I totally agree about the overstimulation. Things are just too quick for my older brain! Way too much information and we are not equipped to store that much. Also the obfuscation is quite a challenge because we humans want to know what's true and that's almost impossible anymore. I don't know if I will ever get to the point of being fine with nothing to do for any length of time. It does seem like a waste of human life to simply be, not feeling like I am contributing to anything worthwhile, but I know simply "being" is what all the gurus say is a preferred state.
My best effort right now is to keep dismissing my thoughts once I realize I am in a confused state, looking for a physical cause and solution, ask my mind what it needs to feel safe, and see what happens next.
The problem is always the fear. The fear of being bored, the fear of one wasting one's life, because you aren't doing interesting things, and the clock is ticking, the fear of not sleeping, of being abandon by life, while others, younger people, are having the time of their lives, the fear of being broken, and the fear of having fear.
My TMS crisis goes from fear to rage, to nostalgia, to loneliness. I mean, I look at my life and I think what's next? Can one really be at ease with their thoughts, when your above 50, and life insists on making you alone? I mean, it's so difficult to meet new people at my age, that are available for a friendship. On the other hand, things don't excite me as they used to. This digital world is drowning you in information. I used to make music, videos, etc. But now, I simple think, what is the point of doing it, when people are too busy to see something longer than a 30 seconds clip on Instagram. Well, I end up not doing at all. I stop doing music, and other creative stuff, and nobody cares.
The truth is that we will always be obsolete with time. It was so good to read a book in the old days, I remember devouring Sarno's books, but now it seems like a waste of time. I don't wanna be in this moving train anymore. I really think slowing down is the key. Do you think boredom will vanish, once you slow your life and train your brain that it is safe to slow down, and have no "exciting" things to do?
I fear not having nothing to do/boredom because I'm inundated by thoughts that creates me anxiety, thus pain. I guess this happens with everyone here. TMS don't like when you lack the motivation to do things.
O also understand why lousy weather also creates pain. Lousy weather makes you be at home, and being at home, will bore you, because you are confined, namely for someone that are so fed up with computers, and such. Claustrophobia makes you fee pain.
By the way, I during this last crisis I start eating chocolate a lot. Chocolate mousse, cakes, etc. I'm slim, it doesn't affect my weight at all, but it is something that gives me pleasure and not depend on others. Chocolate really affects my mood
Oh TMS, it makes you suffer, to keep you safe, which also means not to lose motivation in life
TMS push you forward. Stalling is like your grave.
By the way, lately I been having great fear after a period where I am distracted, or after sleeping, like, fear/anxiety has accumulated, and than floods me, after I think about where did it goes. Can someone comment on this?
