Hi Lunarlass.
First, I'm sorry to hear that your pain is so sucky and draining so much joy from your life. Pain is real and it really does suck.
I'd like to say a few things in response to your post. This is actually my first ever post on this forum, even though I've lurked on and off for years. I'm a long-term TMSer who has successfully resolved a number of really debilitating issues (wrist RSI, regular migraines, lower back pain, SPD/pubic symphesis disorder/achilles tendonitis, anxiety disorder, calf strains and at least one bout of PF!). I was lurking on this thread again because I have another PF bout and I need to remind myself of the realities of TMS every now and then
I can see that your pain is accomplishing what it needs to in you – keeping you bound up, wound up in the hunt for a cure. You feel as though you must discover the 'root cause' of your pain in order for it to resolve. I can tell you: you don't. It can help, but it's not necessary, and the hunt for it (and the pressure, desperation and anxiety that surround 'getting to the core of it') just adds to the whole issue.
The main things to I have found vital to remember are these points:
1. Your pain is real, but it is harmless. That is, it is not doing further damage to your body, despite feelings to the contrary. It really isn't. This thought may take a while to move from conscious acceptance to subconscious. I've found a combination of working on thoughts AND challenging the body via gradated return to normal activities the best way to convince my brain of this each time a TMS issue rolls around!
2. Fear of the pain is one of the biggest contributors to its perpetuation. Most of the fear revolves around worry that it's NOT benign, and/or that it's going to stop you doing something you love (ie catastrophising about the future). But really, if you do trust that the pain is benign, and you don't let it stop you from doing the things you love, then it stops having power. This has sometimes taken a while for me, but it always resolved bouts of pain eventually.
3. Anxiety is actually another form of TMS. It took me a long time to accept this. But basically, my brain REALLY wants to distract me from some deep-seated fears and threats (which I've never clearly identified – doesn't matter). Keeping the mind buzzing obsessively is a great way to do it – almost as good as keeping it focused on pain! It can be hard to unseat constant hypervigilance but it's possible. I needed to see a psychologist for a few years. Not a TMS one, but it was brilliant. I can now detach from my worries a bit a realise they are not always indicative of reality – just like pain is not usually an indicator of tissue damage.
BTW, I also had edema on my PF scans (and visible swelling). It still resolved with no rhyme or reason. Time off from running didn't see the pain resolve, so I just went back to running despite the pain and it went away at some point (can't even put my finger on when!). It appears that swelling, edema, redness and those kinds of things can all be part of the TMS package. I'll be taking the same approach with my new bout – I treat it as an acute injury for about 6 weeks, but if it's not resolved by then I accept that my brain has co-opted it for its own 'protective' purposes and I move into TMS extermination mode
I wish you well on your journey to freedom from pain.