Day 20 day 20

If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make this change?
I tend to keep a good amount of clutter around me at work and at home. (I'm not a horder, but I do have a hard time throwing things away sooner than later). I think that keeping these things around me provides me with a sense of safety and protection. I need to realize that I can take care of myself and protect myself by speaking up about my needs.

I have read that sometimes by changing things in your environment (following fung shui) that you can change things inside of you. I think that when you make the changes in your environment and emotions come up then you can deal with them. Over the years I have hired personal organizers to help me get rid of my clutter. I usually have someone come once a year and spend a few hours to at least get my room to a manageable amount of clutter. I have a lot of stress and anxiety surrounding these meetings. I know I need to do it, but at the same time I feel very anxious. It's that feeling of protection that I get from being surrounded by things that wanes when I start to throw things and give things away. I hate that feeling. I am still recovering from the meeting I had with the organizer two days ago. I started to feel my plantars fascitiis which I haven't felt since starting the structured program several weeks ago. It's horrible. I know I need to explore this feeling of anxiety. I don't like having my environment a mess because it's embarrassing, but at the same time it makes me feel uneasy to have so much open space. Even when I am at a hotel I end up with things spread out everywhere including on my bed and I sleep fine that way. I feel like I will continue to follow the tenets of fung shui and see if I can uncover the reason for my uneasiness to have things neat and organized.

 

This is a conditioned response and clutter is the trigger. You learn to break this habit just like the habit of pain.
I know you will do a lot better in everything you do when you beat this conditioning cause its usually
the things we don't want to stop or give up that cause us the most tms pain.
Bless you