Balance issues/boat sensations/dizzyness/vertigo

@Booble are you a therapist? I need a mentor like you!

 

Hi @Miller. I'm not a therapist, I just play one on TV...err....on the forum. Seriously though, I'm just a person sharing my thoughts, ideas and experience. If any of my drivel helps or resonates that makes me happy.

The beauty of the forum is that you get a whole host of mentors. Feel free to share any concerns and I'll be glad to put in my 2 cents. I generally have a good $.08 to go around.

 

I’ve just never made any progress with “TMS work” I just seem to end up overthinking everything and worrying about my symptoms - it doesn’t help that I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and health anxiety among other things. I just feel like I’m in and endless loop of symptoms and anxiety

 

I suppose I think “well I don’t just have tms I have anxiety too and ocd, so I can’t just get on with my life”

 

Isn’t anxiety a type of TMS?

 

God how I wish I could do this. I lived alongside my symptoms quite peacefully for a long time and then the concept of tms threw me into a tailspin and I fear everything more than ever. I must be the only person this has happened to as everyone else seems to get better once they learn of tms.

 

@Miller - I'm sorry you've had this reaction, but please don't give up hope. At least you've identified your fear and that's a start. Many people can't even recognize their own fear. There are things you can do to start turning down the temperature. Alan Gordon provides some of these techniques. I've got his audio book and I listen to a bit most mornings when I get up.

It can take time. It's taken me time. One important pillar of this program is building faith and confidence that it will work for you. One of the biggest obstacles to recovery is thinking we are "somehow unique". That was the whole point of my post above. The same basic techniques that people always talk about eventually worked for me. Keep the faith and do the work.

 

Ok I am going to summarise everything here for myself as much as anyone else because I really need to a draw a line in the sand so that I can move on and do the tms work.

I had an odd lightheaded feeling for many years after experiencing some personal stress. I managed to continue working, travelling and normal life stuff, I was just very tired and slept more than most people. I was always aware of this feeling but had no explanation for it so I suppose I didn’t let it bother me too much.

Fast forward to 5 years ago I had some health anxiety over another symptom. Once that symptom resolved the fear must have transferred to the dizziness because it became much harder to deal with. I found out about “tms” which felt like a diagnosis that there was actually something wrong with me (emotionally if not physically).

I had lots of personal stress at the same time and ended up having a mental breakdown of sorts, quit my job and have been doing temp work here and there ever since so I haven’t fully committed to life again. The anxiety, the increased symptoms, the constant worry has never left me.

I had a baby 18 months ago and when she was 1 year I was admitted to a mental hospital for such severe anxiety. Hence why I do feel “unique” as I feel my issues are quite severe. It all stems from the symptoms, the pressure of fixing myself, the worry that my emotional tendencies are the cause of my suffering.

I have been going round in circles for a long time. I have just been put on yet another SSRI as others haven’t worked for me and am having an awful time with depersonalisation on top of all the symptoms I’ve already mentioned.

I just feel like no matter what I do, another symptom or doubt will pop up and floor me again. I’m very, very tired of living like this while trying to care for my 18month old. It just feels like I will never get myself back to where I was/want to be.

So if anyone has anything to add that may help me, please do. Thank you

 

I’m also completely addicted to seeking reassurance through google, all kinds of forums and anxiety websites including this one

 

Hi Miller,

Sorry you are going through rough times.

Personally I don't look at TMS as a diagnosis but more as an understanding of how the brain works and how with that understanding you can prevent it from hurting you.

Those of us with health anxiety are prone to our brains doing what it thinks is best -- checking, checking, checking on ourselves. studying studying studying. Basically fearing and trying to control.

These two things are all tied together because, in my way of viewing things, it all produces a variety of physical sensations that we call symptoms.

We create these physical sensations and then we fear those physical sensations and we get into a really bad loop of ever exacerbating everything.

The good news is that we can learn to lessen all of this to somewhere between 0 and manageable level. With peaks and valleys. And an occasional, short lived "oh F#%!

If you've just started a new SSRI, then give it a chance to kick in. It's going to cause a lot of weird sensations and feelings in the first month or two. After that you might find that everything calms down and makes you feel better than ever and no longer obsessing on your health.

I'm not sure what you've done in regard to "TMS work" -- I don't do any "work" per se -- I make sure I understand the concept of the brain creating symptoms in order to "protect you" and I write each day about various crap from the past or present that I'm angry or hurt about. For whatever reasons, that seems to release and lessen any symptoms I'm experiencing, lessens the urge to symptom search, lessens the urge to check on my body, and so on.

If there is one thing that I've learned over the years, even though you feel like shit now and it feels like you will feel like shit forever and that there is no possible way you will feel normal again ---- YOU WILL. Seriously, you will. Peaks and valleys with most of the time feeling good, living life and no longer worrying, obsessing, and feeling bad every minute of the day.

 

Yes I’m really feeling the side effects from the SSRI - it’s mostly the detached, unreal feeling that is bothering me to be honest. Plus the increased dizziness which is very unhelpful!

I’ve felt this way for 5 years and I’m losing hope that I can turn the ship around so to speak. I suppose I’ve lost faith in myself - I’m very much a “thinker” and very frustrated I haven’t been able to think my way out of this - or stop trying to!

I appreciate your reply - I suppose I have read too many different opinions on this forum about whether the symptoms are protecting us from emotions or not that I’ve gotten a bit confused and don’t really know what I believe

 

Yes, it's us "Thinkers."
But, hey, generally speaking it's better to be a thinker than a dud.

Try turning that thinking into thinking about your hidden emotions. Grab pen and paper and have at it. You'd be surprised what might come out.

 

I have tried journaling before but was doing it to make symptoms go away I suppose. Can I write about how I feel about the symptoms or does it have to be other stuff?

 

First off, I'd forget the word "journaling."
As @JanAtheCPA said, it's just writing shit down.

I look at it like this, you know that saying from the movie Fight Club....
"The first rule of TMS is that you don't talk about symptoms."

So with that in mind, why not try what I'm suggesting? Write about what you might be mad about about -- from the past, from family members, work colleagues, old friend, ex-es. Anybody. What they did to you or didn't do to you or how they made you feel. Or how you are angry that you didn't get angry.
Anything. Who hurt you? Even for something that sounds stupid and trivial right now, but hurt you back then. When you were little, or a teen, or a young adult, or a full adult. Anything. Write, write, write, write......find those old voices.
It feels good.

 

The free SEP (on the main wiki) has writing exercises of many types. Another journaling resource is Nicole Sachs, LCSW, the queen of what she calls "JournalSpeak" (she's one who advocates throwing out your journaling immediately). Website, book, podcast.

 

Yes. Anxiety is TMS. Unmanaged, out of control anxiety may lead to pain symptoms. Then people notice that they have chronic pain and start taking care of the pain, only to discover that the root of their problems is anxiety!

 

@JanAtheCPA mentioned JournalSpeak. Here's an explanation: How to JournalSpeak — The Cure for Chronic Pain I have found this a VERY effective tool against TMS. However, I should note, that sometimes this kind of intense journaling can actually increase anxiety, temporarily. So, you may want to consider whether it's right for you at this point.

I am a big fan of Nicole Sachs, especially her free podcast. I've found a listening to her and Alan Gordon's audio book a powerful combination.

 

I don't know if my post will help you... I had just the same symptoms, just the same thoughts and despair three years ago. I also thought that this was so rare... I did the sep program, then the Alan Gordon ' s . I made changes in my life. It took me much much time to realize the repressed stuff, the hidden emotions and I am still on my way to this. I ve made progress but not entirely healed. Be patient, take care of yourself and perhaps find someone to speak, someone who will understand you and accept your feelings, no matter what they are. Even better find someone to help you. I think you are tired because of the constant effort to be good, to accomplish, to be " there" and you need to be taken care too.. it needs time

 

I need to add something. I have still symptoms from time to time or during the day ( yes, when this happened, I had symptoms all day long, every day, except when I was driving - I think driving gives you the feeling that you have control over something and you have your attention "there") so I try not to read other people 's stories- except for success stories! Because it makes my symptoms flare up. So I am going to visit forum when I feel ready again. Your story reminded me everything, job, parenting, the feelings of despair and weakness and unfortunately I feel the symptoms too...Keep going, nothing lasts forever, everything can change anytime and be aware of your feelings, the more you realize and respect them, the happier you will be.

 

I would think this post would help a lot of people, @Xara!

Short and simple, yet profound and with great advice.

Thank you

~Jan