Can TMS be caused by harassment?

[StrappingStanley]

Hey guys,

I definitely fit the bill for a lot of the personality types that Sarno talks about, Such as angry, stressed, perfectionist, rough childhood.

I really do struggle to pinpoint what causes my TMS. it could be trauma trauma from my childhood, (rape) which I have talked to a therapist over and over with but I never seem to move on from it.

could be my parents that expected too much of me, mentally tormented me for not being smart growing up. My mom used to berate me when trying to be creative on my computer. Would come into my room and punch it and rip it from the outlet when I was trying to draw on it. Was always seen as the dumb one, because my sibling was normal and athletic.

I was bullied for about 10 years in school. Was extremely autistic and fat.

That’s all happened, but I currently have a situation where people I have worked with do everything in their power to try to badmouth me and try to make me out to be the bad guy. Over 10 years ago I worked with 2 guys that were mentally ill, paranoid, victim obsessed gay dudes. They got fired for badmouthing their boss, and blame me for not speaking up for them. It makes me incredibly angry thinking about them. I wonder if I should speak my mind to them, cos sarno mentioned that could help, but they are so mentally I’ll I’m afraid they’ll do something crazy.

is it possible to move on from them without talking to them?

any thoughts would be appreciated, thank you.

 

[BruceMC]

Yes, definitely. Being bullied by a parent during early childhood development is a common background trait in those who develop TMS later on. Also, being bullied in school often reinforces those same patterns of victim-age that manifest as TMS symptoms in adulthood.

 

[Baseball65]

33% what happened
33% How you are wired
33% What's going on.......YMMV

Just like the bad habit we got into of equating pain with
"What did I do to myself?"
Us TMS people tend to only look at
"What's going on in my life right now?"

It's all important, but every time I review the text, I forget "Oh yeah...I was wired to respond this way NOW because of what happened THEN and how that makes me ALWAYS"

Was extremely autistic and fat.

I had that too...Got viciously tormented. I got tired of it and started fighting back, with equally bad results.

I have to remember the Fat lonely kid when I am reviewing.....how does HE feel about what is going on now?
He has never really gone away..just been papered over with 'Adult' responses....and TMS

After you read 'Healing Back Pain" Sarno has a slightly more in depth dive into the detailed personality traits in "MindBody Prescription"

But yeah, getting harassed, F'd with is enraging to the eenth degree to our Ego, inner child ,etc.

Sarno wrote about the woman whose pain was caused by a bullying brother...she stood up to him and the pain went away, but "She couldn't maintain her strong posture and the pain returned" (paraphrased)

I am not sure that 'standing up for yourself' is the solution all of the time. It might be necessary some of the time, But I went from being picked on to being a fighter, and got TMS anyways. I think the most important thing is becoming self aware that this is WHY I am getting TMS...understanding our own inner mechanics and needs , wants and reactions.

Even if you 'fixed' that situation, the problem is still there. I have worked with guys who were LITERALLY paroled murderers... I don't think me getting in their face would have benefited either of us (LOL)
This is an external thing, but many people suck...period. If you needed to stand up to all of them, you got a LOT of battles to look forward to....better to learn about YOU and why you're having the response first and thoroughly.....there might come a time when you are in need of a confrontation, but based on the stats,I'd do everything to 'clean house' first.

peace

 

[StrappingStanley]

Appreciate the response, I’m still really struggling to figure out how to do that though.

I have thought about the things that bother me and written them down endlessly.

I think something is bothering me that I can’t even figure out. Any tips on what to do then?

 

[Cactusflower]

My advice is to give up on deep digging and excavating. Your mind is currently TMS-ing on a single cause, a magic pill that will free you, and rarely is that the case.
I had a similar experience for awhile, and for me, going a few months of EMDR showed me that it’d not the incident, but what your subconscious sort of does with the experience. My brain was filing all stressful episodes together in a file called “your fault”. After recounting one or two long forgotten memories, the stress and need to search for an “answer” dissipated, and my brain refilled all this stuff in a new file called “not your fault”.
This is exactly how the journaling works for most people, but I got stuck there.
Just do the work without worrying about a goal, an expectation, a desperation.. do it with curiosity.

 

[Baseball65]

I think something is bothering me that I can’t even figure out

that is the CRUX of this whole deal. When you realize that stuff you're never ever gonna wholly understand or Feel, but can only speculate upon is the reason the symptoms are there is when the symptoms will stop. Period.

That is why having a personal interaction with the Text I spoke of is so important...this is NOT something your gonna find on this forum...or from a tms therapist or from a shrink...it is a personal understanding of the image of the unknowable you that only YOU can get a glimpse of occasionally through introspection. This is not an act of knowing but a creative act of discovery...

Do you think a shrink who sees someone an hour a week has any clue what that persons previous and current life is really like?

The stuff that I know is bugging me is only a tiny fraction just like visible icebergs are only a tiny fraction of what sinks a ship

I think something is bothering me that I can’t even figure out.

You have to pretend your gonna find it...when your unconscious knows your looking for it, the cover is blown and the symptoms stop...and that has to become a habit, turning your mind to the 'project' if you will, every time you catch yourself focusing on the symptoms

 

[Dorado]

100%. Harassment is going to make your sympathetic nervous system respond, which causes stress, depression, etc.

How are you today?

 

[HealingMe]

My advice is to give up on deep digging and excavating.

100% agree with this.