Day 2& 3 "it has begun"

[Saoirse]

So I am going to London UK tomorrow with my husband and my nephews,my nephews are a similar age to me and are my good friends. I was going into auto pilot mode as was my husband... you know cutting my cloth while away with "MY BACK" like its something that has to have its special way of living and traveling .I did day and 3 of the program and have been chatting to my mind giving out to it, indeed I was in the supermarket today and my husband turned to me and said" bloody hell your talking up a storm to yourself" and indeed I was but out loud.So I have been looking forward to this trip for ages and already I am cutting away chunks of fun time to alocate to me laying with a hot bottle on the bed or floor -leaving the fun to do so. I now know the pain in this situation is based on TMS conditioning, I fully expect to go and rest and meditate to handle the anxiety and to lie down for the pain.Indeed I was in London 2 weeks ago working and as an avid amature historian I left "THE TOWER OF LONDON" to go back to a holiday inn and lie down with ice packs and heat pads as "I knew" the pain is getting worse ive been out ,the cold has got into my bolts I have to lie down now or ill not cope. So I am going to challenge this weekend , I am getting up at 4am as I live in rural Ireland and collect my nephew ,head to Dublin aerport and I am not going to plan my whole day counting the hours and waiting for escalating . I'm going to have that internal conversation with my mind and think more mind less body. Wish me luck as its really programmed over 20 years and somewhat second nature my belief in it so absolute. But every journey starts with the first step.

 

[Ellen]

Good for you! Hope you have a wonderful time. Let us know how you're doing. Be patient, and don't get discouraged if symptoms come up. Sometimes it can take a little while to get through to your unconscious brain.

 

[Colly]

Hi Saoirse, agus dia duit

I had over 20 years of chronic pain and living in Australia would obsess about the flight back to Ireland to see family every couple of years. In the early years I would spend the 20 or so hours travel pacing around the plane like I had ants in my pants, always fretting about not sitting for too long. Holidays were always planned around what I could and couldn’t do.

Since my TMS discovery which I embraced whole heartedly I no longer fret or fear the long haul flight, and in fact in August just gone I jogged around London several times during my stopover; something I never in my wildest dreams think I could do.

A few important keys to healing are:

1, Complete confidence in TMS which it sounds like you have. That in itself is vital to recovery;
2, Lose ALL fear in how your back behaves along this healing journey. Don’t mollycoddle it, just accept what ever it throws at you;
3, Get on with life and have truckloads of fun and laughter.

Have a ball in London and enjoy the craic!

 

[Saoirse]

hello a thabhairt duit mo chara
Thanks guys just back from London and I had a great time , I think with a recent history of my Mam dying and my sibling estranged by and large the solace of being with my two nephews who are my brothers was so emotionally healing and I felt so loved and liked just for being me. My husband said I rarely mentioned my back and I just got on with a whirlwind of events with laughter late night and active days. I gave out to my back and did affirmations to myself when it got painful and it felt NOW was the time to stop and focus only on it. I came home and by God it kicked off only hours after I got into Ireland and its now stiff and V sore but it can " Go boil it head" because I am not getting into giving it so much of my energy but its a tough day.....But I had the best weekendxx

 

[Colly]

I love when you say you "gave out to your back". I don't think they use the phrase to "give out" anywhere but in Ireland. Makes me smile to read it.

You have the right approach and attitude Saoirse, just keep going with it.

Often we have to remove ourselves physically to somewhere (London in this case) to have the space to reflect, and you have highlighted a two big contributors to your emotional (and physical) discomfort. I'm sorry to hear of your Mammy's passing.

I fell out with a beloved sister for almost a year and it broke my heart and gave me great stress (and TMS), so I can understand how you must feel. I have reconciled with her and it was a huge relief to embrace her once again in July... a year of pain dissolved in moments.

Explore if there is any way to reconcile with your sister... any way to forgive... and reach out to her.

 

[Saoirse]

Thanks Colly, yes I think your right getting away ,being occupied on fun things in a different place really helps.
I have 4 sibling living in the town I work 2 brothers and sisters. The only one that engages with me is my brother 17 years older but I have to chase him and then he can be quiet mean and I feel bad. I have tried so many times and had so many "Talks" with my sister but if you knew them you would know "they are not for change" unless I take their side in a row with a sister overseas I will be passed in the street without a hello. I am not selling my integrity ,who I choose to talk is up to me and everyone has a different past and realionship with different people. Why can we all just" worship in our own way" and all get on. But you are right it is a physical weight on my heart as its so new but I know it wont blow over so I need to carry on.xx