Day 8 DAY 8 and finding it unbelievably hard

[speedysel]

Not going too well at all. I accept that my symptoms are TMS and yet I have a massive problem not thinking about the physical symptoms....my brain sends me constant messages of stretch this muscle, check your posture, lie down flat etc I have alot of muscle tension especially in the chest, neck, head region which is very hard to just "switch off". My most difficult symptom is insomnia. No idea why but I just can´t fall to sleep some nights at all....it makes me tired, inactive and through inactivity I concentrate on my symptoms again....crazy....I do really have the feeling of being on a hamster wheel. It doesn´t help I suppose that I have relationship problems and my husband still lives in the house but Dr Sarno mentions that you don´t have to eradicate the stress factor, it´s enough to just recognise it. It´s not a situation that I can change in the near future anyway.

 

[samantha]

It's very difficult not to obsess about your symptoms. You're only on day 8. Give yourself some grace through all of this. I certainly couldn't reverse 8 years of conditioning in the first few weeks of the program. Meditation, reading materials, all help to bring us to a better place. My favorite and most helpful book was Scott Brady's: "Pain Free for Life" He gives step by step, easy directions to make the mind/body connection necessary to break the pain cycle. Hope you find peace and strength through this process!

 

[speedysel]

Hi Samantha,
Thanks very much for your feedback. I know I´m only on Day 8. Patience doesn´t seem to be one of my strongest virtues. After another sleep deprived night I feel tired, my muscle tension is at a high and I have doubts surfacing again - Something like: Must be a structural abnormality that no doctor has found yet....it´s all too extreme (I know that alot of TMS sufferers experience this as well)! On the other side I know that I´m dealing with ALOT of repression of emotions which I´m convinced are causing the symptoms as well. I seem to be in a tug-of-war inside my own head. It´s mega frustrating. There doesn´t seem to be any part of my body that is actually relaxed....although I do breathing exercises. On an intellectual level I know that all muscle tension is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and that every time I try and do Qigong or other exercises to test my body and confirm that I´m out of alignment that I´m sending messages to my brain. I also know that yesterday I had tension dancing around my body changing positions screaming for my conscious attention. Possibly I try too hard....that´s my personality and hard to turn off as well. I know alot of people on this forum have been through the same and I appreciate the support immensely. I think I would have given up already had this forum not existed.

 

[Dahlia]

Hi Slowena. If your entire nervous system is cranked up to "high" because of what you have been through, it may take some time for your body to adjust. So I echo Samantha's advice to try to give yourself the time. Perhaps settling down might be a good first step. There are many tools mentioned in the forum here that might be useful to you for just bringing your whole system down into a deeper and deeper states of relaxation and calm.
It was surprising to me to discover that it was not a prerequisite for the pain to go away before I could relax. It was so interesting to discover that relaxing helped everything else. Slowing your nervous system should help your sleep as well.
So as I said earlier, look around this site for tools for breathing techniques (a great place to start), mindfulness and meditation practices. If you're having trouble focusing enough to get these to work, try a recording that will guide you and which will help bring your focus back where you want it.

Be gentle with yourself. Hang in there. Everything can change for you in time. It did for me!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Deep breathing, mindfulness (living in the present), and meditation are all so very important in
TMS healing. Don't try to master them too fast. They take time. I like this video for
meditation and exercise:

 

[speedysel]

Thanks Walt & Dahlia, My subconscious seems to be putting up a massive fight. Another night of no sleep...CRAZY! I haven´t had it this bad for a long long time. Looks like I´m on the right path but my goodness I don´t understand why it has got so bad. It´s very hard for me to do the meditation with movement Walt. I feel like my whole body is working against me....every muscle tense.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Slowena, I don't think meditation and exercise work for some people, maybe most.

I had trouble sleeping last night too. Maybe it was the barometric pressure all around outside
because we had severe thunderstorm warnings for the Chicago area
and ten tornadoes sighted in the Midwest. I shouldn't have watched the Weather Channel
but was curious about the weather.

I usually try to unwind an hour or two before bedtime and watch some nature or animal stuff on tv.

My mind was too active for sleep and yours might have been, too.

I finally got to sleep by deep breathing and telling myself my favorite mantra:
"Every day in every way I'm getting better and better."
I repeat it 25 times in my mind. It usually works and I doze off.