Day 3

[jlala]

I woke up with no pain today. But pretty anxious. I completed today's assignment -- wrote a list of past traumatic events. This was supposed to be a short list but surprisingly -- mine turned out to be a fairly long one. I suppose this is true for all of us; as humans it is impossible for us to avoid trauma.

I appreciate the guidance and the forum and I am looking forward to continuing on my journey.

Answering the exercise question was not too difficult as I have been very conscious of how important exercise is to my mental health throughout my life.

Just rambling here but I can remember a time about ten years ago when something very traumatic happened. Following that event, I became very "ill." My arms and legs hurt terribly. I had shooting, burning pain throughout my body. And my bladder actually HURT. I spent months attempting to get a diagnosis. One day, my therapist asked me if I was feeling pain while talking with him. When I said no, he kindly suggested the idea that I might be "punishing" myself with the pain for a "mistake" I had made. This was the first time I truly considered the idea of pain being created by me FOR me.

Since then, symptoms that have occurred were less obvious. I didn't even consider that this round of jaw, face and tooth pain could possibly be psychologically induced but.... looking back over the last several weeks, I am beginning to see how any sort of trauma (be it mild or severe) can affect the brain and trick it into thinking we need protection from ourselves, our thoughts..... our FEELINGS.

That's all for today. I really hope to hear from someone today. I enjoy the feedback and also, hope my post makes sense.

 

[mstlymebutmstlyu]

Hi jlala.
I'm new to the forum but not new to wanting to quiet my mind and heal my body. I procrastinated for 5 years of having all the tools to heal my mind- letting go and accepting what is but never acted on it. I felt victimized by life and the ppl in it. A month ago I got terrible leg pain and spasms. Level 10 on the scale. Miserable thought I would live anymore and cried over all I took for granted.

Now tuning into my emotions and mental pictures when I'm experiencing pain really helps lower he pain. Before that I was holding my breath and worrying over needing surgery and if I underwent surgery would it even help.

I'm an extreme binger and stuff my feelings to avoid feeling guilty and angry about not being able to control myself or my life. The pain now is very real and I'm unable to stand more than 5 mins without hurrying back I to bed.

Just continue to let the feelings of fear. Worry about outcomes etc. Let it come up and just acknowledge it and it goes away. It's like a kid whose throwing a tantrum for attention- let the child know that you have his attention and he will calm down.

Today my dog jumped on the bed and landed on my private area. He's 60 pounds. I felt a shock and got angry. I told him down and then took a look at my anger acknowledge it accepted that's whT happened. And then I spoke firmly to the sharp pains to cut it out. I acknowledged my anger and I don't need it's help. That I'm fine. And it worked.

 

[jlala]

hello! and thank you for your reply. the more i read and the more i explore my feelings, the more i understand this diagnosis. i am hoping you begin to feel better soon. i have been reading aboutyour pain and i completely agree that this is tms. i wish you a pain free life and the ability to process your emotions so that you begin to feel much better!