day 10 the veil which hides our emotions

[Saoirse]

I hide my emotions from everyone I work with, but close I hide them from my nephews and nieces.They are grown up and some are my best friends but the estrangement from their mother/father my sisters /brothers makes it impossible to tell them how I have been truly effected. I wear a happy hat a lot of the time but feel its not fair to express my true emotions on how my sibling not wanting anything to do with me since my mam dies has effeced me so badly I did not even grieve my mother . I was so consumed with shock and trying to fix my immediate family issues. I cant talk to them as I respect it a parent for them and I love them and dont want to out them in that difficult situation. They know what has happened and dont agree but never want to say too much off their own bat so I just leave it and it festers and builds up in me. Its very hard and part of the tms issue.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Saoirse. It looks to me like your family relationships are not only part of your TMS pain, they are very likely the main part. Relationships are a two-way street. I know that from experience. My older brother and I were total opposites (he died four years ago). We were totally estranged for more than two years during which he returned my conciliatory letter unopened. I finally let it go for a total of about two years and then phoned him. He surprised me by answering it, and I didn't go into any of our differences. I just asked, "Can we put all that behind us?" He surprised me more by saying yes.

You may have to wait until your siblings are ready to make peace. Meanwhile, tell yourself you're doing all you can and get on with your life. You can also forgive them mentally, in your mind and heart. Forgiving is one of the best ways to heal from TMS Mindbody pain.

Keep journaling and believing in TMS.

 

[Saoirse]

Hi, Saoirse. It looks to me like your family relationships are not only part of your TMS pain, they are very likely the main part. Relationships are a two-way street. I know that from experience. My older brother and I were total opposites (he died four years ago). We were totally estranged for more than two years during which he returned my conciliatory letter unopened. I finally let it go for a total of about two years and then phoned him. He surprised me by answering it, and I didn't go into any of our differences. I just asked, "Can we put all that behind us?" He surprised me more by saying yes.

You may have to wait until your siblings are ready to make peace. Meanwhile, tell yourself you're doing all you can and get on with your life. You can also forgive them mentally, in your mind and heart. Forgiving is one of the best ways to heal from TMS Mindbody pain.

Keep journaling and believing in TMS.

Thanks Walt that a good piece of advice which I will take and run with. Yes it is a big part of a rather complicate back story with my Mam passing away a couple of years ago and all of a sudden things from my childhood I had boxed off many years ago coming back in Technicolor.Im working on living in the now and seeing things I do have rather than things I dont. Its a start... this is some journey huh?