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Dealing with emotions or retraining the brain?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by everlong, Dec 21, 2015.

  1. everlong

    everlong New Member

    You read a lot of information about TMS are you suppose to deal with the emotions and let go to heal or retrain the brain, surely the underlying cause will always be there if you carry on doing normal things, what are you suppose to do?
  2. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Everlong,

    The answer to your question is, you cannot retrain your brain without understanding or working through your emotions.

    I remember listening to a podcast a few months ago which said that approx. 85% of our thoughts are based on preconceived ideas, ie ideas that we have made up and may not happen.

    Our tenancy to gravitate towards the 'worse case' scenario gives us a false sense of belief that we are becoming better at reacting to life / situations which we believe could prove be a threat. When in fact, on a deeper, subconscious level, it's not helping, but in fact its having a huge impact on our thinking and physiology. The more we think negative, the more we will automatically do so.

    That said, not everybody who has recovered from TMS has had to resolve their emotions. But, by simply understanding a conflict exists between ones ID and Superego, has been enough for one to heal.

    The likes of journalling and mindfullness are fantastic tools that one can utilise to understand obsessive thinking. The more we practice being in tune with ourselves, the greater insight we develop the more measures we can put in place to change our behaviour and create new healthy pathways.

    You've also stated:

    surely the underlying cause will always be there if you carry on doing normal things, what are you suppose to do?

    The underlying cause may well be there, but armed with the insight gained from journalling and meditation we can become better at being aware of our emotions and not judge or react. The more often we do this the greater space we create between ourself and the cause/threat which may or may not be a real threat.

    I hope this helped.
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
    everlong likes this.
  3. everlong

    everlong New Member

    Thanks that really helpful, i have OCD too so obsessive thoughts is just my normal thinking patterns daily however i know that i need retrain my mind in order to stop thinking the worst, thanks
    hecate105 likes this.
  4. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you started one of the Free programs on the site? You may wish to look into the SEP or Alan Gordons program.

    I think obsessive thinking is a common trait amongst us Tmsers, the idea is to not become too overwhelmed with the work but to work through it at a pace which doesn't disrupt you.

    If I were you, I'd also explore both mindfulness and mindfullness meditation to help you work through your OCD habits.

    hecate105 likes this.
  5. hecate105

    hecate105 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Everlong, if you go to the top of this page and click on THE TMS WIKI and then on the left side you will see a list of programs
    the Structured Educational Programme is incredibly useful and really is the best place to start. Just get a pad of paper, sit down and click on Day 1 - as you progress thru the course you will find it 'leads' you to what you need to address. You also have the entire forum as support... good luck.
  6. blake

    blake Well known member

    Hi Everlong,
    I like your question and you've gotten some really great answers.
    Here's my 2 cents: I do both. I deal with emotions, feel them thoroughly, go back to them as long as they come up. Then, at one point, there is a natural shift to something else and I know I'm done. At that point, if I start to ruminate again about the same problem, I remind myself that's it's over, it's in the past - that's the retraining part for me. Even after I've dealt with something, I will keep the habit of going back to it for some reason, which is why I do that cognitive work of telling myself to shift my attention elsewhere. Eventually I can release it altogether.

    But I have never been able to retrain my thinking without the feeling work first. Some people are able to just use affirmations and change their thinking. Not me. But just to let you know there are many options out there.
  7. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    affirmations dont work unless they are believable to your brain anything else is repression
  8. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

  9. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Good question and I've given that some thought. A feeling of depression and / or anxiety can cause pain. Similary, having pain can also lead to depression and anxiety. They can pretty much feed one another.
    blake likes this.
  10. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    i agree its what cane first the egg or the chicken
  11. inymyfruitcup

    inymyfruitcup New Member

    I like what you've said here, and while I've yet to master it myself, it just makes sense.

    I'm going to keep this in mind.
    blake likes this.
  12. blake

    blake Well known member

    On the topic of affirmations, if they fall into the wrong hands - the hands of my inner critic that is - they are just one more thing that ends up putting pressure on me and causing tension, which fuels my symptoms. For example, if I am feeling depressed and I affirm something like "I am happy and serene" my inner critic can use that against me by saying I am a failure because I am not serene. When I become aware of this, I give that critical voice the boot the best I can.

    On the question of depression, I'm not sure about the theory of it all, but in my case, the depression came first and I did not heed its call. I did not stop putting pressure on myself, in fact, I continued to put even more pressure to make myself do things. After many years of that, I developed physical symptoms, which I could no longer ignore. But I'm not sure it's necessary to know exactly which came first. The source is the same: I treated myself badly, I got symptoms. I'm learning to treat myself better and both the depression and pain are starting to lift... very gradually after many, many months of tms work.
  13. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    your post makes a lot of sense i depressed for a long time while in my terrible marriage that i am ending ..but i was depressed for years before my pain came know that i think of it
  14. blake

    blake Well known member

    What I have found interesting in my journey is that my reaction to my tms is a exactly the same as my reaction to any other problem in life - I get depressed, overwhelmed, angry, etc. So learning to deal better with tms-related emotions by being nicer to myself, processing the feelings in a gentle way, not being obsessed with the problem, has value for all areas of my life.

    But yes, tms has caused feelings of depression, but only because I already handled things in that way. I guess this is why many people who have healed say their tms was a blessing.

    And Marco, I'm glad you are out of your terrible marriage. Detaching both physically and emotionally from people who are not good for us is difficult, but necessary.
    Ellen likes this.
  15. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    i agree with tms causing depression and your right we need to be gentle on our selves no question ... the meditating the journaling which i do no more than 20 for both...i find it enough before i was loosing my mind about know its just part of my morning like brushing my teeth. i am starting a antidepressant this evening i am tapering of my pain meds that are not helping plus i cant take full dose . i am going to try it and not judge
    blake likes this.
  16. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Marco. I agree that spending too much time thinking about the TMS emotional causes of our pain can be stressful or even depressing. I try to spend 15 or 20 minutes on that and then find ways to enjoy my day. Good luck with the antidepressant and tapering off your pain meds.

    You might find this article on calming techniques helpful:

    Calming Techniques That Help With Stress, Anxiety
    By Kim Tranell

    We asked top meditation and mindfulness pros for their best on-the-spot, do-anywherecalming techniques-- because who has time for chanting "om" when you're about to lose it?

    1. Count Your Breaths
    Best For: Surviving Red-Alert Emergencies
    When it comes to calming down, deep breathing is still the place to start. "By forcing yourself to breathe as you do in your most relaxed moments, you trick your body into releasing calming neurohormones, causing a biological shift in how you feel," says psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek, a leader in the field of guided imagery. "Just inhale and feel your abdomen expand. Go as slowly as possible, counting in -- 1-2-3. Then, observe the turn of your breath, and breathe it out -- 1-2-3. Whether you do this for one minute or five, it's going to bring you to a calmer place."

    2. Be Here Now
    Best For: Combating Worst-Case-Scenario Anxiety
    "Our minds are constantly in the past or the future -- we'll ruminate on what's too late to change or catastrophize about what hasn't happened yet," says Diana Winston, a director at the UCLAMindfulAwarenessResearchCenter and coauthor ofFully Present. "But the more you practice coming back to the present, the less anxious you'll feel. For example, when I wash dishes, instead of letting my mind wander to all my worries, I really try to show up and pay attention to the sensations of the task -- the water, the heat, the plate in my hand. Eyes open or closed okay.”

    3. Flex And Release
    Best For: Letting Go Of Work Tension
    "Start by clenching the muscles in your forehead and face as you take a breath and hold it for a moment," says Nina Smiley, Ph.D., coauthor ofThe Three Minute Meditator. "As you release the tension, exhale fully and relax. Work your way down your body, repeating the process. The tightening and releasing is a physical cue to the body to let stress go."
  17. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    thx you Walt for all your kind thoughts and post they are always welcoming.

    Merry Xmas

  18. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Merry Christmas to you, too, Marco.

    Raining here in Chicago, so no white Christmas, but no snow shoveling either!
  19. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member

    same here 70 tomm love it .... god bless
    riv44 likes this.

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