cause of TMS

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

How many times do I need to tell my subconscious what the cause(s) of my anxiety-anger are?

 

[Louise Levy]

How many times do I need to tell my subconscious what the cause(s) of my anxiety-anger are?

Its more about sitting comfortably with your subconscious and 'finding out' rather than telling it. Try techniques such as journaling before you go to sleep, notice whether you have any associated dreams and keep a notepad by your bed. You can also journal in the morning around what ever seems to be in your conscious mind. Basically you need to do it until you get that 'light bulb moment', or seek help with a therapist to shine the light for you

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Thanks very much, Louise. Very nice of you to reply.
I get it now. I'm a Type A person working for a super-Type A person for several years and it is very stressful.
Now I know where my anger comes from, I know how to handle it. I will journal about it and also, as someone
else on TSMwiki suggested, I'll write my boss a letter about it all but not mail it.
I already know how I can adjust to working for him... I'll slow down, not jump through his hoop, and work at MY pace,
not his.

Monte Hueftle, you've really been helpful and I want everyone to know it. You told me this:


Your mind and it's Type A patterns are doing Two things:

1 - Generating Inner Tension
2 - Repressing Emotional Energy

Most people understand #1 - Worry, Striving, Controlling, Pleasing, etc. - all cause or generate inner tension.
What most people don't understand it that these patterns are also denying or helping you avoid being with your emotion (whatever that emotion is). This means your Type A patterns are your Repressing Agents.

So it is much more important to learn how to "Be with your Feelings" instead of avoiding/denying/repressing them.

TMS is much more about our day-to-day patterns of being and not so much about repressed emotions from the past.

 

[quert]

Hey Walt - I have always liked what Monte has to say, especially the line, TMS is much more about our day-to-day patterns of being and not so much about repressed emotions from the past.

My recovery clicked when I realized how my past affected how I reacted to present situations. You need to understand how your personality type creates tension through worrying, obsessing, being perfectionsistic, pleasing, controlling, and how that represses your emotions. This is why understanding your personality is so key. Once you recognize when you are TMSing you can identify when you need to consciously switch to being more open and allowing.

Journaling can defiently help you understand how your personality developed, but, and I think this is what Monte touches on, in the end you have to do the work. You have to make a conscious decision to switch your thought patterns from one that generates inner tension to one that is more open and allowing. I wouldn't necessarily journal to reach an "a-ha" moment. I always thought that would make me rely to heavily on the act of journaling, instead of challenging my beliefs that I had a physical problem. Journaling can help you understand when and why you are repressing, but it is up to you to change your reactions yourself. This is what I think Monte is talking about here, and is a message that I think can be really helpful to a lot of people. If you haven't read it yet, check out the post Seeking the Grail. It reiterates what Monte says.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Thanks, quert. Helpful advice. don't plan to do much journaling, but will write that letter to my boss to get it out of my system,
and not mail it.

I definitely am going to think about and adjust my Type A personality. I take after my late father who had so many friends and was so well-liked that at his funeral the priest asked if he was a member of the Mafia. No, her was just well-liked and friendship was sacred to him, as it is to me.

I wonder though, some readers of HEALING BACK PAIN said they were pain-free in hours or days while it took weeks for others,
and Dr. Sarno says it usually takes from 2 to 6 weeks. That can be because of how long and strong the anger has been going on.
For me, with my super Type A Simon Legree of a boss, it has been for years. -- Walt

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi again quert. I got a lot out of SEEKING THE GRAIL. I won't go digging in my past... I've lived to 82 with the philosophy of
"take what crap life gives you, put it behind you, and go on from there." But I will work to adjust my Type A personality. -- Walt

 

[Lala]

Thanks very much, Louise. Very nice of you to reply.
I get it now. I'm a Type A person working for a super-Type A person for several years and it is very stressful.
Now I know where my anger comes from, I know how to handle it. I will journal about it and also, as someone
else on TSMwiki suggested, I'll write my boss a letter about it all but not mail it.
I already know how I can adjust to working for him... I'll slow down, not jump through his hoop, and work at MY pace,
not his.

Monte Hueftle, you've really been helpful and I want everyone to know it. You told me this:


Your mind and it's Type A patterns are doing Two things:

1 - Generating Inner Tension
2 - Repressing Emotional Energy

Most people understand #1 - Worry, Striving, Controlling, Pleasing, etc. - all cause or generate inner tension.
What most people don't understand it that these patterns are also denying or helping you avoid being with your emotion (whatever that emotion is). This means your Type A patterns are your Repressing Agents.

So it is much more important to learn how to "Be with your Feelings" instead of avoiding/denying/repressing them.

TMS is much more about our day-to-day patterns of being and not so much about repressed emotions from the past.

i just got caught up on this older post....thank you for sharing...this is very helpful...simple and direct...easy to understand. thank you for sharing

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Lala, I thought my work-boss related stress was my big suppressed emotion but
Steve Ozanich suggested it is deeper, into my personal life.
That led me to discover what is very likely the real answer, in fact two answers.
One goes back to my boyhood and teen years and the other more recent.
Steve said our deepest repression usually goes back to our growing up years
and I believe he's right. -- Walt

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Both discoveries are too personal to mention, but if you dig deeper
yours will come to the surface. Walt

 

[Lala]

Both discoveries are too personal to mention, but if you dig deeper
yours will come to the surface. Walt

I agree Walt...this is why I'm so loving Steven's book....the whole idea that the TMSer's personality originated from a shameful and/or separation anxiety experience from infancy or childhood really hit home for me...I'm seeing that its not about digging up old dirt/traumatic events, but more about understanding how experiences in your early life set the stage of for the creation of patterns that cause us to repress. I too have discovered some things about my childhood (through very frank conversations with my Mom and some of my own memories)..as I was remembering, learning about these things I was a complete mess...my pain was intense, i was depressed and in a fog...my unconscious was fighting so hard to prevent these things from surfacing...but then they did and a weight has been lifted and I can see now that I was experiencing an extinction burst and that is is truly a sign that I'm healing and growing and evolving. TMS really isn't a syndrome..its about learning to live and see your life differently....something I didn't get 10 years ago (when I first discovered Sarno and healed my foot pain)...I am experiencing pain again, so I may truly learn this time to never forget. My pain is a blessing. The universe works in strange ways.

 

[Michael Reinvented]

...I am experiencing pain again, so I may truly learn this time to never forget. My pain is a blessing. The universe works in strange ways.

Powerful words Lala. I have been feeling your pain/been mirroring your "extinction burst" over the past several weeks. For me, in spite of the pain, something has shifted Psychologically. I am getting my old zany sense of humour/energy back. Reckon it's the fear slowly evaporating!

I agree, we must (all) truly believe that wonderful blessings will come from such prolonged difficulty.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain - Jung.

We will occupy some rare ground post TMS!!!

Keep searching to uncover those long buried thought "skeletons"...

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Lala and Michael,

What a personal adventure in discovery we're sharing, understanding our long-ago repressed emotions.
Steve is right that when we discover them, our subconscious really fights us with the pain.
Yung sure got it right. -- Walt