Once I knew without a doubt that it was TMS, I guess you could say I had to start the process of doing the work. Patience and persistence and not being hard on yourself is key. I had to start shifting my thoughts from the physical to the psychological. This took a lot of practice and repetition. You are almost retraining your brain and overriding old neural pathways. Every time I would get distracted by a pain sensation (which was like every second LOL), I would ask myself how I was feeling and if something was bothering me. It could be something that annoyed me on a daily basis, or maybe I had gotten in a fight with my husband a couple of hours prior, maybe I was worried about one of my kids. It could be something relatively trivial or something more over- arching like years of accumulated stress from my younger son's autism, or feeling trapped etc. I would shift from thinking about the pain to the emotion, since the pain was just trying to distract me from what my brain perceived as threatening emotions. This is how you communicate to your brain that it's ok, you can handle the emotion, and it can stop sending you pain signals. This is the first technique you have to practice. The second goes a little deeper and it's a little more esoteric. As you know, people with TMS have certain personalities so often when one thing goes away, another form of TMS can pop up...it could be another part of the body or it can manifest as anxiety etc... In my case, I had a bizarre thing happen. I had a massage where the massage therapist decided to dig into my kneecaps. This triggered off full blown RSD in both knees. This has been a longer road for me because I was quite attached to my legs and always considered it my best feature. TMS is so tricky that it will find new ways of distracting a person. For me. the red/mottled color and swelling is powerfully distracting. I haven't been able to look in a mirror from the waist down in 4 years. Ironically, it was the opposite before that. So here is where the second technique comes in. You essentially have to become a different person. You have to become greater than your body, time and your environment. As humans, we tend to go on autopilot. We do the same things, think the same thoughts, day after day on autopilot. Even changing your routine and environment a bit can help nudge your thoughts in a different direction. You have to accept and become indifferent to the pain because the pain is not YOU. For a long time the pain has controlled and probably intimidated you. I know it did for me. Although I haven't reached the finish line yet, I was bedridden a few years ago. Now I'm fully functioning but still have some burning neuropathy and stabbing pain. It's not 24/7 though. I do try to wear things that show my knees but I'm still extremely self conscious. I guess this is my last and hardest hurdle. In the mean time I go about my life as if I was normal. "Fake it till you make it" or until your brain believes it and your body catches up. There was a time that I could have never imagined wearing sneakers but I can actually wear high heels now! I figure, that if I could overcome my feet, then my brain is capable of overcoming my knees!
I hope my experience and story helps!!
