It is dangerous to depend on anyone for your happiness Filipe. You putting yourself at the mercy of others. You let other people decide if you should be happy or lonely and depress. Tms/anxiety, loneliness, depression are all disease of the mind. We lost control of our mind. We let it wandering aimlessly waiting for others to lead it . It is a conditioned mind. It is a learned habit. We let society, people around us, and our environment dictate how happy or sad we should be.
You got to take back control. You have to utilize the power of choosing. Life is a choice, a mind set. Don't let it depend on anything or anyone.
I have met a few master meditator who have live alone without seeing another human being for months at time. They are the most happy people I have ever met. They master their thought. They control it. They pick and choose whatever feeling they want for themselves. I have met many single backpacker traveling around the world all by themselves. They slept in cheap guesthouses, ate cheap street foods, carry only 3 set clothes and an ipad. They travel the world and feel wonderful. Many of them told me they never feel better being alone. Much more than when they were with friends partying back in the States. I have met a 90 years old man who were widow when he was 65. He always smile, always have a very content and at peace look on him, and he is at his best when he is out working in his garden. He live alone in a small shed at a foot of a mountain in the Northeast part of Thailand. His closest neighbor live about 10 minutes walk away, he told me he choose to be happy. It is just a feeling. I have met a Catholic priest traveling alone from country to country. He visited all these orphanages and poor houses around the world, bringing them financial support that he had collected from around the world. He told me he often go for days without talking to anyone. And no, he is not lonely. He love what he is doing and he said he always feel great. He has his calling. I met a refugee who left his home country and family when he was a minor. He live alone and went to school during the day, washing dishes at night in a restaurant. He has no friend because he doesn't speak English much. His family is half way around the world. He love his life, he feel fortunate he "made" it out alive and is now able to work and send help to his family. He has a chance to be somebody some day (some of you probably know who this kid is). He has his "calling" too. I know of a man in his 80's in Chicago. he chose to be a bachelor his whole life and he is perfectly happy with his lovely dog. He is now teaching people how to overcome tms. He even wrote a book about it.
I don't have any advise for you, I just feel very strongly that we are what we think all day long and loneliness is a habitual feeling. Break out of it, choose to be happy. Choose to put others before you, be compassionate for others and seek out and help people who are less fortunate than us usually bring us happiness. Don't sit there and wait for other to bring it to us. We give then we shall receive.
Just my 2 cents.
- Absence of exciting and stimulating things to do in my life. I feel my life has stalled somehow (not in my work though). And time is running out. I'm getting old