New Program Day 11: Pain Reprocessing

[Lynn S]

The statement "But if you're a chronic pain suffer" in this simply put explanation of somatic tracking makes me cry. I sat with these feelings for a while and will look at the videos tomorrow. Wow everything in its' own time.

 

[Treedreams]

those are the thoughts and phrases i'm trying very hard to to say or think. Now, as i stated abouve, i do take painkillers. If i dont (not sure i'd be able to keep a job) i go into wounded animal mode and i'm snapping, freaking out, and telling people i want to die, etc.

Ah Nicole— I just came here a week ago, due to a new injury. After spending so many years shifting my attention from a triple groun region injury-/ pudendal, ilionguinal and genitofemoral— I was not letting myself believe I had fractured my foot. Just reaching out because thanks to Dr. Schubiner — and mybiwn prolonged work in recovery, I went from the torture you describe so well —when I did not sit for three years, and could no longer walk and had a full time aide and was on huge quantities of opiates (which in the end exacerbated the issue not to mention made me nearly psychotic)— and total isolation from family and society— to a happy, fully functioning person (and now grandma of three) and completely off all pain killers. I never thought there could be a second without pain let alone a whole day— but IT HAPPENED!! And it will— and already us for you! So keep going girl!! And remember you are a hero! The reality is the bike tides and you will be able to show up for everything some day soon without pain. I am 100% positive. Also maybe check out a pelvic pain expert Lorraine... don’t remember last name, but very MB’s oriented and wonderful. Good luck!

 

[Treedreams]

Hi,

Im danish so excuse my english. I am pretty sure I suffer from TMS but what keeps a little doubt in me is that i have never heard about anyone with the same symptoms as me. So I would like to hear if anyone here have the same symptoms or have heard about others who have these symptoms. My pain is related to my activity. If I walk or stand (for a while) ISo its physical pressure on certain parts of my body that causes pain exactly where the pressure is. Also if I one time have overstrained a certain part of my body this part will in the future be more fragile than it used to be, meaning it will take less pressure to cause pain in the future. Does this sound like TMS symptoms?


Thanks

Anders

Anders, I’m not a doctor or expert but from my personal experience — in my case, having bizarre yet very real physiological occurrences, injuries, illnesses and heightened pain reactions since a child— everything you are describing could very likely be treated through this MBS approach. Even before I learned about MBS or treatment approaches I was working with it to heal the very real illness of ulcerative colitis— not with more invasive tests or surgery or medicine but with my mind. The mind is powerful and thus is a method of unmasking the imposter as well as learned by yo show up fir and live yourself. Above all this is s method of experimenting, observing, recording and doing—convincing yourself as well as shifting your perspective. It leads to freedom and joy. It is for you Snders! Don’t give up -/ keep going.

 

[NicoleB34]

Ah Nicole— I just came here a week ago, due to a new injury. After spending so many years shifting my attention from a triple groun region injury-/ pudendal, ilionguinal and genitofemoral— I was not letting myself believe I had fractured my foot. Just reaching out because thanks to Dr. Schubiner — and mybiwn prolonged work in recovery, I went from the torture you describe so well —when I did not sit for three years, and could no longer walk and had a full time aide and was on huge quantities of opiates (which in the end exacerbated the issue not to mention made me nearly psychotic)— and total isolation from family and society— to a happy, fully functioning person (and now grandma of three) and completely off all pain killers. I never thought there could be a second without pain let alone a whole day— but IT HAPPENED!! And it will— and already us for you! So keep going girl!! And remember you are a hero! The reality is the bike tides and you will be able to show up for everything some day soon without pain. I am 100% positive. Also maybe check out a pelvic pain expert Lorraine... don’t remember last name, but very MB’s oriented and wonderful. Good luck!

Hi there, i do like seeing success stories. i read Shubiner's book, but i think my pain has less to do with emotions/trauma, and more to do with fearful thinking and lack of living in the moment. i also have a very "uppity" nervous system, complete with anxiety and insomnia. I have to figure out how to calm myself down. Trying meditation and deep breathing, but i'm so horrible at it. I think Steve O.'s book was my most inspirational read.

 

[Bodhigirl]

I’m back and revisiting each lesson, savoring and relearning. This is such a process! I am amazed how I can learn something and then... voila! Forget it.
What lesson? What safety? What TMS?
When Buddha became enlightened, his arch enemy, Mara, appeared and shot thousands of arrows of doubt at him. He did not hate Mara, he did not fight Mara. ...instead, he placed his hand upon the earth and said, “I see you, Mara.”
I see my anxiety! I see my self doubt! Tension. Rage. And tiny rages which I affectionately call irritability. I see my hankering for adrenaline and pain and drama.
I have another saying attributed to the Buddha, hanging on the wall by my meditation shrine: “I have met the builder and broken the ridge pole. I will not build that house again.”
To me, that house is the ego and its defenses. My TMS is a defense against feeling my feelings.
At the present moment, I am in real pain. I’m taking a staycation this week to recover from an elective surgery and I am reminded over and over that pain only lasts when I fear it. When I affirm that I am at ease, that I am safe, that some pain is normal after surgery... the pain literally melts away. Again and again.
I love Alan’s instruction to be snorkeling by the little fish, watching them in wonder. Just like the cool little fish that appeared when I typed “fish”.
It’s a journey, a process, and there is always something to relearn, to revisit, to see more clearly. Grateful to you all.

 

[dada]

I guess what I need to figure out is what is that "diligent work"? I'm not even clear yet what to DO. What "work" to do.
I ordered the Unlearn Your Pain book and the Unlearn Your Anxiety" book. So I hope they help with this.

Hi, I suffered for more then 20 years from lower back pain, to a point where I could hardly walk.
These days I manage my pain, but I’m not there yet.
I suggest you go back to the origin of all the tms approach and read Dr. Sarno ‘s book : healing back pain. I think it is good a starting point. If you haven’t done that yet....
And what helps me is that when I read the books or this program, I note some headlines, key sentences. Sometimes I need to read the same page, paragraph, sentence, over and over again until I really get it. I think this is also part of the issue, the brain is preventing me in a way to absorb it all. So writing helps me a lot. Then if I feel the need, I go back to my notes and then I read just the key sentences....
It is a process. I started by reading Dr. Sarno more then 4 years ago. It changed my life and my physical situation. But then the pain and symptoms moved to other places, and then back to lower back etc.... yes we do need to be patient....
As you can see, there are many of us out there, feeling exactly like you.
Take care

 

[ter456]

It's like you're my twin.. I say the same things and have the same thoughts.. I understand your feelings COMPLETELY. I have also tried pain medication and, also PT.. none made any significant difference... I never fought so hard at anything in my life. To heal, get my life, strength, confidence and quality of life back again... And STILL I'm failing at it. My mind is MINE, so why can't I get it to STOP hurting me??

Like so many of you and Lunar, I often feel so overwhelmed. I have read Sarno's book, other TMS doc's book and that whole idea of subconscious rage and other "volcanic" emotions spilling into our conscious minds (where our brain/subconscious mind tries to distract us with physical pain) is so different to me than what Alan is teaching. It's like our brains' do not know any better. It cannot tell when we are really in danger or not and gets confused by turning on the pain (danger signal) even in response to our emotions that are not dangerous (they may not feel so hot when we experience painful emotions, but generally are not dangerous). So, I've been doing this in earnest for over 6 months (but recently with alan's program) and the most difficult thing for me to imagine is being indifferent or as Alan would say ("not giving a shit) even when the pain is really bad. Yesterday (I get a lot of pain from sitting and standing and even lying in bed sometimes) I was in so much pain sitting in the car, I was crying and (my husband was driving) saying,"get me the hell out of here). So, I can't wrap my brain around the idea of being indifferent to pain, especially when it is really bad. And that makes me feel depressed and defeated because right now I don't feel as if I will ever be able to do that as it seems to goes against human nature (at least for most people). I guess the thing to do is not even think that far ahead as this day's lesson talks about...with graded exposure....one day at a time. And for many of us, it took years for this pain (s) to develop, so I think we need to have an open mind that it could take awhile for it to heal. Thanks to everyone...Teri

 

[pelvicpain123]

Hello everyone

I have a question with regards to the tracking exercise
When I begin to track my anxiety I start to feel really anxious and almost like I’m having a panic attack, this continues for the whole duration of the tracking and hangs around for a while afterward
My question is, how can I maintain a feeling of safety when I feel completely unsafe, even if cognitively I am not panicking, my body feels really anxious.

 

[Gemma]

Hello everyone

I have a question with regards to the tracking exercise
When I begin to track my anxiety I start to feel really anxious and almost like I’m having a panic attack, this continues for the whole duration of the tracking and hangs around for a while afterward.

My question is, how can I maintain a feeling of safety when I feel completely unsafe, even if cognitively I am not panicking, my body feels really anxious.

Hi - What makes you think that you should feel safe when doing the tracking exercise? You are physically safe because you are sitting in your own house. I would challenge you to lean into the anxiety. The idea is that you get to the root of the anxiety. There is no way to go round it. You need to go through it! Once you feel it fully you can let it go.

I remember doing journalling on my journey and I was sobbing throughout the whole thing. You first need to feel the emotional/anxiety pain so that the actual pain will stop knocking at your door.

 

[pelvicpain123]

Hi - What makes you think that you should feel safe when doing the tracking exercise? You are physically safe because you are sitting in your own house. I would challenge you to lean into the anxiety. The idea is that you get to the root of the anxiety. There is no way to go round it. You need to go through it! Once you feel it fully you can let it go.

I remember doing journalling on my journey and I was sobbing throughout the whole thing. You first need to feel the emotional/anxiety pain so that the actual pain will stop knocking at your door.

I see what your saying, thank you for the info

 

[Jeannette]

One thing that is extremely important to understand is how this all ties together. TMS theory has evolved for a long time. From Dr. Sarno's first book to his last, you saw the theory develop from "we may be on to something here" to "this covers so much more than pain and is a very real cure". All that said, Alan can correct me if I'm wrong, the pain starts initially with TMS, the psychological part, tension myositis syndrome. The brain creating pain via the autonomic nervous system to create a diversion from subconscious and unconscious thoughts that it feels need to keep buried. Once this pain is established, it's our focus, our every thought. Now that this pain is a part of our mental structure, here comes the cycle of fear, the cycle of pain, the neural pathways. This goes on for weeks, months, years and now it's a part of our every day lives. At this point, we can change the acronym of TMS from "Tension Myositis Syndrome" to "The Mindbody Syndrome". This is where the program we are currently studying becomes so important.

I feel that it is very important to initially deal with the initial aspects of repressed rage, etc if for nothing else, to understand fully the cycle of what you're dealing with and where it came from. However, I've found that once you're years into the pain cycle, these newer tools we're learning will be the ones that help the most. Also, I hate using the term pain cycle as I know many of us here have pain, but it's not our main issue. I can attribute anxiety, panic, sensitive stomach, numbness, tingling of extremeties, dizziness/vertigo, neurological issues, I could go on and on, all to TMS over the years. Back pain is a pretty easy one for me at this point in my recovery. As a matter of fact I woke up the other morning with horrible back pain out of nowhere. Using these new techniques that Alan has so graciously given us, I was able to work my way completely out of it within and hour. I'm developing the same skills with the chronic dizziness I've experienced on and off for pretty much my whole life as well. Onward and upward with an attitude of positivity and patience!

Thank you! I appreciate the time you took to explain it this way. To back off and look at the bigger picture helps me understand better why some pain persists. You answered a lot of questions.

 

[Karim]

I have pain 24 7

 

[Karim]

I have pain fof over 10 yrs how would i be afraid i already know is not dangerous since i do sports and excercise why the pain doesnt go?? How would this apply to me??, i have learned that this isnt gonna kill me hello over 10 yrs why i still have crps?

 

[Alan Gordon LCSW]

Hey Karim,
Sorry to hear what you’re going through. I had pain 24/7 at one point too. Even if we don’t feel fear in the traditional sense, any kind of resistance (frustration, annoyance, etc.) is all under the umbrella of fear.

When the pain is really bad and really persistent, it’s really hard not to pay attention to it all the time and it’s hard not to pay attention to it with a sense of frustration and intensity. But unfortunately this just serves to reinforce to the brain that it’s dangerous.

Sometimes when it’s hard to pay attention to the pain through a different lens, the best thing to do is tell your brain that it isn’t dangerous, and practice bringing your attention to other sensations in your body that are more pleasant (or at least neutral.) I’d look at day 20 of the program. Often the pain fades incidentally as we get better at gravitating toward feelings and sensations that make us feel good. (Since attending to things that feel good subcommunicates messages of safety to our brains).

Alan

 

[Karim]

I have Lots of symptoms when am distracted my pain subsidies but the most annoying symptom is the excercise intolerance, i get flush AND has to develop a Way yo excercise un small repetitions cause if i overdoo i get super diZzy AND hot like suffocating feeling. I get fainting spells

 

[TrustIt]

I feel all those same ways too... About myself. Guilty for bringing others down, no fun anymore.. I often need help, can't lift heavy and daily necessary activity is hindered. I miss my "old self"... Super energetic, goofy sense of humor, always on the go... Im old, but 51?? I feel cheated out if ten years or so... I could maybe accept such limitations at 60, 65...but not now!!! I sound pathetic I know, but I can't even type this out without crying! Is it always this hard?? Does anyone else EVER feel so lost and overwhelmed??

i know exactly what you mean. i miss my old self, too. i have always been healthy. about 15 years ago, i developed a post nasal thing that drove me crazy. it was absolutely 24/7. started me down rabbit holes i never knew existed. i am terrified of the conventional medical system, due i'm certain to some traumatic experiences in hospitals in my 20's. i am now 72. amazing how things lodge in one's brain and then come up so many years later. long story that i won't repeat here, as i have entered my story on this site. but, cutting to the chase, i developed digestive issues with some scary symptoms and consequently awful health anxiety, which i am still currently dealing with. am better, but not done yet. i get SO ANGRY that i "feel" powerless over this pain/anxiety and can very quickly slide down into self-pity and cry, cry, cry. i journal about that anger and can't write fast enough, large enough, or press down hard enough with my pen to express the rage i am REALLY feeling at the time. i meditate every day. the sinus issues have considerably improved, but the abdominal and back pain are now my most "unacceptable" symptoms. i hate fear. it's a big fat LIAR! i keep reading that one should definitely get checked out by a doctor before assuming tms, but doctors are often wrong and scare me more than having something wrong and dying from it. yes, i mean that. i have been on tsuchroller coaster. i want it to be tms so that i can deal with it myself and not have to endure exams, tests, treatments....AARGH! even those words trigger me! i think i've gone way off topic here, but i'm going to leave it in case anything rings with anyone else. this forum helps me with my doubting brain a lot more than dr. google, who scares the willy out of me most of the time. yes, i do feel lost and overwhelmed at times. i'm sure most of us here have and some still do. i want to hear other people's stories...especially success stories. i think we all need that. wishing everyone success in their journey.

 

[TrustIt]

I do have a question though. My reaction to pain is much less scary than it used to be, since learning all this. However, when it kicks in, i still take meds. (mostly gabapentin, and weaker painkillers). Basically, i have to, because i'm expected to still work my job, and i cant do that when in bad pain. So yes, i still pop meds whenever the pain strikes, but i feel i'm doing it simply to feel better, but i'm not expecting that the meds are "fixing" a problem. So even though i'm a lot less scared of the pain, i worry that my habit of popping a pill whenever it comes on, is reinforcing fear.
Like i said, i still need to work my job, and participate in life. Having pain in your crotch, rectum, and urinary tract, is some of the most awful pain i've ever had to deal with, worse than any other body part pain. It's not scary anymore, but if i dont take pain meds, i go into wounded animal mode and start snapping at my bf to "stay away from me!!!" then i go into an awful place (like i said, there's something especially hideous when that part of the body is burning). I hope i can beat this, while still taking meds, as long as i know i'm only masking pain, just to function. I know it's TMS.

i have the same awful burning/aching in pelvic area. am trying an herbal pain/anxiety reliever to help me break this cycle, the loop of pain/fear/anxiety/pain/etc. for same reason as you...got to function! i, too, wonder if i am delaying my recovery with that. i do sink into self-pity, but when i do, i just cry it out and eventually get tired of that. i have never been a easy cryer, but this has brought it out! i guess that's a good thing. i have digestive issues, and that has now moved from my stomach to incorporate the entire pelvic region. it seems to get worse towards the end of the day and i loooooong for time to go to bed and sleep. i feel intuitively that it is all tms, moving about with it's messages so i'm just keeping the faith and keeping my thoughts on emotions rather than body. i am certainly learning patience! we will get to the other side of this and finally know and be who we really are instead of this character that has been programmed to conform to impossible cultural standards. this forum is so helpful.

 

[TrustIt]

Sweetheart, I know well the hell you are in and more than anything I wish I could love you out of it. Because I have recovered from where you are now, my best advice is that you start to be a million times more compassionate with yourself. The medical profession just don't really understand the nervous system and many of them have appalling social skills. I know how terrifying their diagnosis can be but honestly angel, they don't know what they don't know. Their prognosis is just an opinion. It's not truth.

I had to spent time calming down my body and mind, and releasing tension before I started getting anywhere in terms of healing. The reason you feel so wretched is because you are trying so hard, fighting so hard, and taking all that intensity into trying to heal. It's that goddam intensity that causes the problem. Give yourself a break. You don't need to figure anything out, believe in anything or anyone, and you certainly have nothing to be ashamed of.

Lovely soul, may you find some peace and surety in the knowledge and care so many people have for you.

Big hugs,

Plum x

plum, your posts are always so beautifully and tenderly expressed. very uplifting. thank you. could i come live with you?

 

[TrustIt]

I think that one of the most frustrating things about TMS is inconsistency. Yesterday was a really good day for me - had lunch with my sons and went for a 6 mile bike ride. Most of my symptoms were fine and my biggest problem, neuropathy was manageable. I have been taking Ambien at night for three weeks because I usually have pain in my feet most of the night. I woke this morning with symptoms (little anxiety, some tingling in hands, and feet hurting). Things really went downhill this afternoon when I got stressed out over having to babysit my granddaughter for a week because my wife wants to do it. I am concerned that the pain will limit my ability to help out, yet I feel guilty for not wanting to do it. I am angry because the decision is not really mine to make. Tried meditation and ended up taking a gabapentin. I did Alan's "safe meditation" and read the section plus the comments. My feet feel better! To answer an earlier comment - although stresses can trigger symptoms, its probably tied to some repressed emotion. Patience is hard when you've had symptoms for months or years, yet I know that after 66 years I need to give it time to change my pathways.

i know exactly what you go through with babysitting your grandchildren situation. i love them to pieces, but i also find it very stressful. i have fearful thoughts about saying yes to something i really don't want to do and then making myself ill with the guilt and the possibility that i might have to rinig on my agreement b/c i am ill. my responsibility level has always been unreasonably high and i am just now, at 72, coming to the calming realization that i can be helpful while not being responsible. and it's ok to change my mind and to change a plan. that extreme responsibility plays out in everything...including my body. if i am responsible then i have to do everything right...eating healthy, resting, sleeping, meditating, supplements...when i realized that this is more about control than responsibility. i think our apparent lack of control over pain, anxiety, and such is the culprit b/c we do get frightened when we feel out of control.

 

[kim marie]

Thanks. A lot of this stuff is kind of confusing to me and abstract. I need to come up with some simple "to do" things to counter the TMS. Like when I feel pain, do such and such. Do I push through the pain, ignore it, do the activity anyway even though it usually makes the pain worse? While telling myself it is safe, it is safe. I kind of need simple bullet points on simply what to do when in pain. I guess I'll go over all the days so far and try to come up with such a list.
Sorry for your pain also

I'm feeling more afraid of the pain being TMS because I don't know if I beat it .having a bad day .Listening to Allen talk her though the pain helps but I just freakout because I won't so bad to get out of pain .this pain is all over my body so bad I can drive ,shop ,take care of myself I cry .iñ 2013 I learned about TMS then it was be mean or beatup or subconscious brain it work for a little while then back in 2014 I lost my brother and was abused by a doctor it was back worse now I'm trying TMS again more afraid this time because if I don't make it I can't live in this pain. Thank you all for your help .I'm lost but hopefully I'll be I'll make it ...and find myself again...