Day 4

I've had a doctor and a PT both say things to me that have been sooo unhelpful. A neurosurgeon told me not to bend, lift, or twist. Ummmmm.... that got under my helmet.

A PT told me I had SI dysfunction and told me about her own 7 year battle with it and how I had a very long journey ahead of me. Sooooo scary and SO in my head. Thanks lady.

I'm on day four and still working. I woke up last night with horrible aching in both legs......what? From just laying there?? Makes no sense, which is good, TMS is making mistakes.

I'm just inches away I think from truly having a breakthrough and beating this thing. My intellectual brain doesn't want to give up and keeps questioning, which is holding me back.

I've reached out to try and get a therapist to do weekly work. I think there are lots of emotions and I could use the support. I'm journaling and reading. And saying affirmations. And this week is every so much better than last week when I was in such a negative, fearful, headspace.

Looking forward to more. If anyone wants to help me debunk my crazy nerve/leg pain that would be welcome! Nerve pain doesn't flare hours after something does it? It makes no sense!!

Also talked to my parents and they think TMS makes sense and support this road, which is so helpful. They see the goodist in me. (I'm a a non profit attorney by trade and have spent my career representing kids and seniors who are abused and I have super high standards for myself and others)

Also read DR. Schubiner's book and am doing some of his work. And Alan Gordon's. A bit obsessed, maybe not a good thing?

Ok, day four. Let's do this!

Karen

 

LOL - this too, will pass. You're excited! Have I mentioned to you before, don't make the mistake of trying to do this work perfectly? Don't worry if you decide to not finish something (a book or program) - go for what resonates for you. The less perfectionism you bring to this work, the better. Just keep at it.

 

Thank you @JanAtheCPA! I definitely have to watch that tendency to do this the "right" way and give myself some more grace. But I'm feeling very positive and calm today and empowered. Thank you for reading and responding to me. It feels like a hug and pat on the back!