Day 2

A

Atlantis

New Member
I’m really excited today.. I’m on day 2 of this program but have really started with tms principles 2-3 weeks ago. Not really counting. Today I ran 3.5 miles and had some arm discomfort but I pushed on. Very little numbness in my finger and less discomfort in my traps and shoulder blade. I’m really working hard and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My mom is coming over tonight and she really is a stressor for me so I’m going to have to work hard to control my anxiety.
 
Atlantis said:
My mom is coming over tonight and she really is a stressor
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The best thing I learned in the SEP is the free-writing (ie: journaling) exercises. A really great one for parents is writing "the unsent letter". After your mom leaves, try that one, and don't hold back. Write down all of your completely unacceptable feelings about her and how she affects you. Read it once, and then destroy it, immediately.

I did this back when, and it was awesome. It's important to know that you don't ever have to say anything to her. You are doing two things: 1) you are allowing your fearful repressive brain to understand that you can acknowledge those true feelings openly to yourself, and still survive, and 2) you are standing up for yourself, TO yourself, and by doing so, hopefully finding a way to continue to have a relationship with the person (your mother) without the past negative impact on your emotional well-being.

~Jan
 
JanAtheCPA said:
The best thing I learned in the SEP is the free-writing (ie: journaling) exercises. A really great one for parents is writing "the unsent letter". After your mom leaves, try that one, and don't hold back. Write down all of your completely unacceptable feelings about her and how she affects you. Read it once, and then destroy it, immediately.

I did this back when, and it was awesome. It's important to know that you don't ever have to say anything to her. You are doing two things: 1) you are allowing your fearful repressive brain to understand that you can acknowledge those true feelings openly to yourself, and still survive, and 2) you are standing up for yourself, TO yourself, and by doing so, hopefully finding a way to continue to have a relationship with the person (your mother) without the past negative impact on your emotional well-being.

~Jan
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Thank you so much! This is very helpful and I will do this tonight when she leaves. Thank you for the advice.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
The best thing I learned in the SEP is the free-writing (ie: journaling) exercises. A really great one for parents is writing "the unsent letter". After your mom leaves, try that one, and don't hold back. Write down all of your completely unacceptable feelings about her and how she affects you. Read it once, and then destroy it, immediately..
Click to expand...

I did this in therapy. She had me write and read aloud an unsent letter to my father that died when I was 11. I didn't realize it at the time but it was really affective. For the months I did therapy I do not remember having any pain. I'm still not sure I did therapy correctly and got the most I could out of it but the plan is to go back and give it a try with another therapist. The only problem is that I would like to find a therapist that understands TMS but am having a lot of trouble where I live in Connecticut.

But I do really recommend the unsent letter, it really helped me at the time.
 
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