Hello everyone,
I have gained some great inspiration from the posts here and I would love some advice.
A quick background, I am 42 years old with I guess what would be considered a classic case of TMS. I began having pain symptoms in junior high school (approx. 13 years old). Because the doctors my mother took me to did not know what to do about my complaints of knee, back, arm and hand pain, they sent me to a rheumatologist who diagnosed me with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis even though I never had any swelling. From an early age they told me to read books about arthritis to "educate" myself. They also put me on strong anti-inflammatory drugs which gave me nose bleeds. I took myself off them soon after because they were no help. Essentially, I began quite young to believe that my body was the problem. Structural problems instead of Psychological, how would I know otherwise when this is what the doctors told me..
I have since had two blood tests done which are clear of the arthritis factors. I have also spoken to a prominent rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.
Fast forward several years and I began researching natural cures and tried literally everything from very expensive supplements to colon cleanses and expensive postural therapy with no help and a lot of money spent. Some books told me certain foods that I ate would cause my symptoms so I also avoided these foods with still no relief.
After reading John Sarno's books Mindbody Prescription and The Divided Mind I literally saw myself on every page. Chronic worrier, very success driven and a perfectionist, inferiority issues, extremely self critical, need to be liked and a very demanding and stressful job. I grew up with an extremely angry father who terrorized me and my siblings with angry outbursts and continual screaming. Typically he would tell us we were worthless and sometimes become physically abusive.
I have read the two Sarno books that I mentioned and purchased the audio book for The Divided Mind which I listen to every day. I have been journaling for two months now where I have put down a lot of mental baggage on the pages, only missing a few days journaling due to a busy work schedule but I still feel a lot of pain. Literally from head to toe. I have read that the journaling and self exploration can bring about increased pain as well as some anxiety and depression as equivalents. Boy have I had all of these. I have literally felt as though I was having a nervous breakdown a few time due to stress at work where I had to leave my office and walk to clear my head, before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and I was hysterical. I have had a history with anxiety and depression and it seems to have ramped up since I started journaling.
Because of my history with the doctors and the books filling my head with the structural diagnosis, I am really trying hard to accept the psychological (reduced blood flow to targeted areas of the body as a protective distraction to keep painful emotions from surfacing). Part of me is still clinging to the structural diagnosis, which I heard can be part of the disorder - doubt/denial of the syndrome is part of the syndrome. I have always popped and snapped and cracked from head to toe and this just helps contribute to it be structural even though the popping doesn't tend to be painful.
My question...
What advice would some of you who have had success give someone who is just starting on the journey to recovery? Are there some helpful and encouraging threads on the forum?
I have also considered trying these opitons:
-Structured Educational Program
-Unlearn your Pain - by Dr. Schubiner
-The Master Practice
Sorry this is so long. Thank you for the great community, I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment.
Have a great night,
James Hollander
I have gained some great inspiration from the posts here and I would love some advice.
A quick background, I am 42 years old with I guess what would be considered a classic case of TMS. I began having pain symptoms in junior high school (approx. 13 years old). Because the doctors my mother took me to did not know what to do about my complaints of knee, back, arm and hand pain, they sent me to a rheumatologist who diagnosed me with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis even though I never had any swelling. From an early age they told me to read books about arthritis to "educate" myself. They also put me on strong anti-inflammatory drugs which gave me nose bleeds. I took myself off them soon after because they were no help. Essentially, I began quite young to believe that my body was the problem. Structural problems instead of Psychological, how would I know otherwise when this is what the doctors told me..
I have since had two blood tests done which are clear of the arthritis factors. I have also spoken to a prominent rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia.
Fast forward several years and I began researching natural cures and tried literally everything from very expensive supplements to colon cleanses and expensive postural therapy with no help and a lot of money spent. Some books told me certain foods that I ate would cause my symptoms so I also avoided these foods with still no relief.
After reading John Sarno's books Mindbody Prescription and The Divided Mind I literally saw myself on every page. Chronic worrier, very success driven and a perfectionist, inferiority issues, extremely self critical, need to be liked and a very demanding and stressful job. I grew up with an extremely angry father who terrorized me and my siblings with angry outbursts and continual screaming. Typically he would tell us we were worthless and sometimes become physically abusive.
I have read the two Sarno books that I mentioned and purchased the audio book for The Divided Mind which I listen to every day. I have been journaling for two months now where I have put down a lot of mental baggage on the pages, only missing a few days journaling due to a busy work schedule but I still feel a lot of pain. Literally from head to toe. I have read that the journaling and self exploration can bring about increased pain as well as some anxiety and depression as equivalents. Boy have I had all of these. I have literally felt as though I was having a nervous breakdown a few time due to stress at work where I had to leave my office and walk to clear my head, before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and I was hysterical. I have had a history with anxiety and depression and it seems to have ramped up since I started journaling.
Because of my history with the doctors and the books filling my head with the structural diagnosis, I am really trying hard to accept the psychological (reduced blood flow to targeted areas of the body as a protective distraction to keep painful emotions from surfacing). Part of me is still clinging to the structural diagnosis, which I heard can be part of the disorder - doubt/denial of the syndrome is part of the syndrome. I have always popped and snapped and cracked from head to toe and this just helps contribute to it be structural even though the popping doesn't tend to be painful.
My question...
What advice would some of you who have had success give someone who is just starting on the journey to recovery? Are there some helpful and encouraging threads on the forum?
I have also considered trying these opitons:
-Structured Educational Program
-Unlearn your Pain - by Dr. Schubiner
-The Master Practice
Sorry this is so long. Thank you for the great community, I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment.
Have a great night,
James Hollander
