I hide my emotions from everyone I work with, but close I hide them from my nephews and nieces.They are grown up and some are my best friends but the estrangement from their mother/father my sisters /brothers makes it impossible to tell them how I have been truly effected. I wear a happy hat a lot of the time but feel its not fair to express my true emotions on how my sibling not wanting anything to do with me since my mam dies has effeced me so badly I did not even grieve my mother . I was so consumed with shock and trying to fix my immediate family issues. I cant talk to them as I respect it a parent for them and I love them and dont want to out them in that difficult situation. They know what has happened and dont agree but never want to say too much off their own bat so I just leave it and it festers and builds up in me. Its very hard and part of the tms issue.