Day 9 Destructive thoughts

[Jackowska]

Hi Everyone,
Today@9th day of the program I've realized that I am not treating myself right. Talking to others I always tend to put myself down " I heve put on weight recently " or " Haven't had time to go to hairdressers that's why I look awful" or " I am so old" ect.ect.ect.! I do this all the time. I always have guilty thoughts about myself :" You have finished university and you haven't worked for the last 12 years" or " Your husband is working so hard and you are just sitting home with kids". Honestly need to change that and start loving myself.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Honestly need to change that and start loving myself.

This begins, and can only begin with the kind of painful awareness you're experiencing. This hurtful inner relationship has to be felt and seen in order for self-compassion to arise. It might help to write yourself a letter acknowledging how painful this can be, this habit.

It may be that you'll remember times as a child that you got these messages of judgement or rejection. This might bring more self-compassion.

It might also help to write a letter to your Inner Critic telling it that you don't need the "help" and to "back off."

Also, as you're aware of the negative self-treatment in the moment, you may correlate symptoms with this activity, or reduction of symptoms with reduction in Inner Critic activity--like when you're feeling happy and free for a few minutes. Helpful because you can see it is psychological.

Andy

 

[Jackowska]

Hi Andy,
Thank you very much for your help. It is difficult to deal with TMS in a country where no one has heard about it at all.
That is why I do appreciate your help.

Kasia