Day 8 Back to physical task

[Wheelchair]

So I've had a couple of moments where i was skeptic about whether or not i should consider myself as a TMS patient, but over time going through SEP program made me believe that i was indeed a TMS victim. I've read 'Healing the back pain', read many success stories. It's a slow and steady work as i'm addressing my emotions day in and day out, i've made progress and i'm in more control of my anger then i've ever been in the past, i started to let go things or memories that were bothering me but my fear is somewhat that i've not been able to dealt with perfectly, i would say that is what that's been holding me back. For example, it was two days back when my mother had severe stomach ache, we quickly learned that her sugar level was high as she had long been a diabetic patient. Immediately after i learned that the negative emotions like veined into by blood stream, like something worse is gonna happen and this is something like i've been trying desperately to overcome, yet i've setbacks. I know SEP is a good program and is going to keep me progressing but i also need some help or advice on what i can possibly do beside SEP to overcome these negative emotions.

 

[Aimee88]

@Wheelchair, coming here to your post was perfect just now. I was reading in the support forum, and thinking, I don't want to get into discussions about symptoms, I *know* it's about emotions....I'm going back to SEP to see what people are talking about. It's about these emotions, and *feeling* them. Allowing them. Letting them be, arise, show themselves, and they dissipate. And we learn that it is safe to feel. It is safe and normal and healthy to *feel* emotions. Thank you, because it is perfect for me to have this opportunity to say this in this way, kind of out loud, for myself right now.

In one way, so many of my insights lately into myself and my emotions and patterns of suppressing and denying them, and my ways of relating to and using other people, seem to be showing me how broken I still am. And yet, if I pause, let myself feel, which I have done a lot of this weekend (big tears, lots of journaling, more reading), I find that I've moved on to something I enjoy, and I feel better, with no drama, no fanfare. Also this weekend, I have done yoga twice, just because I can and it felt good. And on Friday I walked a lot and moved some big heavy things, and then connected with a friend I hadn't spoken to for a long time, and shared quite honestly. This is all progress for me! The feeling. The moving. The lifting. The reconnecting. All of it.

I now have the shredder nearby. I write freely, get it all out, whatever it is, and then I'm shredding the pages. It has freed me up to be more self-honest. Writing works for me, the act of writing keeps me focused, I think, and knowing I will just shred them helps me to be really open and honest, like never before, with myself or anyone else. I really liked the journaling exercises in the SEP. How are you finding them?

 

[Wheelchair]

Well ho

@Wheelchair, coming here to your post was perfect just now. I was reading in the support forum, and thinking, I don't want to get into discussions about symptoms, I *know* it's about emotions....I'm going back to SEP to see what people are talking about. It's about these emotions, and *feeling* them. Allowing them. Letting them be, arise, show themselves, and they dissipate. And we learn that it is safe to feel. It is safe and normal and healthy to *feel* emotions. Thank you, because it is perfect for me to have this opportunity to say this in this way, kind of out loud, for myself right now.

In one way, so many of my insights lately into myself and my emotions and patterns of suppressing and denying them, and my ways of relating to and using other people, seem to be showing me how broken I still am. And yet, if I pause, let myself feel, which I have done a lot of this weekend (big tears, lots of journaling, more reading), I find that I've moved on to something I enjoy, and I feel better, with no drama, no fanfare. Also this weekend, I have done yoga twice, just because I can and it felt good. And on Friday I walked a lot and moved some big heavy things, and then connected with a friend I hadn't spoken to for a long time, and shared quite honestly. This is all progress for me! The feeling. The moving. The lifting. The reconnecting. All of it.

I now have the shredder nearby. I write freely, get it all out, whatever it is, and then I'm shredding the pages. It has freed me up to be more self-honest. Writing works for me, the act of writing keeps me focused, I think, and knowing I will just shred them helps me to be really open and honest, like never before, with myself or anyone else. I really liked the journaling exercises in the SEP. How are you finding them?

Well honestly the Journaling

@Wheelchair, coming here to your post was perfect just now. I was reading in the support forum, and thinking, I don't want to get into discussions about symptoms, I *know* it's about emotions....I'm going back to SEP to see what people are talking about. It's about these emotions, and *feeling* them. Allowing them. Letting them be, arise, show themselves, and they dissipate. And we learn that it is safe to feel. It is safe and normal and healthy to *feel* emotions. Thank you, because it is perfect for me to have this opportunity to say this in this way, kind of out loud, for myself right now.

In one way, so many of my insights lately into myself and my emotions and patterns of suppressing and denying them, and my ways of relating to and using other people, seem to be showing me how broken I still am. And yet, if I pause, let myself feel, which I have done a lot of this weekend (big tears, lots of journaling, more reading), I find that I've moved on to something I enjoy, and I feel better, with no drama, no fanfare. Also this weekend, I have done yoga twice, just because I can and it felt good. And on Friday I walked a lot and moved some big heavy things, and then connected with a friend I hadn't spoken to for a long time, and shared quite honestly. This is all progress for me! The feeling. The moving. The lifting. The reconnecting. All of it.

I now have the shredder nearby. I write freely, get it all out, whatever it is, and then I'm shredding the pages. It has freed me up to be more self-honest. Writing works for me, the act of writing keeps me focused, I think, and knowing I will just shred them helps me to be really open and honest, like never before, with myself or anyone else. I really liked the journaling exercises in the SEP. How are you finding them?

The Journaling has been the best part for me too, i've learned so much about myself that i could never i wouldn't have started Journaling but having said that it was not easy as expected, i've had pretty emotional moments, i realized my mistakes and i learned alot about how i was treating others and more importantly how i was treating myself. One thing for sure 'Never run away from emotions, it may not seem very important to stay with it at that moment but the baggage you carry will not leave you until you return to that moment and address it'.

 

[Aimee88]

'Never run away from emotions, it may not seem very important to stay with it at that moment but the baggage you carry will not leave you until you return to that moment and address it'.

@Wheelchair....brilliant!