'll be able to employ in the future as your new emotional baseline is established. In the meantime, concentrate on dealing with your anxiety, and also finding and opening up to the emotional vulnerability which will help you get deeper into your therapy. The emotional writing techniques taught by Nicole Sachs or in our Structured Educational Program will help.

Does that make sense?
 
@Cactusflower You are awesome, I greatly appreciate everything you wrote ❤️ Thank you so much. I have read one of Dr. Sarno's books a few years ago and it helped me a lot, so I will start the one you recommended today. I have been doing all this internal/mental/emotional work for literally years nonstop, which is why it's so frustrating and baffling to me that I'm still in this state, like I haven't done enough after all this time. But the materials you recommended seem great and I am committed to reading them. I appreciate your breaking them down and summarizing them as well because it makes it feel a little less overwhelming. Good to know that I'm on the right track with IFS too.

@JanAtheCPA Thank you for your comment!! Good points. Yes, that really does make sense. I keep rereading everyone's replies and it is helping me feel less alone in this and have more of a path to follow. I appreciate it ❤️
 
Can someone tell me what ISF stands for? It seems there are so many acronyms in mind body work that it’s hard to keep up.
Thanks
PS. Here’s something ironic. I tried to type “mindbody” above, like this. As in, one word. But the auto correct changed it to “mind body”. Even auto correct seems to think that the mind and body are separate :-)
 
nnelg said:
Even auto correct seems to think that the mind and body are separate
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OMG. Hilarious. Tragic, too and frustrating. Sigh.

IFS is a therapy called Internal Family Systems. And, I see that @sav5000 just answered that. I'll go ahead and elaborate.

IFS is particularly effective for TMS because our emotional functionality (or lack thereof) stems from the patterns laid down in childhood.

You know how in real estate, the mantra is "Location, location, location"?

Or, as often quoted and memorably depicted in the excellent cop/detective show Major Crimes: "It's always the husband, it's always the husband, it's always the husband" (sorry, husbands).

Well, in TMS, my personal belief (after doing this for a full 13 years and observing a LOT of conversations on this forum) is that it always goes back to childhood.
It always goes back to childhood.
It always goes back to childhood.

I don't care how functional and excellent anyone's childhood was (and mine was both of those things) childhood and family interactions and relationships and experiences, even from birth, possibly in-utero (such as my overly-anxious first-time mother) are going to be the original source of our TMS, whenever and however it emerges.
 
Hi, I am still in the same state unfortunately. Lot of always-alternating digestive issues every day that are still sometimes severe, with no correlation to any specific events/emotions. I am still doing lots of emotional work but am struggling to be okay with these symptoms in the meantime because they are so painful.
 
I once read that people with IBS experience more pain with the same amount of intestinal pressure as people without IBS. The feelings of pain are very real, but TMS is also very powerful.

Fear of the symptoms can drive them. Do you fully believe the symptoms are TMS? What are you afraid of?

My IBS symptoms were severe and out of control when sharing a bed with someone else. Then I’d sleep alone the next night and experience 90% less pain, flatulence, etc. I was so terrified of doing anything to look “unattractive” to this person that the symptoms went from manageable to total chaos. TMS in a nutshell.
 
All my digestive symptoms have gone away, was definitely TMS in my case, can eat anything and toilet habits have gone back to normal.

Im about 85% fully recovered, just got the remaining bit to go but excited for the future but remaining patient in that they will go away on their own!
 
Fal said:
All my digestive symptoms have gone away, was definitely TMS in my case, can eat anything and toilet habits have gone back to normal.

Im about 85% fully recovered, just got the remaining bit to go but excited for the future but remaining patient in that they will go away on their own!
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That is amazing, Fal! Remaining patient sounds very outcome independent and like you truly conquered all fear of the symptoms and eliminated any doubt they're TMS.

How was reintroducing foods for you?
 
I didn’t do it bit by bit, I just decided one day that I’m not restricting myself and that I’ve never had any issues prior to dealing with a lot of stress.

I made the same decision back in Feb that my body stiffness and apparent crps was TMS, upon believing and with help from Dan Buglios daily videos I have seen enough improvement that got me from 99 percent belief to 100 percent belief.

The calmness in my body now is amazing and I can now catch when a thought or action is triggering my fight or flight and now understand it without worrying.
 
I have gotten to the place where I do fully believe my symptoms are TMS. I am afraid of the pain/terrible discomfort above anything else. I know this is counterintuitive and have been trying to reassure myself with messages of safety to say that they are just sensations and are not dangerous or will turn into anything else, etc, but my mind is obsessive and anxious, so it’s hard to focus on much else when there’s pain.

Fal, that’s awesome, can you sum up what you did to help your recovery?

I also watch Dan Buglio and found him before finding the TMS forum. Then I overwhelmed/confused myself by the different methods. Dan’s approach is to not focus on the symptoms or causes, which feels simple and a relief for me. Much of what I read on this forum talks about needing to do emotional work first, which I know is the key for many people. I have done SO so much emotional work already, for years, and continuing throughout every day, all day pretty much lol, and it’s driving me crazy when my mind automatically tries to figure out what caused a random uptick in symptoms and connect it to an emotion/situation, when it never actually links to anything or resolves. It seems to put more importance on the emotions/thoughts, making them bigger than they are.

So I know the key for me is to step away from that a bit and not focus on the potential emotional causes as much outside of therapy, because I think the cause is mostly that I can’t help but focus on the symptoms because they are so uncomfortable (double-edge sword). I know tons of others have been able to overcome this, so that makes me feel even worse that I haven’t been able to yet. Any tips (other than trying to overcome that self-blame)? :)
 
Hi Sav! I have been dealing with very similar symptoms as yours with trapped gas. I recently learned about TMS so I don't really have a direct answer for you. However, I think it's okay if the pain or discomfort you are feeling has to be physically removed like gas or going to the bathroom. I think it's more important to just stay calm, relieve yourself, and to not panic. Trust me, I know it's easier said than done but I try to tell myself its temporary discomfort!
 
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