Can't feel anger?

[Joulegirl]

Day 2 wanted me to write down 3 things that made me angry and 3 things that made me sad. That was hard. I found 3 things I could write down, but did they really make me angry? No. Annoying yes, angry no. When I even think of anger I just draw a blank-I do not have a feeling with it. I can look back in my past and remember times I became angry but it is very few and far in-between.
Anyone else struggle with feeling anger? I know this is common amoung TMS, but this really brought my attention to the fact that there might be something there with this for me.

 

[HealingMe]

Hi Joulegirl. Check out this thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/i-cant-get-to-the-anger.23288/ (I can't get to the anger...)

I really like Andy Bayliss' response in particular.

I did ISTDP from the Unlearn Your Pain workbook by Dr. Schubiner a couple months ago. He addresses how you may not always get the anger you think you should be getting. It doesn't have to be explosive. It can be slight irritation or annoyance.

Be gentle with yourself and just feel whatever comes up. That's really what's important. Observe and let it be.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

The kind of anger being addressed is really what Dr Sarno, following on Freud, refers to as Rage. And it doesn't have to be within the confines of your personal life. It can also be from the existential issues, which are:
Meaning
Freedom
Isolation (and/or Abandonment)
Mortality
Uncertainty

I recently added Uncertainty to the original four issues, because it's become one of the biggest inducers of world-wide psychic stress, especially since 2020.

 

[Joulegirl]

I did ISTDP from the Unlearn Your Pain workbook by Dr. Schubiner a couple months ago. He addresses how you may not always get the anger you think you should be getting. It doesn't have to be explosive. It can be slight irritation or annoyance.

@HealingMe
I can definitely understand being irritation or annoyance! In fact, that is what I listed as that was the closest I could get to anger!

 

[Joulegirl]

The kind of anger being addressed is really what Dr Sarno, following on Freud, refers to as Rage. And it doesn't have to be within the confines of your personal life. It can also be from the existential issues, which are:
Meaning
Freedom
Isolation (and/or Abandonment)
Mortality
Uncertainty

I recently added Uncertainty to the original four issues, because it's become one of the biggest inducers of world-wide psychic stress, especially since 2020.

Thanks for clarifying that I don't need to just look at my personal life. It can be a broader issue too which makes total sense.

 

[Diana-M]

Hi, @Joulegirl
When I started doing my TMS work, I woefully realized that I couldn’t feel anger. I could intellectually understand that it deserved to be felt. But it just bypassed my emotions altogether. After a year of working on it, I started recognizing the moment when I stuffed it. I realized I instantly numbed myself. I became cold and blank. That’s why if I get in a fight with someone, I usually don’t yell. Or honestly, I don’t even say how I feel.

But…the other day… really recently, my husband said something that made me angry, and I actually FELT the anger. It was warm in my chest and head. It felt like a tension and heat. I was so excited that I could feel it and recognize it. I just waited a while, and the feeling passed. I allowed myself to feel it. I considered this great progress. (My next step will be to say something!)

So yes—lots of us have no clue what emotions feel like. Especially anger. (In my case, growing up, it would’ve been extremely dangerous for me to show anger toward my parents because they were always on the brink of violence and I didn’t trust what they would do —so I just learned to be quiet and as good as possible.)

 

[Diana-M]

Check out this thread: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/i-cant-get-to-the-anger.23288/ (I can't get to the anger...)

Love this thread! Thanks, @HealingMe !