day 9 : critical of myself?

[karinabrown]

Day 9: are you lately being critical of yourself '?

well :forget about lately..that was always there..
but when thinking about this question i realized
that trying to embrace the TMS diagnosis brought on critizing myself
I thought about a female therapist i saw last year
she is a psychosomatic PT: in our latest contact she said:
"I wonder if you are your own worst enemy"
well it sounds pretty nasty and it was : i was a bit angry and upset after that
but to be completely honest: i was mostly scared she could be right.
she was not a nasty woman and she meant well..
(too bad that she also said that the footpain in her opion was not psychological
,she did not know what it was , but she never heard of footpain being a mind thing..
so again room for doubting there for me)

Now finding out about tms, and reading etc
this is sort of a "thing " : If i have TMS then its true: i am the problem
then it means this pain is coming from "me'
that is strangly confusing : it feels like failure..it is scarry and also i feel shame
then it is all to blame on myself. ofcourse not conscious i get that. But still
it is coming from a part of me.

Karina

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Karina. Your psychosomatic PT needs to learn about TMS and MindBody in general.
But she probably is right that you are your own worst enemy. You are bullying yourself and your self-anger is causing your foot pain. You are internally angry about some thing or things. The SEProgram will help you to bring those things to your conscious mind and that will end your foot pain.

Sometimes we blame others for our feelings of anger or anxiety. Sometimes it's our own doing, mostly from misunderstanding.

You have come to the right place to heal yourself. I wouldn't spend any more time or money on outside help. It's within you to heal. Sure, we wish a doctor would find something wrong with us, like your feet. It's easier to take a pill, but hat may at best only relieve pain or mask it, for while. To heal completely and for good, it will take some thinking and changing your mind about things, or just accepting them. Tough love from me? Probably, but I think you are strong enough to take it and afterwards will enjoy health and happiness like you never dreamed possible. TMS leads us to discover ourselves and learn that we are a lot nicer and better than we think we are.

Don't think you are a failure. Life led you to TMS and is challenging you to discover your true self, which is a terrific person. I know you would come here to Chicago and shovel my snow, if you knew my address.

 

[karinabrown]

hi walt,

once again you made me laugh outloud!
i surely can take the toughlove..
it is clear to me i have a lot of emotions
about a couple of things..mostly fear
but angry i am mostly about not being able to go on a simple walk with my dog ..if that's my own doing..i just don't get that
asume more digging to do

laughing about the snow shufling : i bet you need much stronger person who is s lot mobiler than i am..but like you already so much i would have tried it!

karina