I'm a lot better today. I've been doing my homework, journaling, crying and walking, so I've calmed down a lot. One of the things I always get hung up on is feeling stupid and guilty for allowing my perfectionist self to have led the type of life that meant I developed TMS. Ridiculous I know, so that's one of the reasons I got back on the forum, to stop feeling like a lonely freak. I did tonnes of journaling the first time around, I think I've dealt with all my back story and personality. I need to do more work on the day to day fear of symptoms flaring up again, and conditioning , so I finally get the beast off of me. I'm driven perfectionist who thinks they're personally responsible everyone else's happiness. My ex-husband was abusive so I would be anything to placate him, and it just became a habit, that's proving very difficult to shake; I'm working on it though. Three years ago I was crippled and hopeless, I'm now leading an (almost) normal life again. I refuse to let what is basically the habit of being tense, keep any kind of hold on me.