My personality traits of being a goodist and perfectionist make me feel hopeless and wrong and I feel as if I am betraying myself all the time. I feel I always have to do good things for others to make up for that I am basically a bad person. Whatever I do is never quite good enough. Sometimes in conversations with others I notice that I say things just to please the other person in order to get approval. I often do things for my husband in order not to be critisised which I hate because it hurts. Afterwards I feel like a fake and sad that I am so approval seeking at my age. I think other people can see through me and know when whatever I say does not come from my heart and they won't respect me. My perfectionisme keeps pushing me around all day. I am having problems concentrating on one task as I am always thinking of the next thing that needs to be done. My inner bully is never satisfied and there is always that nagging feeling that I should do better. I realise that all of this stems from my parents never showing approval and me always feeling wrong somehow. I know I have to love myself but this will take a long time to turn around. Anything that makes me proud since starting the program? I am in a better place than one year ago and I have gained insight in many things. On rare days I manage to show my feelings without being angry or sad. I stay calm and manage to think "I don't care what you think of me. It is going to be the way I want it" without feeling selfish. This is great progress for me. I wish there were more days when I could just drop being a people pleaser but at least I am aware of when I am doing it.