Hi all, I'm slowly making my way through the structured program and journaling about past traumatic events. I feel the need to share this story with others in the hopes of lightening my load a bit. When I was 19 years old, I had a workplace accident. I burned my arm very badly with a boiling pot of soup and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. The pain was excruciating and since I was estranged from my very dysfunctional family at the time, I was also completely alone. I didn't even bother telling them actually. But here's the crazy thing: I remember feeling guilty that I was giving my employer a problem and guilty for getting workman's compensation for a month. In reality, the accident was completely my employer's fault for not providing proper pots to be carried up a flight of stairs and I probably would have been entitled to more financial compensation than just one month's pay. My self-esteem was/is so low that I felt ashamed about the accident!!! That makes me so sad and angry. I deserved much more and this is a pattern I have in my life in general. I'm also left with what I think may be a bit of ptsd, since on most nights when I was asleep, I get images in my head of my son getting burned by accident. I shut out the thoughts but they come no matter what. Don't know if there's a link with this particular incident and my tms, but it feels good to share it.