So as I write this I'm aware that my pain isn't anywhere close to most of you. But at its beginning it was pretty bad. I have read Healing Back Pain and combed through these forums. I'm still not convinced I have TMS. I want to believe SO ferociously! I recently had an MRI done the revealed several bulging disks, scoliosis, and stenosis putting pressure on a nerve. I am 29 years old and have had issues with my back since I was 17 when they discovered my first herniated disk. So I've believed for a long time that there is something wrong with my back. It's weak. It's very difficult for me to shift that mindset but I'm trying with everything in me. This current bout with pain began. 3 months ago right before thanksgiving holiday. My husband's family were all coming in to stay with us. Then my father in law calls my husband to drive 7 hours away to come hunt with him not caring how much I had to do to prepare for feeding and housing 8 people. So there I was alone. I was cooking, cleaning, trying to sand and stain our kitchen table last minute. And I was angry! I felt used and abandoned and just downright furious at the level of selfishness I was seeing. And midway into vacuuming and crying it happened. My back just gave up. Pain seared through me and I got very light headed and then... I couldn't walk. I layed in the bed a couple of days and then I slowly tried to do more. Mostly walking around Hunchback style. That was three months ago and I feel like I've healed significantly on my own. My husband and I have recently decided to foster babies and he kept telling me that we were going to wait until my back was better which caused me a lot of anxiety because I was thinking "what if I never get better? So I put my life on hold indefinitely?? What kind of life is that?" Not one I wanted to live that's for sure. I got really depressed. But I had seen my improvement thus far and still had hope. I had gone from not being able to walk to having some sciatic pain in my left hip to my foot. Sometimes I experience numbness when I'm standing and walking, sometimes I dont. Somedays I can walk a mile around my neighborhood, sometimes I can hardly make it through a grocery shopping trip. I have a strong will and determination to get better but I don't think that's enough. I suppose I'm just waiting for everything I'm reading and learning to sink in. Any advice is appreciated!