Day 1

Today is my first day starting the structured educational program! I have procrastinated long enough by just reading other people's stories and doing research but I have to begin somewhere. I don't have all the knowledge regarding chronic pain but I know in my heart that I have TMS! All tests show that there is nothing structural or physically causing me this pain but I tend to hold on to the idea that some miracle cure will heal me which is my biggest obstacle. After watching the clip, I am happy to know that there is hope to healing my chronic pelvic pain but I also worry that I may be that person that might not heal from using this method. I also worry that I might do things in the program incorrectly which may not give the results that I would like. I feel stuck when someone asks me about emotions because I have a hard time getting an answer from my body; I feel as though my body and my brain are disconnected. So for me to think psychologically/ emotionally is going to be a challenge. My thoughts go to negative thinking and it is hard to shut those thoughts out. My body/ mind is fighting this and does not want to accept that this can help me. Another challenge is that I have a lot of fear regarding the pain. I have been fighting it since it began (Feb 2014). I am tired and exhausted; it's time to do something about it.

A life without TMS means that I would be back to living not just existing; I would live a life without pain and restrictions and much happiness. I would enjoy being alive, being a wife, and mother to my two children. My current nightmare, revolves around pain and misery; wishing everyday to not wake up. A life without TMS would mean that I would enjoy everyday that I am living and sharing with my loved ones and being present and active. Oh how I wish that day will come... A life without TMS pain.

 

Hi, Alyssa. Welcome to the TMS healing community. I think you need a boost in belief that TMS causes your pain and you can become free of it.

You hold some doubts about TMS and that will keep you from healing totally. Try not to fear that you will be one of those whom Dr. Sarno says will not heal from TMS. Think of all those who have, like me. The SEProgram helped me heal from severe back pain. Journaling helped me a lot, to realize I had been repressing anger and feelings of insecurity when my parents divorced when I was seven. Journaling led me to realize they had TMS too, and that helped me to forgive them, and that ended my pain.

The body and brain are definitely connected. Great minds have believed in MindBody for centuries and TMS is the present proof of it.

We are encouraged to live in the present, not in the past or future, but TMS also means living with hope, that we will be without pain and enjoy every day again.

It could help you to re-read Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders. I like the extended version of them from Herbie, another TMSer:

Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS

1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but its caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does cause real pain too.
2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or in anxiety then the the blood is restricted from going to your lower back for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain - remember, where theirs no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, The pain stays because of fear and focus to physical organic symptoms and repressions.
3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from tms healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.
4. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. Tmsers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits,traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks its helping you.
5. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you wont have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed cause you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.
6. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear then I feed the pain, If I fear Its impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.
7. Therefore, physical activity is harmless.If I want to work against the pain I could but its better to lose some of the pain so when I start my life over I=t have to be in pain trying to heal cause facing the repressions and all the other activities that cause the pain and reversing my fear and focus to them then I can heal.
8. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my bodies ability to heal now. I can move how I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.
9. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how its hidden -- its illusion, Its fear.
10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face everyone of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present, in flow.
11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.
12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling. The science behind mind-body/tms healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of tms. Tms will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off psychical symptoms and on emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore thus making the tms of no effect. This will in return, give us the cure.

 

Oh good Alyssa, I see you are doing the SEP. I just asked in a different thread if you were doing it. I really recommend fully committing and finishing the 6 weeks - it works.

Kev

 

Thanks, Kevin, for giving Alyssa your encouragement that the SEP works. It helped me become free of severe back pain and has helped many others.

 

Thank you guys for the encouragement... Did you guys do any sort of meditation along with this program?

 

Hi Alyssa, I can't say I've done this program, however meditation is an excellent practice to incorporate into your routine.

Best

 

Alyssa! I am also starting the SEP today. I have known about TMS for 5 years or so and have tried to incorporate the knowledge into my life but often end up frustrated or in fear that I it'll never go away. THat i'm not strong enough to get rid of it. Making TMS such a big deal and obstacle in my life that I wake up defeated that I can't get rid of my pain. I've been needing to start the SEP for awhile but I have my doubts and I stay home with my 3 kiddos (1 3 and 5) so it's hard to find time! Would you want to hold me accountable and I will you too! I have had chronic neck, back, and foot pain for 8 years. My back and neck come and go (because I think I've accepted that they are tension) but my foot pain has never let up. Or have I found a CORRALATION between the foot pain and my emotions. My foot pain moves all over my feet like a neuropathy and I've tried orthodics, different doctors...almost everything. I have a very obsessive personality, like to stay busy, self doubt, perfectionist, people pleaser, put a lot of pressure on myself, guilty stricken....SOund familiar? Lately I have also been struggling with chronic yeast infections and wonder if that is also tied to TMS. Life to say the least right now is DIFFICULT. I will be praying for you and our recovery. I know that there is SOO much more to life than the way that we're living right now!

 

Anna,

I have a lot of fear myself have to let it go; my pain is with sitting/ laying down so it is very hard to ignore. I know how hard it is with kids but last night I I journaled for 35 minutes straight and it felt good to let out some frustrations. It sounds like a good plan to keep each other accountable and on track.

 

How much time a day should be dedicated to meditation?

 

yes I don't know about you but I used to be very active before tms pain. Worked out everyday to relieve stress and to feel good enough! So since pain I've found the only other way to relieve my stress/anxiety/feelings is by journaling. I also love the way meditation makes you feel. Even if I could make a daily goal of 10 minutes for now I would feel like that's good !

 

I have not started a routine of meditation but tried it on occasion.

 

Hi Alyssa & Anna,

Guided meditation is what works best for me when I'm out-of-practice. Try this one, it's great:

 

Alyssa How are you doing??? Are you still doing the SEP? please update me with how you are! I took a couple days off from sickness but now I'm on Day 4. Slowly trucking along.

 

I am on day 13 today I just have not had the chance to write in here since I do the work on my notebook. I tend to do the work later in the evening when my kids are almost ready for bed or asleep. After I write in my journal, I'm too tired to write here but I am learning a lot. How are you doing?

I also attend a chronic pain class.. The common denominator is that we have to calm the central nervous system. Which seems to me that it is very hard to do. The negative thoughts are always on my mind and fear is my biggest enemy!

 

thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES is much harder to do than I thought.. My mind tends to want to focus on my painful pelvic areas although I try to pay attention to a non painful area and then I am hard on myself and question if I am doing it right.

 

Hi Alyssa, it's great that you are working through the program. it's late here, but I'll ping you a message a little later with a list of the various meditations that I find useful.

 

Thank you mike.. Any information is greatly appreciated.