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Brene Brown - Boundaries, Empathy, and Compassion
- Thread starter mike2014
- Start date
Andy Bayliss
TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle
Great stuff Mike!
How can we be loving to our friend, when we're resentful that "my friend just did something to me?" I recall seeing once that I would rather not bring up my issue with a friend, because I actually wanted to be in a stance of "resentful, superiority" and that clearing the air would take this stance away from me. Even though I was in pain about the state of the relationship (my resentment, and not feeling attuned to by my friend), the fact that that I was "wronged" made me feel superior! Having clear boundaries may take away many subtle "supports" that we "depend on", well beyond the obvious fear of losing relationship when we are ourselves.
And the boundary piece is obviously so up for the Goodist, so this is very applicable to TMS.
How can we be loving to our friend, when we're resentful that "my friend just did something to me?" I recall seeing once that I would rather not bring up my issue with a friend, because I actually wanted to be in a stance of "resentful, superiority" and that clearing the air would take this stance away from me. Even though I was in pain about the state of the relationship (my resentment, and not feeling attuned to by my friend), the fact that that I was "wronged" made me feel superior! Having clear boundaries may take away many subtle "supports" that we "depend on", well beyond the obvious fear of losing relationship when we are ourselves.
And the boundary piece is obviously so up for the Goodist, so this is very applicable to TMS.
I think this is quite pivotal imo. So much conflict occurs in so many relationships and friendships because of lack of boundaries.
Since our emotions shape us on a physiological level, one has to really become better at homing in on this skill rather than feeling wronged.
Since our emotions shape us on a physiological level, one has to really become better at homing in on this skill rather than feeling wronged.
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