Day 1 - hello

First time posting, long-time reader. Age early 40’s. TMS symptom list: anxiety, sinus infections, sciatica, back pain, neck pain, rosacea, scalp dermatitis, eczema, panic attacks, health OCD, dizziness, pins and needles, cold sensations (chills), tension headaches, hip/groin pain.

Yet I have two kids and used a hypnobirthing program and had completely painless births both times. Why you ask? Because the hypnobirthing took away any fear I had by giving me the education to understand how my body was doing something totally natural and normal.

I realize now that I spent so much time as a kid sick with chronic sinus infections to be able to get the care and comfort from my mom that I was so desperate for. She has severe depression and attempted suicide when I was a sophomore in high school. My inner child has been searching for this same care and attention ever since as the demands of life (parenting, marriage, working, seeing my lonely childhood in contrast to my kids, blah, blah, blah) keep piling up on me and my joy and self-care diminishes (inverse correlation).

Like so many others it’s been a long quest of doctors of all kinds, shapes, and colors, lots of money and time lost, unnecessary surgery, medications, and carrying a rain cloud with me through so many of life’s beautiful moments.

Yet here I am, still willing to move forward, learn to live in the present moment, reclaim my fitness, find laughter, and do however many steps necessary (probably more than 12) to be a recovering perfectionist.

Happy to be here and on a collective virtual journey with all of you.

 

Welcome! I love your self-awareness and reflections here - that will go a long way to recovery