I've been digging deep and about 2 nights ago, I typed "learning to like myself" into google to see what I got. I don't even know what article I read but it mentioned that we shouldn't measure our self worth by achievement. It shouldn't matter that we're the general manager, or the quarterback, or the valedictorian. What should matter is how much we love and how much love we bring in to others lives. Seems like a nice idea, but I simply cannot wrap my head around it. Not caring about grades, bank accounts, how fast you can run a mile, I'm having a really hard time grasping how to measure "good and worthy." My entire life, I've been about the numbers. My parents wanted good grades, I graduated college with a 3.9. My coaches wanted speed, I was the fastest girl on the team. My dad wanted me to be able to afford a house while I was in my 2o's, I made it so. My bosses wanted 10 hours of work done in 5 hours, I did it. I was speaking to a friend about this last night and she said, laughing a bit, "You've always been about the numbers and competition. Your always saying, 'it's not good enough; I should be doing more'. You do know we like you for more than your time running the mile, right?" It was good to hear, yet I'm still not really getting it. If I shouldn't care about my back account, or how much I can bench press, or if I'm the first pick for the next promotion, what else is there? At the same time, I know that I'm one car accident or cancer treatment (heaven forbid) away from having no back account. I know I'll get old and will get slower and weaker. I know from bitter experience, that even if I never missed a deadline, I will still lose my job if they shut down the company. I also know that putting so much value in things like this is a recipe for disaster. I just can't get what else there is to like about me? How do I know I'm worthy? Is it really just, "try to be a good person"? It's so vague. I can't measure that and give it a score. I hope I'm making sense since this is really new material for my brain to process. Any help is appreciated. Thanks!