The top of my list is PF, and how that is harming me, but it's getting less and less painful. Now the next layer is Binge Eating Disorder and I was just reading the IFS forum about it. I need to think & go into a deep place. Deep layers upon layers about why. I have been in and out of OA for years, it doesn't really help me. It did once, but since then not really. I just went the other day and shared about TMS & I vented about a lot of things, layers. I love OA for that, for allowing me to vent about things, it's fantastic for that. I'm not sure how to begin here, there's lots of layers. There was my paternal grandmother who super-binged, then would feel guilty and only drink coffee after that for a few days to overcome the binge. There was my mother who was/is so afraid of getting fat that she doesn't eat more than one salad a day. And yet, she's just "disciplined" she had/has told me, she is absolutely fearful of being fat, and likes to brag about her body shape, even now. And posts selfies bragging about her weight and age. There's me, who developed an early eating disorder, I hated food as a child and was super picky. I only wanted to eat cantaloupe, I didn't really like food. Today, I love food. Too much. I know there's deep stuff here, but I feel overwhelmed by this stuff at the moment and just need to rest.