Day 1

J

jennyc19

New Member
I was diagnosed with CFS in my 20's and with Fibromyalgia in my 30's. I'm 48 now. The moment I read about TMS, the moment I was convinced I have TMS. I've suffered with IBS, headaches, migraines, sciatica, and many other things and I'm ready to leave it all behind me. If I am being truthful though, I do have doubts. Even though I know I have TMS, I'm afraid this work won't work on me. I'm afraid I will always feel like I do, always in pain and exhausted. How do I let go of this fear?
 
I'm afraid it won't work too. But for me, I'm mostly just afraid that I don't know what to do and that my life is ruined. I understand that I'm doing my best, and that I want to get better, and that this is the most likely thing to help me get better right now, so I'm going to work at going through it diligently and consistently.

My therapist (specializes in TMS) has worked with me extensively on fear this past year, as I was having terrible anxiety. The practice that worked for me was to understand that my fear comes from a younger part of my mind, one that likely viewed the world in a skewed subjective reality that was more black and white than it really is. As such, I will feel that fear of "This will not work. This will be forever." when it's not really representative of reality. The feeling is still real though, and he suggests that I try to empathize with that younger part of my mind, and truly let myself feel the fear (for me this takes the form of crying like a baby usually), and as I'm feeling the fear, I can almost split my mind in 2 and comfort myself, the adult comforting the child inside. I'll wrap myself up tight, hug myself while I cry, and remind myself that it'll be ok as I lean into the emotion. After the emotion is expressed in a cathartic fashion, I'll remind myself of the adult perspective I have now which is more realistic. The idea here as explained by my therapist is that over time, our minds learn not to fear what we've been fearing, because we are exposing ourselves to it (the scary emotions) but nothing bad actually happens. This is exposure therapy, and I find that the things I was once really scared of (e.g. not sleeping enough, not being able to breath because of tight muscles) no longer actually scare me.
 
Hi jennyc19, I'm glad you're doing the SEP. I hope you're patient with the process, post questions and responses.

I really appreciate Stiffbreeze response. It hits the nail on the head in terms of addressing core fear. So the content is not so important as the emotional experience. You're afraid of not getting better, afraid of symptoms. This is core in the TMS experience.

Stiffbreeze, What a beautiful process you describe, and in such loving detail. I wonder if besides the "exposure" workings here, that you're becoming a more loving presence for yourself inside, you're not turning away from the fear or making it wrong...and your whole system is learning there is more love, more safety. That is life changing!
 
Stiffbreeze said:
I'm afraid it won't work too. But for me, I'm mostly just afraid that I don't know what to do and that my life is ruined. I understand that I'm doing my best, and that I want to get better, and that this is the most likely thing to help me get better right now, so I'm going to work at going through it diligently and consistently.

My therapist (specializes in TMS) has worked with me extensively on fear this past year, as I was having terrible anxiety. The practice that worked for me was to understand that my fear comes from a younger part of my mind, one that likely viewed the world in a skewed subjective reality that was more black and white than it really is. As such, I will feel that fear of "This will not work. This will be forever." when it's not really representative of reality. The feeling is still real though, and he suggests that I try to empathize with that younger part of my mind, and truly let myself feel the fear (for me this takes the form of crying like a baby usually), and as I'm feeling the fear, I can almost split my mind in 2 and comfort myself, the adult comforting the child inside. I'll wrap myself up tight, hug myself while I cry, and remind myself that it'll be ok as I lean into the emotion. After the emotion is expressed in a cathartic fashion, I'll remind myself of the adult perspective I have now which is more realistic. The idea here as explained by my therapist is that over time, our minds learn not to fear what we've been fearing, because we are exposing ourselves to it (the scary emotions) but nothing bad actually happens. This is exposure therapy, and I find that the things I was once really scared of (e.g. not sleeping enough, not being able to breath because of tight muscles) no longer actually scare me.
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Thank you so much for your perspective. It's really nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. I love the examples you gave. I'm going to take them and apply them to myself. Good luck in your journey!
 
Andy Bayliss said:
Hi jennyc19, I'm glad you're doing the SEP. I hope you're patient with the process, post questions and responses.

I really appreciate Stiffbreeze response. It hits the nail on the head in terms of addressing core fear. So the content is not so important as the emotional experience. You're afraid of not getting better, afraid of symptoms. This is core in the TMS experience.

Stiffbreeze, What a beautiful process you describe, and in such loving detail. I wonder if besides the "exposure" workings here, that you're becoming a more loving presence for yourself inside, you're not turning away from the fear or making it wrong...and your whole system is learning there is more love, more safety. That is life changing!
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Thanks @Andy Bayliss, I'm certainly trying to have more compassion for myself, and let myself feel fear, anger, frustration, and anything else without judgement. It's quite hard though, and it's an ongoing process for me.
 
Wow... all this resonates with me completely. A fear that TMS isn't true and I am deceiving myself; a fear that I won't get better and that I will be a disabled person, ridden with pain and sadness, and unable to live my life to the fullest and be the best father/husband I could be.
 
jennyc19 said:
I was diagnosed with CFS in my 20's
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Hello and welcome. I agree that Stiffbreeze gave you some golden advice! Facing your fears, even if only mentally, does desensitize you to them. I also want to mention that I used this program to beat CFS, IBS-C, headaches, allergies, etc. Feel free to send me any questions or concerns specific to those conditions. Good luck!
 
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