Have done the sep for today, and didn't know there was different ways to journal. Will have to try the different types. With regard to how I felt when the dr told me results, I felt like they didn't think it was very important or that they didn't take me seriously. Told to loose weight(which I know) and pain management, went home with a grocery bag of pain killers! THATS IT! Have been back a few more times but nothing else to come of it. I guess I felt like no one really gave a shit! You don't look any different on the outside! Changed my routine this morning, (to change my conditioning and tackle fear) had a shower as soon as I got up like I used to do. Really hard to keep going and I almost didn't. I didn't get dressed tho, I sat down for a while and picked up iPad, and somehow logged onto a chat. Must have meant to be, cause I felt great after after some kind words, and I got up and got dressed. Have an affirmation going to bed, and I said it every time I woke up during the night too, and then another one as soon as I wake and while I shower. Have been feeling better throughout the day which is encouraging.