So, yeah, I made it! I learned so much since I started to explore TMS and I finally accepted that my pain is not structural, even though my mind sometimes want's to play tricks on me to think the opposite. My worst pain didn't go away but I have seen improvement and my pain level is like a roller coaster (evidence). I realized that journaling is not my cup of tea and feeling emotions/staying with them probably works the best for me. I'm trying to rewire my way of a thinking. There are some things that I'm still trying to figure out, but I already know so much and I'm hoping that with this knowledge one day I will beat this! Also advices from former TMS sufferers on this forum helped me tremendously!