Day 54 - Returning to work

Free of Fear

Free of Fear

Well known member
Hi everyone,

I want to post my progress. It is day 54 (had to do the math!) since I accepted my situation as TMS. The recovery has been great. Now, I'm no book cure - at my best I had 80% relief for a week or so, but have run into a stubborn symptom imperative. But I have many pain free moments throughout the day. I also ran one mile today (two half miles with walking in between), which I never thought I'd do again.

The big news: I accepted a new job at my old company! I will be working with elementary kids, and am very very excited, as it's the job I wanted to take next. I'm ready to soak in all that kid love too :)
AND I'm obsessing over what could go wrong, what if the pain returns, what if sitting hurts, etc. etc. etc. It's a real test of everything I've learned. I start the job in two weeks, so I have this time (for better or worse!) to get ready.

Sometimes I notice myself feeling shame for not being symptom free by now. So I remind myself that reading TMS success stories is not for competition but for encouragement.

I'm also learning of the power of affirmations and visualization. I'm blown away by how powerful affirmations can be. I'll say "I'm free of pain. My back feels great" and I feel my body relax and sometimes I even feel the pain melting away (something I'd heard others say but NEVER thought I'd experience).

Anyway, that's where I am! I'll keep posting along the way, in hopes that someone finds something useful here.

Thank you all for your encouragement along the way. This website was the biggest turning point in my recovery and I'm forever grateful.
 
Don't waste your time feeling shame. It's a pointless emotion.
You're doing great. I just wanted to congratulate you on your new job.
It will probably help you get to a full healing. Kids know how to absorb the attention!

best to you.
 
I am so happy for your progress!!! As MW suggests, the job will probably help you forward. As we become more active and involved in life, it sends a powerful signal to the mind-body that we are OK, and don't need symptoms. If some symptoms return, use your self-reassurance, as you suggest. And don't beat yourself up. None of this is "linear." And Kid Love is the best!! (I was a school teacher for a long time.)
 
Hey, Free of Fear - congratulations! :)

Especially as it's your absolute dream job, I think you'll be so involved and in the 'flow' of it all that your brain will get the message that you're happy and it has nothing to protect you from. My mother was an elementary school teacher for many years and got such a lot of joy from her work with the kids in her charge...

"Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible." - Eckhart Tolle.

Free of Fear said:
I'm also learning of the power of affirmations and visualization. I'm blown away by how powerful affirmations can be. I'll say "I'm free of pain. My back feels great" and I feel my body relax and sometimes I even feel the pain melting away (something I'd heard others say but NEVER thought I'd experience).
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Fabulous! Good ol' ACE1 - I too have been finding that he was dead right about affirmations :) :)
 
Thank you everyone! Each response was very meaningful for me, and helping me to see work as an opportunity and not a threat.

And yes Bloodmoon, ACE1 nailed it. I'm printing out their tips to have on hand to read.
 
Free of fear,

I am childcare provider for two boys three and five. Last spring I realized I have always had a lot of anxiety. A few months ago I realized I didn't have anxiety when I was with them. This has helped me with how I am "being" when I'm not with them. It has been really good!

Lizzy
 
Free of Fear said:
Haha that is funny. I even thought of getting mine laminated.
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Excellent idea! :) Call me crazy, but something else I was actually thinking of doing is writing the salient points and affirmations on some small revision cards held together on a key ring, so that I can whip them out from my pocket or bag and read them when I'm waiting in line or whatever.
 
Lizzy said:
I am childcare provider for two boys three and five. Last spring I realized I have always had a lot of anxiety. A few months ago I realized I didn't have anxiety when I was with them. This has helped me with how I am "being" when I'm not with them. It has been really good!
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Children kind of make you 'forget yourself', don't they? I think it's because they live so much 'in the moment' and that makes us do the same. :)
 
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Lizzy said:
Bloodmoon, I love that idea!!
Lizzy
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I think I'm going to do those cards! :) I'm going to include inspirational/helpful quotations from other people too to include some from people on this forum that really 'spoke' to me - You're on the list of my favourites that I saved:
"Habits are hard to break, but..... Instead of trying to stop old ways forgive yourself and work gently on new ways. It is easier to replace." - Lizzy
 
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Bloodmoon,

They do make me forget myself and its so good to see everything through the eyes of children. They're excited by new things and then I get excited too.

Aww, you really touched me by being one you choose to quote!
Lizzy
 
Lizzy said:
Aww, you really touched me by being one you choose to quote!
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I greatly appreciate your postings, Lizzy - You get right to the nub of things in a very clear and accessible way and often add a twist of something extra that has never occurred to me before.
 
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