Day 5 - HELP!! I can't move!

[Cat Lady 13]

So here it is day 5 and I am laying in bed this morning unable to move due to severe back spasms in my left lower back. This happened about 10 days ago when I attended the first Saturday chat. I know even more now that this is TMS. I know I have been admitting some of my deepest thoughts to myself. I journaled for quite a while and I am trying to talk myself through this episode but not having much luck. I had to call in sick. Any help is appreciated.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

When in severe pain such as you are having this morning, it can help if you keep your mind focused on deep breathing.
Inhale through the nose to the count of 4, hold the breath to 7 (I open my mouth here), then exhale through the mouth to the count of 8, making a "woosh" sound. Then tell yourself you are not in pain. Repeat this 4 times. You can do this more often during the day or night. Don't be discouraged. Dr. Sarno says pains can be more severe when our subconscious starts to "get it," that we are discovering and feeling the emotions causing the pain. It's also okay to use some medication to relieve pain. Tylenol is a good one. And I also suggest you use Voltaren Gel on any painful part of the body. It relieves pain fast. You can't get it over the counter, so you need your doctor to prescribe it. Believe me, it works.
Keep a tube handy by your bedside if you have need for it during the night or in the morning.

 

[Cat Lady 13]

Thank you Walt. I was able to finally get up and take some ibuprofen which helped. I cautiously made it into work a couple hours late.

Before I managed to get up my husband came in to see why I was not at work. He felt bad for me but was dealing with his own issues as always. You may recall from my previous threads that he has a severe anxiety disorder and has been on disability for 20 years.

I know I am getting to the real pain causing emotions and they have to do with my situation at the moment. I am my husbands caretaker and there is nobody to take care of me.

Now that our son is married and on his own I can't focus on just him anymore. It was a good distraction for many years. We are good parents in spite of our own issues and we raised a wonderful son. We are NOT helicopter parents and let him live his life. But that means we have to live ours too.

I feel trapped because of my husbands situation and I journaled about this this morning even while I was having the back spasms.

I am afraid of the future when my husband loses his disability income at 65 and will just have social security. This will happen in a year and a half. I feel like it's all up to me and I can't talk to him about it.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I'm glad some Ibuprofen helped. If it was Advil, I've read that Tylenol is better for back ache.
You're worried about your husband's disability income ending in a year and a half and he will only have Social Security.
I mainly live on my SS and it isn't much, but I've survived. Try not to think about the future. Live in the present moment and you and your husband both should be thankful that you have each other. You are going to overcome your TMS. Remind yourself of that.