Day 26

[Marytabby]

I am doing the SEP diligently, trying to ask myself what I am FEELING when I feel bladder symptoms come up. Usually the answer is "I'm feeling anxious or I'm feeling mad" and I then tell myself why I think that's so. A new symptom that has started up yesterday and continuing today is a weird palpitation either from my heart, but more likely from my pectoral muscle near my heart. I literally can see this fast spasm at my heart area (at the breast). It's an interesting new TMS thing that I have no worry about but I do want to delve deeper into this. I journaled today that perhaps the new symptom (close to my heart area) is heart sadness and grief over my brother dying in May and losing a new relationship 3 weeks ago that never quite launched after 5 weeks when all the bladder stuff started. Just an idea, not a definite surety.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Marytabby. You've gone through a lot since May, losing your brother and the relationship ended. No wonder a new symptom showed up. I'm 86 and have lost family, friends, and beloved dogs. I just tell myself to keep going and better times are coming.
I hope you can also be positive about things getting better. Make up your mind to that. Keep remembering how calming it is to practice deep breathing and to tell yourself a positive mantra... maybe something like "I am happy. I am healthy."

 

[Marytabby]

Hi, Marytabby. You've gone through a lot since May, losing your brother and the relationship ended. No wonder a new symptom showed up. I'm 86 and have lost family, friends, and beloved dogs. I just tell myself to keep going and better times are coming.
I hope you can also be positive about things getting better. Make up your mind to that. Keep remembering how calming it is to practice deep breathing and to tell yourself a positive mantra... maybe something like "I am happy. I am healthy."

Thanks, Walt. I actually have had an almost purrfect week. Scale of 1-10, 10 being the best, I am at a 9.5 with the bladder. I took myself to Kripalu, which is a yoga and spiritual retreat in the Berkshires here in Massachusetts. I stayed for two days and over those 2 days I did seven different spiritual healing a and bodywork treatments with the staff. I worked through some grief in those sessions and I'm also continuing to do this SEP program. I believe I have turned the corner and I am going to continue finishing this program. Also I have a new TMS symptom now, heart palpitations, but I am not worried about it in the least because I know it is TMS on the run so I take it as a really good sign.