Day 16

[Alyssa5]

I am having a hard time determining what CURRENT stress factors are contributing to my pain. I have the personality traits of being hard on myself, being a perfectionist, people pleaser, low self esteem, so I know those play a factor to my pain. Also I had some childhood stress factors but what else could be contributing to my pain.. I am running out of ideas.

My pain began right after having my daughter, so I am digging my brain for information as to why it occurred during a time which should be one of the happiest times (enjoying a new baby girl and all) of my life but instead I was plagued with chronic pelvic pain. My pain does not increase unless I sit or lay down so I don't really understand the meaning of "recognizing your triggers". I literally went from one day having no pain to the next day having pain; I try to analyze this all the time but I just don't comprehend how this can happen literally overnight. I question my brain and ask, why would you do this me? We are supposed to work together, not against each other! Then I get mad at it when I get frustrated.

Since starting the program, the only person that I have talked about my condition and TMS is my husband and my pelvic pain forum. I feel the most comfortable with my husband to talk about pain in a private area (rectal, butt cheeks, sacrum and thighs, arms). I don't feel comfortable speaking to anyone about it since it involves a private area; it would be more acceptable to openly discuss if it were my knee, back, neck etc. I have talked to my co-workers about TMS though and how stress (unconscious) can cause our body pain.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Allyssa5. You may not have any more repressed emotions, and maybe don't look for more. You have enough reasons to have TMS because of yhour being a perfectionist, people pleaser, and low self-esteem. Maybe try to work on those by modifying your character traits so you don't overdo them.
And boost your self-esteem by reflecting on the good you have done and are doing for others. When you get frustrated or angry about anything, practice deep breathing. It is profoundly calming. And I also laugh, at myself and my troubles and at the world for being so nutsy. Your subconscious IS working with you. Just be patient with yourself and your subconscious will get the message and let go of your symptoms.

 

[Alyssa5]

I get so frustrated because sitting should not be painful and yet it is for me. We sit for everything (watching tv, driving, going to the bathroom, meetings, work, etc) and its hard to not have fear around this pain. I do deep breathing exercises when I feel the pain increasing the longer I sit. I get up to relieve the pain.. Should I continue to sit despite having the pain increase?