Deep Knowing & Hypnotherapy

M

mikeinlondon

Well known member
I finished Dan's book and I give it a 5* review. Dan is my Sarno v2.0 and whilst I may not be cured the book has provided me with much needed answers to my symptoms. Dan's video on 'Deep Knowing' hit me really hard this morning. It's when you feel a deep understanding of why and what happened to you (i.e. not just an intellectual understanding of what is happening). It dawned on me that my body is resilient and has an amazing power to heal itself. I'm nearly 50 and never had a serious illness like cancer, heart disease, ms etc. I've got colitis but even then I've never had major complications from it and, even then, I now believe a significant component of it is TMS from trauma. That hit me really hard i.e. my body is actually okay and is resilient. I also thought about what doctors told me i.e. you've just got anxiety, you are a hypochondriac etc. It never felt like a correct diagnosis as I do not worry or ruminate too much about future threats and neither do I worry too much about small symptoms here and there. I mean I do but not to the extent where it's taking over my life. I then thought about what Dan said about Fear and Perceived Danger. Fear isn't anxiety and I think medical doctors don't understand the difference between the two which confused me at the time. I realised that my first symptom was severe insomnia, something triggered it and it may have been a bad infection. The severe insomnia created severe fear then that fear snowballed overtime with other fears which then created more symptoms and thus more fear ... more drugs ... more withdrawals ... more fear then more symptoms then more fear ... the cycle continued. It then dawned on me this morning that the cause of all my CHRONIC ailments is FEAR (everything else like rage just compounds the issue). The acute root cause for the insomnia I'm certain has gone away and now I'm dealing with FEAR. I see it now ... I see FEAR as a cancer of the mind (the software) instead of the physical body. Bam, that hit hard. It hit hard because I never saw myself as a fearful kinda guy. I've hiked up dangerous mountains, I've snorkelled with dangerous fish, I've sailed in storms etc ... what me? Fearful? But then I realised each symptom that I experienced created such a fearful response ... the fear of being powerless against my symptoms which are very much real. It's not an anxiety i.e. I'm perceiving something dangerous right now (although it's not dangerous just very 'uncomfortable' to experience). I've started to use mechanisms now to reduce the fear response but I'm wondering ... I've heard that hypnotherapy can work on fear. Has anyone that you know of, including yourself, used hypnotherapy to reduce/eradicate fear based on false pretences? I'm not sure why Dan didn't mention hypnotherapy as a potential tool in his book. If hypnotherapy can reduce fear and less fear means less TMS and, as a consequence, less symptoms then that may aid recovery and healing.
 
Hi, Mike,
I love how you are piecing together your story. That’s exactly what I did this time, and it took me quite a while. It’s really a good feeling when it all comes together in clarity. I wanted to understand how I got to this place.

I don’t know how it makes you feel, but it makes me feel like my body isn’t my enemy after all. It just did the best it could with what was happening. It finally had to turn on the fire alarms— too much fire!

TMS is kind of a natural breaker system. When the system gets overloaded and overwhelmed, it forces you to change your life. And the changes you make you would’ve never made without the symptoms forcing you to do it. In that way, TMS is kind of a salvation. It locks you down until you figure out what’s hurting you. And that’s what you’re doing —figuring it out!

I don’t know anything about hypnotherapy. Maybe it’s good? If you try it, let us know. You might want to also explore meditation. There are so many ways to do it. Over time, it has a huge impact.

Years ago I had the worst issue with panic. It was so bad I was trapped in the house— and even in the house, I was terrified of my next panic attack. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to live. Call it divine intervention or what you will, something prompted me to try meditation. I had no idea how to do it— I just sat quietly every day, closed my eyes and tried to quiet down. Every time a thought came into my head, I would just gently push it back and try to have no thoughts.

After a while, I started meditating on an image. I would picture I was way up in the hills over Bethlehem on the night Jesus was born. To me, that’s a very holy night and it gave me such a good feeling to meditate on this image. I made the sky a brilliant navy blue with stars twinkling. I had angels in the distance, and I was quietly with the shepherds. I could smell the fresh winter air. I could see the sheep all around me. It was like a beautiful virtual Christmas card!

I ended up meditating for a year, actually more than a year. As the year progressed, I was able to meditate longer and longer. I went from 10 minutes a day to two times a day— often 30 minutes each. By the end of the year, I could easily meditate for an hour— and looked forward to it. I used it as a kind of drug. It was very soothing and calmed me down. It also made me feel better when I was sad or depressed. But the biggest thing it did is it cured me of the anxiety and the panic. No more panic attacks!

Meditating takes a lot of discipline and you also need to have a quiet space alone to do this. I really should consider doing this again. I know it can really bring down the fear. Maybe you’d like to try it? I’ll join you if you want!

Onward and upward, brother!
 
Last edited:
I think fear and anxiety are so interlinked because they both put that nervous system in fight/flight.
I’ve also found fear similar to anxiety in that it is a default coping mechanism to keep us “safe” and small.
It is also similar to anxiety in that it is more about thought than emotion though fear often covers up rage (coping mechanism) and has a close relation to shame and/or guilt. I’ve been overcoming fear by recognizing that like an emotion, it has physical sensations I’ve judged as unpleasant, and simply tried to quickly get rid of -avoid, repress etc. so feeling those sensations and simply letting them be has gone far in overcoming fear. So is acknowledging it, accepting it with curiosity “owning” it.
Early on I asked a friend about hypnotherapy (she is one) but she said it’s very specific so you need to tackle each individual fear in a series of sessions.
I went the EMDR route, which has some similarities to hypnosis but is far more generalized over time. It works best a few weeks to months after treatment ends and your brain, subconscious (or whatever) can sort things out and fear seems to fade somewhat. Triggers become less intense.
 
Last edited:
Cactusflower said:
I think fear and anxiety are so interlinked because they both put that nervous system in fight/flight.
I’ve also found fear similar to anxiety in that it is a default coping mechanism to keep us “safe” and small.
It is also similar to anxiety in that it is more about thought than emotion though fear often covers up rage (coping mechanism) and has a close relation to shame and/or guilt. I’ve been overcoming fear by recognizing that like an emotion, it has physical sensations I’ve judged as unpleasant, and simply tried to quickly get rid of -avoid, repress etc. so feeling those sensations and simply letting them be has gone far in overcoming fear. So is acknowledging it, accepting it with curiosity “owning” it.
Early on I asked a friend about hypnotherapy (she is one) but she said it’s very specific so you need to tackle each individual fear in a series of sessions.
I went the EMDR route, which has some similarities to hypnosis but is far more generalized over time. It works best a few weeks to months after treatment ends and your brain, subconscious (or whatever) can sort things out and fear seems to fade somewhat. Triggers become less intense.
Click to expand...

What worked best for you for fear? Is it allowing the emotion (feeling it/owning it/accepting it) AND EMDR? Is there anything else? I try to send genuine messages of safety to my brain with the hope that it will feel that I'm not in present danger.
 
mikeinlondon said:
What worked best for you for fear? Is it allowing the emotion (feeling it/owning it/accepting it) AND EMDR? Is there anything else? I try to send genuine messages of safety to my brain with the hope that it will feel that I'm not in present danger.
Click to expand...

What works best has been giving it time.
I was in extreme fear, because the first round of this particular brand of TMS had me bed ridden and giving hideous outcomes many years ago. So when it returned (when internal stress built up again), I was terrified. So it's taken and taking me a long time to chill out. I've been having a flair up, and it's an opportunity to work with the fear again, which I am actually not afraid of.
EMDR worked well for me personally because I recognized having life long fears since I was 6, that are unrelated to symptoms but are TMS. That is anxiety which, I never fully recognized. I think it's important to be able to see that and own it. Fear is just part of the anxiety, and frankly, I suspect you have a level of anxiety you're probably so used to, it seems normal to you - it's become your baseline. I think that's pretty typical of TMS personality folks....and it's not to be feared! (and I could be totally wrong, but judging from posts you've written, I suspect it's true).
What worked for me was first recognizing that I was fearing the physical sensations of fear. So I would just take a few minutes per day and sit with them, much like sitting with an emotion. This took me months and didn't stop while going through this process. I needed to retrain my brain to begin to chill on initial fears so I could begin teaching it what was a "real" fear and what Dan B. calls a "perceived" fear.

It was then, once I began sensing the physical sensations I began to take a breath when they arrived. It's a pause so I could learn to respond instead of react to them. I wanted to break the fear of the fear and show myself that I had a choice.

Once I noticed the sensations and could take that little pause, I could then tell myself STOP when I had thoughts associated with the fear. I could recognize the OCD like quality of those thoughts and "forcefully" (but with kindness) turn my attention elsewhere. I'm still in this process, daily. It's just that instead of doing this 1,000 times a day for two years I do it maybe 20 times a day now. This is absolutely where patience and kindness come in, and decided to stop worring about timelines and "fixing" and doing things right. This is subtle, because you don't want to put up your dukes and fight with yourself to barrel through symptoms, but over time I stopped overthinking or overly re-assuring safety because after awhile, you realize you're just focusing on the symptoms when you do this, but again, you start by giving yourself messages of safety, and you work towards ACTING like you are safe. I gradually stopped self-talk, and the STOP method for fear of symptoms. I use STOP for fear of other stuff now. When I have a flair, I can bring back self-talk and STOP for a time to get back to the level of confidence I want to have.

The STOP method makes it sound like I'm sort of pushing away or repressing the fear, but I'm not. I feel it and allow it all but don't allow my myself to think the thoughts around the fear.

Does this help?

As for EMDR - that helped me with a life of fears. In the subconscious they are a jumble without any time table, and utilizing TMS work (I did the SEP and worked with the fear) and the same time I was doing EMDR helped my brain file and organize that deep stuff. After each session, when my therapist asked me to chill out and relax, I'd go do something I was afraid of...
 
mikeinlondon said:
What worked best for you for fear? Is it allowing the emotion (feeling it/owning it/accepting it) AND EMDR? Is there anything else? I try to send genuine messages of safety to my brain with the hope that it will feel that I'm not in present danger.
Click to expand...
Mike,
Helmut has a great technique. He says to do this daily:
  1. Spend 1 hour a day bathing your nervous system in dopamine. He does this with an hour of meditating on a great memory, in elaborate detail. Or, of the future great life that you want, in great detail.
  2. Welcome your fear like an expected guest. Tell it to come on in and stay a while; “have tea with it.”
  3. Then, daily, do something scary or hard despite the fear. Tell your fear, “I’m going to do such and such. You can come along.”
  4. Be a “safety tour guide” to your TMS brain. SHOW it that things are safe by doing them. Talk to your brain and say, “See? This is safe.”
  5. After a while (who knows how long. It’s different for everyone) your TMS brain will recalibrate what it thinks is scary. Each time you challenge with an activity, you are reprogramming your brain to accept more things as safe. He calls it “an exorcism.”
This process worked to get rid of his 70 symptoms over a two-and-a-half year timeframe. He said all hell broke loose before then. New symptoms—some moving around—some getting worse. But none of that was an indication of how close he was to healing.

This video rambles a bit, but it explains it. Start at the beginning: (I’ve listened to this about 10 times!)

https://www.youtube.com/live/pMPl55WKF28?si=b_cFivPyDT2p5fPR
 
Last edited:
Cactusflower said:
What worked for me was first recognizing that I was fearing the physical sensations of fear. So I would just take a few minutes per day and sit with them, much like sitting with an emotion.
Click to expand...
Cactusflower said:
I wanted to break the fear of the fear and show myself that I had a choice.
Click to expand...
Cactusflower said:
you start by giving yourself messages of safety, and you work towards ACTING like you are safe
Click to expand...
Great, Cactus! Love this! These are my favorite quotes.
 
Cactusflower said:
Ohhh, so right. Vulnerability! Ooof!
Click to expand...
Indeed, Cactus. The Insomnia made me experience vulnerability so severely as I had no control over sleep + no doctor could help. I indeed felt powerless.
BTW with the fears and anxieties that you experienced, were you able to sleep or did it not affect you when in bed? I feel fear when lying in bed, especially in the morning, but I don’t know exactly what I’m fearful of. It’s just the emotion without an associated thought like “oh, I see a bear, run!”. I know the fear is in the mind and it’s TMS but I still feel vulnerable about it.
 
mikeinlondon said:
Indeed, Cactus. The Insomnia made me experience vulnerability so severely as I had no control over sleep + no doctor could help. I indeed felt powerless.
BTW with the fears and anxieties that you experienced, were you able to sleep or did it not affect you when in bed? I feel fear when lying in bed, especially in the morning, but I don’t know exactly what I’m fearful of. It’s just the emotion without an associated thought like “oh, I see a bear, run!”. I know the fear is in the mind and it’s TMS but I still feel vulnerable about it.
Click to expand...

Morning anxiety was strong, and with this weeks flair, it returned.
Please know that fear is not really an emotion. Like anxiety, it’s a state. Emotions flow through the body, where as states eg. Depression, fear, anxiety tend to get stuck hence the term “living in fear” or “being in a state of depression”. Stuckness makes us think of helplessness. However, fear can also be allowed to flow through us if we treat it like an emotion.. probably because it’s so associated with underlaying rage, shame etc.
I don’t fight the anxiety. I recognize the fears, and literally label them as “thoughts” notice how they make me feel: tense, maybe buzzy, maybe wanting to hide and notice that anxiety and move along with my day. I don’t dwell much during the most challenging times of the day.
You asked about insomnia. At first I slept a lot, but lightly. I’ve spent much time in my life running on very little sleep due to work. Now I can have insomnia but it isn’t a stressor for me, it doesn’t worry me so it hasn’t become a TMS symptom. Definitely a function of anxiety but it’s not chronic and I don’t hyper focus. Seems like the mind can pick and choose where we’ll pay the most attention.
 
Last edited:
mikeinlondon said:
change memories of being powerless to that of being in power.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing, @mikeinlondon!
And, it sounds like, from your other post this morning, that you're welcoming and moving into that shift in perception!
That, in and of itself, is so powerful!

I've often found it so helpful to really lean into those kinds of powerful shifts in self-perception (and as mentioned there is substantial research to support actual physiological/neurological effects of this).
How do you see yourself if you were "being in power?"
What does that YOU do differently? You had quite a vivid picture of how you saw yourself before and how you see yourself now.
What is your life like in that "future" vision -- the one who is the "CEO of me"?

Looking forward to hearing more as you keep taking the next steps on this journey and grateful you're sharing your insights and experiences with all of us!
 
NewBeginning said:
Thanks for sharing, @mikeinlondon!
And, it sounds like, from your other post this morning, that you're welcoming and moving into that shift in perception!
That, in and of itself, is so powerful!

I've often found it so helpful to really lean into those kinds of powerful shifts in self-perception (and as mentioned there is substantial research to support actual physiological/neurological effects of this).
How do you see yourself if you were "being in power?"
What does that YOU do differently? You had quite a vivid picture of how you saw yourself before and how you see yourself now.
What is your life like in that "future" vision -- the one who is the "CEO of me"?

Looking forward to hearing more as you keep taking the next steps on this journey and grateful you're sharing your insights and experiences with all of us!
Click to expand...
Those are great questions. I guess I have always blamed the body for being weak and the culprit of my ills. Sort of like a scapegoat in an abusive system. The Deep Knowing that my body is resilient and can heal coupled with the fact that it is the mind (my psychologist calls it the blueprint) that can cause chronic physiological ills, distress and symptoms has changed my world view. Knowledge is power as they say and I have apologised to my body today for being harsh and critical to it for so many years. That is the difference in my mentality. As CEO I see me (the “I” leading both the body and the mind, all as partners and with respect to each other. That is how I want it to be ie to be at peace with each other. A loving and functional relationship where we can all thrive. It’s not going to be easy as my symptoms have increased in severity in the last day or two but I will persevere. I also realised I was never fearless because, as Dan says, bravery happens in fear not the absence of fear. All the challenging things I’ve ever done in life were fearful to others but they were never fearful to me! That’s not really bravery. Being brave is allowing fear, to sit with it and feel it power but not feel powerless against it. I think this is the essence of what Cactus was saying to me or to sit with the fear and allow it to float and be okay with it.
 
“Bravery can only be felt while there’s fear. “ Nice! I like it! As I increase movement — I’m having to increase mental toughness. I’m having to fake like I LIKE the pain. (Time to do the dishes! Yay!!!! Let’s do them!!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!! Smile :) LOVING THIS!!!)
 
Last edited:
Diana-M said:
Time to do the dishes! Yay!!!! Let’s do them!!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Just a reminder of what Chade-Meng Tan advised in his book Joy on Demand as I think it might help. Before I do most chores, particularly those I find physically painful and therefore often quite daunting, I say to myself, for example, "now I get to... do the dishes", and it really helps lift me and makes approaching the task and then actually doing it easier mentally and sometimes even slightly easier physically because of that little bit of a lift I've given myself (albeit I may not exactly feel 'joy' about it!).

"When you say 'I get to' instead of 'I have to,' you shift from a mindset of burden to one of gratitude and possibility. This simple change opens your heart and makes even mundane tasks a source of joy." - Chade-Meng Tan, Joy on Demand
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top