OK, this is a funny title but a serious question. I am a professional photographer. I have TMS. The TMS mostly affects my neck, shoulders and upper back, the very muscles I use for shooting. I am guessing that some of you may know me by now. I am a patient of Dr. David Schechter's, a peer supporter and my TMS is getting better, despite some recent setbacks. I recently posted about how my TMS was much better and recently started to get worse (ironically about the time I decided to get really serious again about photography). Mostly, it's been on the run and on the mend. A lot of symptom substitution, but it always lands back in my upper back and shoulders/neck. I have a question about conditioning. When I first got TMS, before I knew what it was, I saw a physical therapist and a chiropractor who told me that my neck and back pain was poor posture, mostly from shooting and sitting in front of a computer doing PhotoShop all the time. As much as I now know this is baloney, there is a tiny piece of me (I'm guessing the part that hurts) that still believes it. I am in a negative feedback loop. I say this, because when I shoot, my neck and back tense up. Sometimes to the point of considerable pain. It is MUCH better than it was (for almost a year I could not pick up my camera without pain or the use of muscle relaxants) and now I can shoot much more. I can use the computer for much longer periods with less pain. I can drive with less pain (this was a big one and I mostly undid it with mental affirmations). But I still associate the camera with pain. Which saddens me practically to the point of tears, not only because it is the source of my income, but it is the source of my JOY! I've held a camera since I was 13 (that's more than three decades) without pain, but since TMS, I hurt when I shoot. I'm afraid I can't do photography because it is too hard physically. I have made myself believe the camera is too heavy. Dr. Schechter told me this was absolute nonsense. I am a 210 pound, six foot tall, strong guy. The camera is 2.5 pounds. But when I pick it up, I may as well be picking up an Anvil. The interesting thing? If I am shooting for love, or just for fun, I can shoot hundreds of pictures and have very little discomfort. But if I shoot a JOB, or even THINK about shooting a job, I get pain. How do I begin to associate the camera with fun and freedom, financial stability and creative expression, instead of pain and pressure? Is it the pressure I am putting on myself? I put a LOT of mental pressure on myself. But isn't pressure a good thing? I don't want to stagnate or live in fear. How do I push forward (I am trying to get a wedding photography business going and so far it is doing well) without putting undue pressure on myself? My inner voice tends to be a bully and the only thing that works is when I stand up to it. When I "give it hell" as Dr. Sarno says. I would love any thoughts from people who may have found that their TMS is getting in the way of their passion. How do I turn the camera back into a life preserver and not a noose? Intellectually, I know that the camera cannot cause me pain, but in real life, it most certainly does. And it breaks my heart to think of ever giving up my deepest passion. I love photography more than anything. I will never stop doing it, but I want to do it pain free! And fear free. And I'm scared I'll never get there. Thoughts?