Hi-about 10 years ago I was told that I had rheumatoid arthritis. Based on some earlier immune issues I wasn't able to take the standard conventional drugs, but suppressing my immune system never felt right to me anyway. So I began my exploration of every alternative therapy under the sun, in the hopes that I could find someone to ‘fix me”. What I discovered a few years ago, when it got to the point that I was literally paralyzed with fear, was that I had to fix me from the inside-I'm sure that's no surprise to you all. I have spent the past 4 years in therapy with a wonderfully holistic and spiritual therapist, practicing meditation, prayer, a multitude of affirmations and journaling and have made terrific strides emotionally-working on childhood issues that lead to an eating disorder, and after adding some other subconscious change modalities in the past few months I now function at a much higher level. Basically I am trying to ask myself each day, “how will I live this day like my prayers have already been answered even if it’s painful or uncomfortable?” More recently someone introduced me to Dr. Sarno’s books and this world of TMS. I’m learning to trust the process of life and I know things come to us when they’re supposed to but I couldn’t believe that I had missed all of this! Even though I’ve always believed this journey was about changing my heart and not healing my body and even though my therapist has been telling from day one that I somatize my emotions, it didn’t all come together as a cohesive story until I started delving into this information. Specifically when I read that there was an actual term for the insanity I have experienced as I’ve observed physical symptoms pop up and alternate and recede, etc, etc----The Symptom Imperative! I think that even my therapist thought I was little loony. Yeah!-I’m not crazy!! I could have an arthritic symptom like a big swollen knee and then feel like a cold was coming on and the knee swelling would resolve and the cold would go away and the swelling comes back and on and on and on… And now I know I’m not alone ---what a blessing. I’ve been unpacking my history for some time now but obviously my unconscious is still hiding something. I hope this program and this forum help me to uncover whatever it is so I can let my mind know the jig is finally up!