So I am about 10 days into working through the Sarno work. I have read the whole of Alan’s program. I have watched a number of success stories. I had been feeling enthusiastic and positive even though all of this is not new to me. I had been through the “Sarno phase” before. But now I am growing frustrated. My symptoms are getting worse. Old symptooms pop up - shoulder pain, neck pain. My current symptoms flare up. And new symptoms come too: last night for example I hardly slept because assaulted by the Restless Leg Syndrome, something I have never suffered from before. I try to keep the FEAR of those symptoms at bay, but it is so very hard, especially keeping the fear of not recovering at bay, since the journalling and visualisatioon have been going badly too. I journaled well on the first or second day. I managed to peel the layers and get to emotions I didnt even know were there, but on the other days, accustomed as I am to write about my life, I write and write with my left hemisphere, and just cannot tap into the right one. I intellectualize, explain, analyze, … I have always been rather good at this, my rational mind excelling at making sense of things, for me and for others, but what has been my strength all my life is now my biggest enemy. My rational mind keeps me away from feeling the more primitive emotions, as well as sensations in the body other than pain. My rational mind also keeps me tighly locked into my pained reality and never for a moment lets me escape into more happier states. I can’t feel my body except for where it hurts. That’s always been my focus, the thing I have never been able to change, no matter how much I try to distract myself and focus on other things. So I have stopped trying. My pain has consumed my life. Whatever activity I engage in, whoever I am talking to, I experience everything through the veil of my pain and dicomfort. It's like being constantly held in a straightjacket. How on earth can I relax? How on earth can I change the neural pathways, focus on building more positive ones, as long as the Pain keeps a tight hold on me and I can never shift my focus from it? In Journaling I am supposed to tap into my feelings, express them, but you see - that has never been a problem for me, I am highly attuned to my emotions and highly expressive of them too - both in words, tears and some smashing of things too ... , have written about my emotions again and again for the last 20 years and it has led to no pain-alleviation whatsoever! How can I dislodge the pain doing what I have always done if it hasn't happened so far? How can I train myself in thinking differently when my body always keeps my rational mind occupied with symptoms of pain and discomfort? If you are being constantly pricked in the back, you can't not give a fxxxx! You can't focus on anything else! At least, I can't. It's not about fearing the pain .. I've been living with it for two decades now and have been trained like a Pro in bearing Pain and discomfort, they are my reality, an armour that has been glued to my body. It's familiar. I don't really fear it, I just hate it! What I do fear is what is happening: not being able to dislodge the frustration and therefore not being able to get rid of the pain, which frankly is a hope I cannot let go off. Hoping for a pain relief is apparently, according to Alan's course, another no-no. I am lost. I cannot practise imagining a healthy body in one that constantly hurts. Visualisation and fantasy have never been my strengths. Just last night, I had a dream, and in it I was experiencing the magic of the countryhouse where I spent the happiest moments of my childhood, and even though it looked like it did when I was a child, and in it I was eating foods that I haven't eaten in 10 years (gluten, meat pate), I was not a child, I was me, a 43 year old woman who was experiencing the magic of the place through the melancholy of someone who is aware that all of that is forever gone ... Do you have any advice for me? Please.