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Day 11 Day 11

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by samuelrhys, Oct 3, 2015.

  1. samuelrhys

    samuelrhys Peer Supporter

    When was the last time you exercised? Do you have any apprehension about exercising or engaging in physical activity?

    Well I try exercise at least 3 times a week, at the gym I still have some fears regarding my hip but Im sure I will get over those. I am not worried about hurting my back and this pain has left me now.

    I have experienced pain/symptoms all over my body:

    Hip pain - 2 operations each hip

    Foot pain - this was during my back pain episode.

    Lower back pain - a very dull ache constant all day everyday, this probably drived me the most insane as I thought it was my hips causing this. From this I would get up everyday at 6am to try sort it and then go to the gym at 6pm. I tried

    - The Egoscue method
    - The Fai fix
    - Tissue work
    - Stretching

    - MRI came back fine
    - Blood tests - fine
    - x-ray - fine

    For months until I started learning about tms.

    Kidney Area pain

    Upper back pain - This sucked too but again this made me believe I had tms even more

    Stomach problems - Constant belching and abdominal pain all day, tried lots of different tablets however this eventually went.

    Lump in the throat - I had this feeling of a lump which was very annoying. This also eventually went.

    Arm pain, elbow and finger pain - writing and typing was hard and grabbing things

    Back to Hip pain - this made me anxious that I had hurt them again until the pain went away, I find it strange that once the pain has gone I never actually notice as I am enjoying myself being normal until something else pops up that, hang on I wasn't actually in pain for the past 2 weeks!


    Now I have this headache, which is making me very anxious especially because I can't seem to find that many articles on headaches and success stories. I also start to read up on the worst situations which makes me even more anxious. My head feels really tight and full of pressure and my eyes have this sort of strain when I move my head quite fast. I have had this for 5 days now... and am unsure if its TMS still..

    This is one of the worst moments I have had and is getting my down quite a lot, normally I could take my mind off the pain or other problems I have had by doing photography or design work, but having to use a computer and look through a camera while this headache persists is extremely hard to relax with.

    Well I hope it is another bout of TMS as getting depressed like I am is only going to feed it..

    Hope you're all having a good weekend,

    Here's a picture I took in Scotland, If you have watched Harry Potter you might recognize it :)

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    Last edited: Oct 3, 2015
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  2. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sam, I'm sorry the headache is still hounding you. I hadn't thought about its relationship to your progress with the SEP, but this is the point, between the first and second weeks, at which a LOT of people have symptoms that get worse, move around, or that are brand new. This is your brain fighting back, trying desperately to keep your negative emotions safely repressed.

    This is a good time to start learning to listen to the negative self-talk in your head. That's what is scaring you and trying to distract you from examining your repressed emotions.

    That's a gorgeous photograph! I sure do recognize it from the movies, but never thought to wonder what it was? Lovely aspect and composition.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  3. samuelrhys

    samuelrhys Peer Supporter

    Hi Jan,
    Thanks Jan :) I was actually thinking today when ever I get close to going traveling for example a few days after my visa came for Australia we went on that walk when all the back and foot pain started (when my tms journey really kicked in).

    Oh and when I was 18 and booked to go to Australia my hip issues cropped up.

    And now today, I was planning on going to Germany on the 25th of this month that this headache has started when i was actually going to start looking into it more last week, It wasn't playing on my mind that I need to look at it and I wasn't thinking about it that much but maybe this is whats happening?

    I'm still unsure but every time I finally want to go away with no return ticket in mind that I am stopped...

    I have also accepted in my mind that my hip issues are TMS because the pain suddenly disappeared again a week before this headache started...though this is one of the worse I have felt because trying to do anything with this constant head pressure/tension sucks.
  4. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Sam. I hope you will go ahead with the trip to Germany. The thought of it may give you some anxious feelings that result in TMS pain, but keep focused on how wonderful the trip will be. It's great that your hip pain went away after believing it was caused by TMS.

    Get into the mood for the trip by going online and reading up on where you want to go in Germany. Imagine yourself there and having a great time.

    Youtube has some good free videos on different parts of Germany.

    I was in the U.S. Army stationed in Frankfurt for a year back in the 1970s and loved the city and visited other parts of the country such as Heidelberg, Eltville, and took a Rhine River journey to Rudeshime and the Watch on the Rhine. A beautiful country and I loved the beer and brats. And the oom pa pa music. It's fun to think back on that year.
  5. KevinB

    KevinB Well known member

    Hi Sam,

    It's fantastic to see you so active here and following through with the TMS program - it works. All of these things you're experiencing is typical TMS, Dr. Sarno calls it the "symptom imperative" - the unconscious mind searches for new ways to keep you distracted via pain. From my view, an outside look at what you're describing, this is PRECISELY what's going on. You are healthy man. The first thing you must do is stop "researching", the internet and all the horror stories will drive you MAD. I speak from experience. With my back stuff, I would sit at the computer for hours and read the same crap over and over again....but once I stopped, thanks to advice from peers here and doing the program work, I began to improve quite quickly. You'll learn more and more tools on how to address these flareups and TMS moving - but it can take some time, so just try to be patient with yourself. Have you been doing all of the journal assignments? That for me was key. As soon as you start feeling and releasing repressed emotions, which again, for me, were tapped into by journaling, recovery begins. I also started psychotherapy during my program here because I was SO SICK of the pain, I wanted to really get into what's repressed. That alone was very difficult, and painful- I won't lie, there have been times during this unlocking of repressed emotions where I almost wanted my back pain to return rather than look at and feel some of the repressed emotions.... but I feel so much lighter now, and free, and I continue to do the work.

    Now, this is my story - that doesn't mean you necessarily need therapy. Dr. Sarno says really only a small percentage of TMS sufferers do need it. But I happen to be one of those patience with some pretty gnarly childhood stuff, so therapy has been extremely helpful. I'm all but done with that now, and the other day it occurred to me that I'm at 100% - back pain is entirely gone. I'm using the tools I learned here (journaling, staying active on this site, talking to my TMS, feeling things as they come up, cultivating self love and acceptance, etc.), and those that I learned in therapy. It's amazing Sam, I'm telling you brother, this works.....but you got to believe in it and do the work.

    Go to Germany. Tell your TMS to go to hell.

    Stella likes this.
  6. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Kevin, your post is wonderful... so inspirational that your back pain is entirely gone thanks to TMS work.

    I think most people, I know me included, has less than perfect childhoods (my parents divorced when I was 7,
    mom remarried, that lasted a year, then she and my father got back together, but he died when I was 21 and he
    was only 51, and she married his brother who was a psycho. So things went from bad to worse. But journaling helped me
    to put myself in their shoes and realize Mom and my fathers had TMS too, so I was able to forgive them.

    Dr. Sarno and TMS has led me to understand myself and others better and to forgive... face the stressful emotions
    and go on from there.

    Sam, how are you coming on deciding to go to Germany? Think of all the brats and beer you will enjoy!

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